Tatsuhiko Takimoto - Welcome to the NHK!

“It’s a code for EROA and GARIOA. [24] In Japanese, erotic game often is called eroge, which is why this lie is plausible. EROA stands for Economic Rehabilitation in Occupied Areas, and GARIOA is Government Appropriation for Relief in Occupied Areas. They were developed by the American government to prevent social problems, such as disease and famine, in the areas occupied by the U.S. after World War II.”

“That’s a huge lie, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

“You being a creator was a lie, too, right?”

“Yeah.”

“In reality, you’re an unemployed hikikomori, aren’t you?”

“Yeah.”

I held out the contract. Quickly snatching it from my hands, Misaki jumped up. “You finally felt like signing it! You’ll be all right now, Satou. You can travel off into the wide world after just a little training.”

“Misaki, who are you, really?”

“I told you before, didn’t I? I’m a kind girl who rescues young people in pain. This activity is, of course, a part of my project. Please, rest assured, nothing bad will happen. Okay?”

It was a dubious explanation. Still…

“Anyway, with this, our contract is in force! If you break it, the penalty is a million yen, okay?” Misaki pocketed the contract and smiled blindingly. Right then, I started getting nervous. I had the feeling I had made some gigantic mistake.

Just how much legal force did this contract have? I should have asked my friend from college who had studied law.

Name of hikikomori: Satou Tatsuhiro.

Name of escape supporter: Misaki Nakahara.

Defining the hikikomori as party A and the supporter as party B, the following has been contracted between the two parties.

A will confess to B all anguish, complication, complaints, whines, and every other inward thought concerning escape from hikikomori life.

B will do everything in his or her power to aid A’s escape from hikikomori life and to make his or her return to society (noted as C) succeed. Additionally, during the process toward C, B will attempt to preserve the emotional stability of A.

Conversely, A will speak politely to B.

A will obediently do anything that B instructs.

Furthermore, A will not treat B as an obnoxious person. A will not treat B cruelly.

Naturally, violent acts, such as hitting or kicking, shall not be performed.

Counseling shall take place every evening at the Mita Fourth District park. Come after eating dinner.

If A observes the contract, A should move toward C.

If A breaks the contract, the penalty is one million yen.

Remembering the contract’s contents, I was attacked by severe anxiety. “Forget about it! Give me back the contract!”

But Misaki had long since departed.

I had been left alone, at my absolute limit.

Before I knew it, I had gotten run down, both socially and emotionally; it was that kind of summer. Before I knew it, I had been locked in a kind of cage, with no hope for escape; it was that sort of July. I tried calling, “Help me!” Nothing—not love, dreams, hope, effort, friendship, or victory—could save me. I was in real trouble.

At least Yamazaki had some opinions about his future. Even though he was shouting, “Arghhh! Don't screw around with me”, at least he had some sort of ambition. He’d been thinking about his family’s business since he was little.

“I’ll get out of this shitty countryside and make a name for myself in the big city! Y-y-you hypocrites! Just watch and I’ll show you all! I have talent! I may not know what kind of talent, but I have it!”

Before I could confirm the existence of my own talent, it seemed as if fate would force me to return to the countryside, as well. The countryside, with its bizarre family ties, annoying smiles, redneck punks, roads made unnecessarily wide by local politicians, and only one convenience store… I was going to have to make a U-turn back to the awful, crappy countryside. I contemplated this destination with heartfelt regret.

I shouted in a beautifully manly way, too. “Waaaahhh! It’s terrible, terrible, terrible!” I didn’t know exactly what was terrible; for now, though, something certainly was terrible. In fact, so many terrible things were happening that I couldn’t see any way to fix them.

For one thing, my allowance from home finally stopped. Even so, for some reason, the will to work did not bubble up. Even though I had been worn down, I still couldn’t go outside. My title as a “high-level hikikomori” wasn’t just for show. However, I had to manage my living expenses at the least, or else I might be chased out of my apartment as early as tomorrow. I had to do something.

With my student credit card, I brashly borrowed money. Following that, I sold my furniture. I took my washing machine, refrigerator, TV, computer, kotatsu, and bed to a secondhand shop near my house. I also tried selling my entire library to a used bookstore. In this way, having managed to raise enough money to live on, I’d bought myself a little more time.

Slightly more secure, boredom became the main problem. Both Yamazaki and I became really bored. Alleviating it occupied most of our attention. “What should I do? I have nothing to do.”

I conferred with Yamazaki.

He seemed to be at the end of his rope. Lying face down on his apartment floor, he whispered unenthusiastically, “I’m not in as desperate a position as you, Satou—yet for some reason, I can’t calm down. Even if we are escaping from reality, I’d like to be able to do it in a rejuvenating way, if possible.”

Escaping from reality… Triggered by his words, a good idea came to me. “Speaking of escaping, that’s what people do in their fleeting youth, right?”

“Yeah.”

“And speaking of fleeting, that reminds me of rock.”

I shook Yamazaki’s shoulders back and forth. “That’s right, rock and roll! Sex, drugs, and violence!”

Yamazaki stood up, swinging his fist about wildly and bellowing loudly, “I see! That’s fantastic! Speaking of rock and roll, I really respect Jerry Lee Lewis.”

“Who’s that?”

“He’s the lolicon rocker who, defying social convention, married his thirteen-year-old cousin, making him the so-called giant of the lolicon world. His way of life was truly anti-establishment! Great Balls of Fire! ”

We decided that our theme from then on would be “sex, drugs, and violence.” If we steered our lives in that direction, we might be able to spend every day in a more energetic and happily youthful way. At least, that was our hope, and we clung to it.

Speaking of sex, it’s not for minors under 18. Speaking of “not for minors under 18”, erotic games! Even now, Yamazaki kept working on his erotic game. Why? No one could possibly know, but it seemed sad. It was lonely. That was all I knew. I had no idea why, but it made me want to cry.

Using the money I had secured from selling my furniture, I bought some serious drugs.

“These are all legal!” Yamazaki complained.

I hung my head. “What else can I do? There’s no way I could buy illegal drugs by mail. For a hikikomori, this is the best I can do.”

“Pathetic. That’s so lame.”

Finally, Yamazaki and I ended up fighting in my six-mat, one room apartment. In the middle of the empty room, we faced each other in fighting stances. I imitated Bruce Lee, whom I had recently seen on TV. Yamazaki used fighting games as his reference, adopting the crane pose.