Iain Banks - The Crow Road

And why hadn't Ken told him he was writing too? He might have been able to help him, but even if Ken had wanted to do it all without any assistance from his younger brother, he might at least have told him what he was doing. Instead Rory had found out only when Ken had had his first story published, and now it was as though they were passing each other travelling in opposite directions; Ken slowly but surely building up a reputation as a children's story-teller while his own supposed career as a professional recounter of traveller's tales sank gradually in the west. Books people forgot about and articles in Sunday supplements that were only one notch above the sort of shit tourist boards put out.

And so he'd left London, to come here, hoping to lick the closing wise wound of whatever talent it was he had.

He'd spent a lot of time just wandering in the hills. Sometimes Ken came too, or one of the boys if they were in the mood, but mostly he went by himself, trying to sort himself out. What it boiled down to was: there was here, where he had friends and family, or there was London where he had a few friends and a lot of contacts, and it felt like things were happening, and where you could fill time with something no matter how mixed up and fraudulent you felt… or there was abroad, of course; the rest of the world; India (to take the most extreme example he'd found so far), where you felt like an alien, lumbering and self-conscious, materially far more rich and spiritually far more poor than the people who thronged the place, where just by that intensity of touching, that very sweating crowdedness, you felt more apart, more consigned to a different, echoing place inside yourself.

One day, on a long walk, he'd almost literally bumped into Fergus Urvill, crouching in a hide up amongst the folds in the hills, waiting with telescope and.303 for a wounded Sika deer. Fergus had motioned him to sit down with him behind the hide, and to keep quiet. Rory had waited with the older man — silent for quarter of an hour apart from a whispered hello and a quick explanation of what was going on — until the herd of deer appeared, brown shapes on the brown hill. One animal was holding the rest back; limping heavily. Fergus waited until the herd was as close as it looked like it was going to come, then sighted on the limping beast, still two hundred yards away.

The sound of the shot left Rory's ears ringing. The Sika's head jerked; it dropped to its knees and keeled over. The rest raced off, bouncing across the heather.

He helped Fergus drag the small corpse down the slope to the track, where the Land Rover was parked, and accepted a lift back to the road.

"Hardly recognised you, Roderick," Fergus said, as he drove. "Not seen you since Fi and I got shackled. Must be at least that long."

"I've been away."

"Of course; your travels. I've got that India book of yours, you know."

"Ah." Rory watched the trees slide past the Land Rover's windows.

"Done any others?"

"There was one about the States and Mexico. Last year."

"Really?" Fergus looked over at him briefly. "I didn't hear about that,"

Rory smiled thinly. "No," he said.

Fergus made a grunting noise, changed gear as they bumped down the track towards the main road. "Ken said something about you living in a squat in London… or something ridiculous like that. That right?"

"Housing cooperative."

"Ah-ha." Fergus drove on for a while. "Always wanted to take a look at India myself, you know," he said suddenly. "Keep meaning to go; never quite get around to it, know what I mean?"

"Well, it isn't the sort of place you can just take a look at."

"No?"

"Not really."

The Land Rover came down to the main road between Lochgilphead and Lochgair. "Look, we've got a do on this evening, in the town — " Fergus glanced at his watch. " — bit late already, to tell the truth. But how about coming round tomorrow for… In fact, d'you fish?"

"Fish? Yeah, I used to."

"Not against your vegetarian principles, is it?"

"No. India didn't change me that much."

"Well, then; come fishing with me tomorrow. Pool on the Add with a monster trout in it; been after the swine for months. Plenty of smaller stuff too, though. Fancy it? Course, I'll never talk to you again if you catch the big feller, but might make a fun afternoon. What do you say?"

"Okay," he said.

So they became friends, after a fashion. Most of Rory's pals in London were in the International Marxist Group, but here he was wandering the hills with an upper class dingbat who just happened to be married to his sister and who lived for huntin', shootin" and fishin" (and seemed to spend the absolute minimum amount of time in his castle with his wife), and who had just last year rationalised half the work force in the glass factory out of a job. Still, they got on together, somehow, and Fergus was an undemanding companion; company of a sort, but not taxing; none of Ken's garrulousness, Lewis's moodiness or Prentice or James's ceaseless questioning. It was almost like walking the hills on your own.

And a couple of days ago Fergus had suggested they go for a longer hike, up into the trackless hills where the Landy couldn't reach. They would take collapsible rods, a couple of guns, and have to fish and shoot to eat. They could stay in the old lodge; it would save taking a tent.

So here they were, on the first floor of the old lodge, which was now used just as a bothy. The room they were in contained a single big dormer window, a fireplace, a couch, a table and two seats, and two bunkbeds. There were other rooms with more beds, but keeping to one room meant only lighting one fire; the autumn weather had turned chilly early.

No," Fergus said, looking up from where he lay, slumped against the couch. "But you don't mind me talking about Fiona like this, do you? I mean, your sister. My wife. You sure you don't mind, do you?"

"Positive."

"Good man."

"McCaig's Folly, eh?"

"Hmm? Oh; well yes… at least I think so. Got the idea from Charlotte, actually."

"What, your sister?"

"Mmm. The one that married that chap Walker, from Edinburgh."

"Oh yeah; I remember." Rory went over to the seat that held his jacket.

"Funny girl, Charlie; had this thing about… antiquity. Got Walker to deflower her under this ancient fucking yew tree in Perthshire. So she told me, anyway."

"Uh-huh." Rory rummaged in his jacket pockets.

"Fiona and I thought we'd try something like that, one time we were in Oban, for some do. You know; put a bit of sparkle back in… You sure you don't mind me talking about your sister like this?"

"Yeah." Rory took his tobacco tin from the jacket. He held the tin up. "As long as you don't mind me having a little smoke?"

"Not at all, not at all. Bloody cold it was, in that damn folly. Had to sit on a — Oh,'Fergus said, suddenly realising. "You mean the old wacky baccy."

Rory smiled, sat down. "That's the stuff."

"Not at all," Fergus said, waving one hand. "Go ahead." He watched carefully as Rory set out the papers. "Mmm, go ahead."

Rory looked up, saw Fergus's fascinated expression. "Do you want any of this, Fergus?"

"Umm," Fergus said, sitting back, blinking. "Could do, I suppose. Never really tried it, to be honest. Couple of chaps at the school got booted out for that stuff and I never did get round to it."

"Well, I'm not forcing you."

"Not at all. Not at all."

They smoked the joint. Fergus, used to the occasional cigar with his brandy now that he'd given up his pipe, pronounced the smoke quite cool, and objected more to the sweet taste of the Old Holborn than to the scent of resin.

"This any good for hanky-panky?" he said, passing the roach back to Rory, who took a last hot toke then flicked the remains into the heart of the fire.