Mingmei Yip - Petals from the Sky

Yi Kong looked up at the starry sky, then looked down around the moonlit garden before she continued. “What Revealing Mystery Shifu did certainly deserves the greatest respect. But we also need active, ‘entering the world’ nuns and monks to spread the Dharma and to carry out compassionate deeds.” She turned to search my eyes. “Our temple needs more open-minded, outgoing women to become nuns.”

Feeling an awkwardness crawling inside me, I looked down at the ground to avoid her gaze. A beat or two passed before I asked, “Shifu, why can’t lay people’s bodies attain imperishability after they die?”

Under the moonlight, Yi Kong’s nicely shaped bald head seemed to glow with enlightenment. “Because lay people are constantly bothered by worldly affairs. They can never concentrate as deeply in meditation as do people who belong to the religious order.”

I blurted out, “What about…someone like me? If I were to become a nun, could my body be imperishable after I die?”

Yi Kong shot me an intense look. “Possibly…but only if you become-”

Just then, a shout pierced the quiet of the garden like the twang of an arrow shooting through the air. “Shifu! Shifu! Oh, A Mi Tuo Fo !” It was the young nun Enlightened to Emptiness. She dashed into the garden, gasping, sobbing, and wiping her tears with her sleeve. She tripped over the stone lantern a few feet in front of us, and fell.

“What’s the matter?” Yi Kong dashed to her and helped her up. I hurried to both of them.

“Yi Kong Shifu…no good…no good…” She kept swallowing her own words. Yi Kong lightly touched her shoulder and said, her voice that of a concerned nurse, “Calm down and tell us what happened.”

Her face flushed, with some blotches of white, Enlightened to Emptiness spat out in one breath, “Wonderful Countenance Shifu tried to kill herself!”

Although Yi Kong’s voice sounded loud and sharp, her face stayed calm. “How did this happen?”

“I don’t know…”

“Let’s go to her now!” Yi Kong took my arm and the three of us dashed out of the garden and sped to Wonderful Countenance’s-Dai Nam’s-dormitory.

Nuns crowded the small room-milling around, talking, crying, yelling, passing Chinese medicinal oil, towels, a glass of water. Yi Kong spoke authoritatively: “Please step away and give Wonderful Countenance Shifu fresh air.” She turned to Enlightened to Emptiness. “Call the ambulance, quick!”

Dai Nam was lying on the floor. Next to her lay a rope, numb and stagnant like a lifeless snake. Shards, like miniature mountain snowcaps, were scattered everywhere. It was the ceramic Buddha knocked over from her altar. Dai Nam had tried to hang herself. The realization hit me so hard that I felt my heart lose balance and plunge over a precipice.

I jerked back, then asked a young novice, “How did this happen?”

She said, “A Shifu was passing Wonderful Countenance Shifu’s dormitory and heard a loud shattering sound. She knocked to ask what happened, but nobody answered, so she broke in. She found Wonderful Countenance Shifu hanging herself, so she immediately took her down.”

The young novice pointed to the heaps of shards on the floor and whispered into my ear, “Buddha sacrificed himself to save Shifu’s life.”

Yi Kong knelt beside Dai Nam. I went over to kneel next to them.

“Wonderful Countenance Shifu,” Yi Kong asked very gently, “are you all right?”

Dai Nam opened her mouth, but no words came, only the sound of forced air. The red, snakelike scar on her face writhed painfully as if it were freshly gutted.

“It’s all right now, and you’ll be fine.” Yi Kong pondered for a few moments before she asked, very softly, “But why?”

Dai Nam repeatedly shook her head while lifting her hand to wave us away, then she closed her eyes.

A nun found a piece of paper on the altar and handed it to Yi Kong. I craned over her shoulder to read.

Shifus,

At twenty-five, I took my vow to be vegetarian so as not to harm any sentient being nor consume any stimulant to hinder my cultivation. But today I broke the vow I’d kept for twenty years. A lay woman offered me a turnip cake, which I gladly accepted and ate. Later I found out there was garlic, one of the five stimulants, sprinkled in the cake.

In my whole life, I have tried very carefully to keep my vows and I am very proud that they have never been broken for twenty long years. Now I am ashamed of myself. My contaminated body should not continue in this life.

Your servant in the Dharma,

Wonderful Countenance

Yi Kong whispered into Dai Nam’s ear, “But, Wonderful Countenance Shifu, you didn’t know there was garlic in the cake…”

Right then the ambulance arrived. When the two ambulance men tried to take Dai Nam onto the stretcher, she frantically pushed them away. So finally several nuns had to take hold of the stretcher and move her into the ambulance. Then we all followed the van to the hospital. Except for Yi Kong, we were all made to wait outside the emergency room. After a long time, Yi Kong finally came out with a doctor. We all felt relieved when the doctor told us that Dai Nam’s life was not in danger. But to make sure that everything would be OK, she would have to stay in the hospital for observation.

The next day, I went early to Kwong Wah Hospital to see Dai Nam. Enlightened to Emptiness was feeding her from a bowl of congee when I entered the medicinal-smelling room.

Dai Nam spotted me instantly; a faint smile came over her face. I put down the fruit basket I’d brought her on the bedside chest and said very softly, as if she were now my child, “Shifu, I’ve brought you some grapes and juice.”

She nodded. Enlightened to Emptiness put down the bowl and came to whisper into my ear, “Miss Du, the doctor says due to Shifu’s throat constriction, she shouldn’t talk for a while.”

The young nun went back to feeding her. When finished, she helped Dai Nam lie down on the bed. None of us said anything until Dai Nam closed her eyes and fell asleep.

Enlightened to Emptiness lowered her voice. “Miss Du, you’ve missed Yi Kong Shifu. She and the others have just left.”

Just when I was about to inquire about Dai Nam’s condition, the doctor came in. He examined Dai Nam’s neck, listened to her breathe, then read and signed the chart. When we followed him outside the room, he said, “The patient has hemorrhage and edema of the larynx, so she shouldn’t talk or eat anything solid for a while.” He paused to adjust his glasses. “Besides, she’s still emotionally unstable, so watch out for her and avoid saying anything she has to answer.”

After the doctor had left, I asked the young nun, “Is Shifu still upset over eating that cake?”

“I suppose so.”

After a pause, I said, “I’m sure you must be very tired looking after Shifu, so why don’t you go outside to get some fresh air, food, and take a rest? I’ll stay with her.”

“You’re so nice, Miss Du. Thank you.” The young nun smiled and turned to walk out. I watched until her back disappeared down the stairs before I went back to Dai Nam’s room. The real reason I had told the young novice I would take her place was that I wanted to share some tranquil time alone with my friend.

But Dai Nam remained deeply asleep and so, when Enlightened to Emptiness returned, I left the hospital and took a bus to Golden Lotus Temple. I wanted to continue my unfinished discussion of the Golden Body with Yi Kong.

Yi Kong had just finished lunch and was looking at some pictures.

“Have some tea, Meng Ning,” she said after I’d sat down opposite her.

I took the cup she offered, then told her about my visit to Dai Nam. Yi Kong told me not to worry, for the doctor had assured her that Dai Nam would be fine.