Chris Cleave - Little Bee

“Nivver mind im. De white mens is all crazy.”

She sat down on the edge of the nearest bed and she took a dried pineapple slice out of her see-through plastic bag and she started to chew on it. I sat down next to her, while the sari girl took the girl with no name down the room a little way to lie down because she was still crying.

Albert had left the door open, and a few hens came in and began to look for food under the beds. The girl with no name screamed when she saw the hens coming into the building, and she pulled her knees close to her chest and held a pillow in front of her. She sat there with her wide eyes poking out over the top of the pillow, and her Dunlop Green Flash trainers sticking out underneath it.

“Re-LAX, darlin. Dey int gonna hurt yu, dey is only chickens, yu nah see it?”

Yevette sighed.

“Here we go again, huh Lil Bug?”

“Yes. Here we go again.”

“Dat girl in a bad way, huh?”

I looked over at the girl with no name. She was staring at Yevette and making the sign of the cross.

“Yes,” I said.

“Mebbe dis is de hardest part, now dey is lettin us out. In dat detention center dey was always tellin yu, do dis, do dat. No time to tink. But now dey all ovva sudden gone quiet, no? Dat dangerous, me tellin yu. Let all de bad memory come back.”

“You think that is why she is crying?”

“Me know it, darlin. We all gotta mind our heads now, truth.”

I shrugged and pulled my knees up to my chin.

“What do we do now, Yevette?”

“No idea, darlin. Yu ask me, dis gonna be our nummer one problem in dis country. Where me come from, we ain’t got no peace but we got a thousand rumors. Yu always got a whisper where yu can go for dis or dat. But here we got de opposite problem, Bug. We got peace but we ain’t got no in-fo-MAY-shun, you know what I’m sayin?”

I looked Yevette in the eyes.

“What is going on, Yevette? What is this trick you have done? How come they let us out of that place without papers?”

Yevette sighed.

“Me did a favor for one of dem immigration men, all right? He make a few changes on de computer, jus put a tick in de right box, yu know, an-POW!-up come de names for release. Yu, me an dem two other girls. Dem detention officers don’t be askin no questions. Dey jus see de names come up on dere computer screen dis morning and-BAM!-dey take yu from your room and dey show you de door. Dey don’t care if yore caseworker be dere to pick yu up or not. Dey too busy peekin at de titty-swingers in de newspaper, truth. So here we is. Free and ee-zee.”

“Except we don’t have papers.”

“Yeah. But I ain’t afraid.”

“I am afraid.”

“Don be.”

Yevette squeezed my hand and I smiled.

“Dat’s me girl.”

I looked around the room. The sari girl and the girl with no name, they were six beds farther along. I leaned in close to Yevette and I whispered to her.

“Do you know anyone in this country?”

“Sure, darlin. Williyam Shakespeare, Lady Diana, Battle of Britten. Me know dem all. Learned de names for me Citizenship Exam. Yu can test me.”

“No. I mean, do you know where you will go if we can get out of here?”

“Sure darlin. I got pipple in London. Got de half of Jamaica livin down on Cole Harbour Lane. Probly bitchin on how much dey vexed by all de Nye-Jirrians livin nex door. How bout yu? Yu got famly dere?”

I showed her the United Kingdom Driver’s License from my see-through plastic bag. It was a small plastic card with Andrew O’Rourke’s photo on it. Yevette held it up to look at it.

“What ting is dis?”

“It is a driving license. It has the man’s address on it. I am going to visit him.”

Yevette held the photo card close and stared at it. Then she held it far from her eyes and squinted down her nose at it. Then she looked up close again. She blinked.

“Dis is a white man, Lil Bug.”

“I know that.”

“Okay, okay, jus checkin. Jus establishin whether yu blind or stupid.”

I smiled but Yevette did not.

“We should stick together, darlin. Why yu no come to London wid me? For sure we gonna find some of your pipple down dere.”

“But I will not know them, Yevette. I will not know I can trust them.”

“What, and yu trust dis man?”

“I met him once.”

“Scuse me, Bug, but dis man don’t look like yo type.”

“I met him in my country.”

“What de hell was dis man’s business in Nye- Jirrya?”

“I met him on a beach.”

Yevette threw her head back and slapped her thighs.

“WU-ha-ha-ha-ha! Now me see. An dey tole me yu was a virgin!”

I shook my head.

“It was not like that.”

“Don tell me it wasn’t like dat, Lil Miss Sexy-Bug. Yu mus of done someting to de man, make him want to give yu dis vall-able dockerment.”

“His wife was there too, Yevette. She is a beautiful lady. She is called Sarah.”

“So why he give yu his driver license? His wife be so beautiful, he be tinking, Damn, me won’t be needin dis again, me lady so pretty I ain’t nivver gonna drive nowhere no more, me jus gonna sit home an stare at de wife?”

I looked away.

“What, den? Yu stole dis dockerment?”

“No.”

“What, den? What happen?”

“I cannot talk about it. It happened in another lifetime.”

“Mebbe yu bin spending too much time learnin yore fancy English, Lil Bug, cos dat is crazy talk. Yu only be livin one life, darlin. Don’t matter yu don’t uh- preshie -ate part of it, cos it don’t stop bein part of yu.”

I shrugged and I lay back on the bed and I watched the nearest chain dangling from the roof. Every link was joined to the one before and the one after. It was too strong for a girl like me to break. The whole chain swayed back and fro and it shone in the sun from the skylights. Like you could pull on the grown-up end and sooner or later you would get to the child, just like pulling a bucket out of a well. Like you would never be left holding a broken end, with nothing attached to it at all.

“It is hard for me to think about the day I met Andrew and Sarah, Yevette. Now I cannot decide if I should go to visit them or not.”

“So tell me all bout it, Bug. Me tell yu if dey sound good fo yu.”

“I do not want to talk about it with you, Yevette.”

Yevette put her fists on her hips and made her big eyes at me.

“Well get yu, lil miss Africa!”

I smiled.

“I am sure there are parts of your life you do not like to talk about, Yevette.”

“Only so yu no get jealous, Bug. Me tell yu some of de tings me done in me life of ease an luxury, yu be gettin yu self so jealous you gonna explode, and den Sari Girl over dere gonna have to mop up de mess, an she looks tired enough, yu ask me.”

“No, I am serious, Yevette. Do you talk about what happened to you, to make you come to the United Kingdom?”

Yevette stopped smiling.

“Nah. Me tell pipple what happen to me, dey ain’t nivver gonna believe it. Pipple tink Jamaica be all sunshine an ganja an Jah Rastafari. But it ain’t. Yu get on de wrong side of de politics, Bug, dey gonna make yu suffah. An dey gonna make yore famly suffah. An me don’t mean suffah, like no ice cream fo a week. Me mean suffah, like you wake up in you chillen’s blood, an suddenly yo house is very very quiet, fo ivver an ivver, amen.”

Yevette sat completely still and she looked down at her flip-flops. I put my hand on her hand. Above our heads the chains swung to and fro, and then Yevette sighed.

“But pipple nivver believe dat about me country.”

“So what did you tell the man from the Home Office?”