Julian Fellowes - Past Imperfect

‘Let’s get out of here,’ I said to Georgina and she nodded, but then two things happened. The first was that I could see Serena Gresham had climbed on to the stage with a dinner jacket, presumably Damian’s, which she was trying to wrap round him despite his protests. She also had his trousers over her arm but obviously that task was a bridge too far and she didn’t even attempt it. The second thing to catch at our attention was the sound of a police whistle, which echoed through the chamber like the shrill tolling of Doom. At once, what had already been chaos was transformed into a panicking stampede. It is easy now to think, almost calmly, of the notion of a drugs raid. In the forty years that have elapsed since these events, drugs themselves have ceased to seem extraordinary. Regrettable, I would hope, and something to be avoided for most of us even today, but no longer weird. In those days the vast majority of this crowd were strangers to the very notion. Whatever the impression that pop stars and Channel Four like to give of the Sixties, if their tales are true, which I often doubt, they were operating in a different world from my bunch. Obviously the bad boys among us were starting to experiment and by seven or eight years later a lot of us would have been introduced to the whole trendy culture of drugs and damn-it-all, but not by then. After all, most of what came to be called ‘the Sixties’ happened in the following decade. Yet here we were, debutantes and beaux, plus many of their mothers and fathers, in a full-scale drugs raid, which would provide, as we were only too aware, a perfectly wonderful story for the papers the following day. Out of family loyalty, if nothing else, all those nice, young sons and daughters of earls and viscounts, of high court judges and generals, of bankers and heads of corporations, had to get out of that room unseen and unapprehended, to stop their blameless daddies being soaked in the spray of public ridicule that was even then being loaded up, ready to flow. If the room had been on fire there couldn’t have been a more urgent dash for the door.

I too would have headed in the same direction as the crowd, but Georgina held me back. ‘It’s hopeless,’ she said. ‘They’ll be waiting for us on the pavement.’

‘Where, then?’

‘This way. There’ll be a service exit for the group. And the maids must have been bringing the drinks up from somewhere.’

Together we pushed against the crowd. I glimpsed Candida Finch, green-faced and at the end of her tether, leaning against the opposite wall but she was too far away for me to help her. Some girls were dancing a sort of reel, accompanying themselves with alternating screams, in the middle of the floor between us. Then Candida was swept away and I didn’t see her again. ‘This is a nightmare.’ Serena was nearly upon me when I realised who it was. She had an arm round Damian, who was still ranting and calling out to everyone to clap their hands. ‘I’ll clap your hands if you don’t shut up,’ she said, but it didn’t seem to have much effect. Damian fell, and others surged over him, until I really began to wonder if he would be seriously injured. ‘Help me get him up.’ Serena was down among the lunging feet and I knew I had to do my best. Together we managed to hook our arms under his and literally drag him to the edge of the room.

‘Why are you all right? Didn’t you eat any either?’

Serena wrinkled her nose. ‘I wasn’t hungry.’

‘Here we go!’ The enterprising Georgina had found a service door at the back behind a curtain that a few people, but not many, were taking advantage of. Behind us, the whistles and general shouting had increased in volume, and it was clear that those who had tried to leave in a more orthodox manner were being subjected to hideous humiliations before they were allowed to do so.

‘My God, the press is outside!’ This from Lucy, who had started down the main stair, only to make this unwelcome discovery and beat a retreat whence she had come. ‘If I get in the paper my father will kill me.’ It’s funny. We were so much more governed by these considerations than our equivalents are now.

Following our leader, Georgina, we came to a landing at the top of a stone, service staircase. Guests in various stages of dishevelment were hurrying down it. One girl broke her heel and fell the remainder of the second flight with a scream, but without pausing she scrambled up, tore the shoe off the other foot and plunged on. Unfortunately, Damian seemed to be getting worse. He had now ceased his requests for us to clap our hands and had decided instead simply to go to sleep. ‘I’m perfectly all right,’ he murmured, his chin sinking deeply into his chest. ‘I just need a little shut-eye and then I’ll be as right as rain.’ Down went his chin even further, followed by his eyelids, and he began to snore.

‘We’ll have to leave him,’ said Georgina. ‘They won’t kill him. He’ll just have his name taken, and a warning or something of the kind, and that’ll be the end of it.’

‘I’m not leaving him,’ said Serena. ‘Who knows what they’ll do? And what happens afterwards? If he has his name on a list at a drugs raid, he might never get a passport or a security rating or a job at an embassy or anything.’ This string of words, flooding out as they did, created a rather marvellous contrast to the life we were leading at that precise moment, cowering on a dingy, back stairway, on the run from the police. It conjured up images of embassy gatherings at which Damian would shine, and foreign travel and important work in the City. I found myself wishing that Serena had voiced such fragrant worries about my destiny.

But Georgina was unconvinced. ‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ she said. He’s not newsworthy. That’s the only thing we have to worry about. You’re a headline. She’s a headline. Even I’m worth a mention. He’s not. Leave him here to sleep it off. Maybe they won’t come up this far.’

‘I’m not leaving him,’ said Serena. ‘You go without us if you want.’

I remembered her defence of Damian at Dagmar’s ball, when she stood up for him alone and all the rest of us were silent. I decided I was not prepared for a repetition. ‘I’ll help,’ I said. ‘If we balance him between us we’ll manage.’ She looked at me. I could tell she was pretty grateful not to have been taken up on her suggestion of facing the Mongol hordes alone. So we did just as I said. Hoisting him up, and against a low chorus of Damian’s mumbled protests about just needing a little shuteye, the group of us somehow got him to the bottom of the stair. We hurried past the ground floor, since we could hear the shouted protests of indignant adults being stopped and questioned, as well as screams and yells and singing coming from the young. Eventually we found ourselves in a basement, searching for a door or window that would open.

We were alone, a little club against the world, in a very murky passage, when a side door opened and a girl stuck her head out. ‘There’s a window here that seems to lead out to an alley,’ she said and ducked back inside the room. I did not know her well. Her name was Charlotte Something and she ended up a countess, but I forget which one it was. Nevertheless, I shall always remember her with real gratitude. She had no obligation to come back and tell us of her useful find, instead of just climbing out and running for it. That kind of generosity, when there is nothing in it for the giver, is what always touches one most. Anyway, we followed her into what must have been a sort of cleaning cupboard because it was full of brushes and dusters and tins of polish, and sure enough there was an unbarred window, which had been forced open for what looked like the first time since the Armistice.