Nan Rossiter - The Gin and Chowder Club

“Because you must have filled the bird feeder before you hung them out to dry,” he said, laughing. “Now the birds have left you their calling card.”

Noelle’s heart started to beat again. “They didn’t!” She tried to sound annoyed. She had decided that the less she said, the better-at least until she felt reassured that Nate didn’t know something had happened. Deny it, s he told herself. Stare it down. The shadows of guilt will make you crazy if you’re not strong. Always deny. This sickening nausea will pass-it must pass. Think of other things. She wrung out the rag and backed farther across the floor. She knew that she must act normally, but she didn’t know what normal was anymore, so she would just keep busy.

“We’re having steak if you want to start the charcoal,” she said without looking up.

“Sounds good. Hey, did Asa finish the window?”

“Yes,” she said, his name ringing through her. “It’s not painted, though.”

“Well, now that I’m off, I can finish painting it. He has done enough.”

Noelle didn’t answer.

After his shower, Asa packed his cooler, told Sarah he would definitely be home for supper, kissed Martha on the head, and headed for the coast guard station. It was his last day of work. He couldn’t believe how quickly the summer had flown by. At the beginning of their summer break, he and Isaac had agreed to take the last full week of August off to relax and just go to the beach. Now Asa regretted it; every remaining day was fleeting and too precious to spend with his brother.

All day, he thought of nothing else. He needed to talk to Noelle, to be alone with her, to arrange to meet somewhere- anywhere . Working under the hot sun, he began to think that maybe he had only dreamed the events of the night before. He needed reassurance, he needed to know she was okay, to hear her say that nothing had changed. His mind began to race with an endless stream of tragic scenarios. He pictured Noelle confessing to Nate and promising to never see him again; he pictured her eyes full of pain and anger, telling him it was all a mistake, telling him to never come back. Tears burned at Asa’s eyes, and he brushed them away. Why was he doing this to himself? None of that had happened. He shook his head and tried to think of something else.

Isaac and Samuel returned from Boston early in the afternoon, and by the time Asa got home, Isaac had made plans for the weekend. Asa tried to excuse himself, but Isaac would have none of it. Finally, Asa decided that maybe it would be good to get his mind off things.

Isaac had rounded up the usual crowd. The itinerary for that night included a game they had made up two summers earlier. It was called Shot Mini-golf, and the rules were simple: Any golfer in the party who did not make par on any given hole had to drink a shot-discreetly, of course. If a player chose to take a mulligan, they also had to drink a shot. Mulligans were popular with everyone, and usually by the eighteenth hole, no one ever made par. Finally, if someone managed to get a hole in one on the last hole, a new bottle was produced and they played again. In the history of the game, Isaac had managed two hole in ones on the eighteenth hole, and when they woke the following morning, no one forgave him. Asa survived this Friday night without drinking any extra shots. And he had a good time, even though Isaac called him a wet blanket. Asa didn’t care because, by the end of the workday, he remembered that he still needed to finish painting the window and had devised a plan to pick up a small can of paint and stop by the house. This plan gave him renewed hope, and he didn’t want to be hungover.

Noelle didn’t sleep well. She lay quietly next to Nate as hot tears trickled down the sides of her face and dripped onto the curve of her ears. She wiped them away, eased to her side, and tried not to wake him, fearing that he would reach for her, and she just couldn’t bear it-not yet. Finally, she pulled a robe around her, went downstairs, and sat in the darkness on the porch. She thought of Asa and wondered how he was managing. And she wondered again why she had let it happen. Finally, she dozed off and didn’t wake until the first rays peeked over the dunes. She made coffee and showered. When she came back down, Nate was scrambling eggs.

“We need eggs,” he said. “I used the last four.”

“Okay,” she answered. “I’ll add them to my list.”

“Seems like you just got eggs.”

“I had eggs a couple times this week, and I made a cobbler,” she replied, pouring two cups of coffee.

“I see that. I’m glad you left some for me,” he replied teasingly, eyeing the small piece that was left. “Hey, Sam mentioned that they’re combining the last Gin and Chowder with Asa’s birthday. Do you have any ideas of what we could get for him?”

Noelle’s heart skipped a beat. “I don’t know… I’ll have to think about it.”

Nate looked over her shoulder at the sports page. “Damn, I forgot the Sox had a twi-night doubleheader against Baltimore tonight. That would’ve been fun.” He scooped the eggs onto two plates, buttered the toast, and set the plates on the table. “Hope you’re hungry.”

Asa was up early. He had not gone running in days, and it felt good to run hard. The prospect of seeing Noelle that afternoon propelled him forward. On and on he ran. He noticed a woman sitting in front of the Fo’c’sle when he passed and wondered who she was. She smiled and waved, and Asa waved back. On his return, Asa looked up at Nauset Light and imagined how the bluff must have looked when the Three Sisters had stood guard.

After a shower, Asa wolfed down some of his father’s blueberry pancakes, grabbed his hat, said something about painting, and was out the door before either parent could ask a question. He stopped at the hardware store, apprehensive about what lay ahead, anxious for the inevitable first moment to be over. After making his purchase, he got back in the truck, glanced at the quart of paint, and, without knowing why, took his hat off and dropped it on top of the can.

Nate was just getting ready to run some errands when he heard Asa’s footsteps. He pushed open the screen door.

“Well, look who’s here,” Nate said, smiling and holding the door open with one hand while reaching out to shake Asa’s hand with the other. Asa still had a bandage on his palm, and he winced slightly at Nate’s firm handshake. “We were just talking about you.”

“You were?” Asa asked with alarm.

Just then, Noelle appeared in the doorway and smiled warmly. “Yes, we were. We’ve been trying to figure out how much to pay you for all the work you’ve done.”

“Oh, well, I’ve been thinking… You really don’t need to pay me-”

“Nonsense!” Nate interrupted. “You’ve earned it. And besides, what would your father say if I didn’t pay you? All he talks about now is managing those two tuitions. Asa, did you happen to keep track of your time?”

“Well, I think it was about thirty-five hours in all, but I was hoping to finish painting the window today.”

“Fine… fine… thirty-five, and don’t worry about the window. I’m taking a few days off now, so I can finish it up. In fact, I was just heading out to get the paint.”

Asa stood there, his mind racing. The only words he heard were heading out. He glanced at Noelle. She was leaning against the door frame with her arms folded. She was barefoot and had on a sleeveless turquoise blouse, unbuttoned at the neck, and a white skirt. She felt his eyes undressing her and looked away.