Nan Rossiter - The Gin and Chowder Club

“What do you want?” she whispered.

The boy could not answer. Aching desire, as ancient as time itself, consumed him. His mind, his heart, his innocence swayed from balance. Finally, the man he didn’t yet know looked into her questioning eyes, and his answer was barely audible.

With hands still at her sides, Noelle pressed her slender body against him. She realized how aroused he was and immediately felt a tingling warmth between her legs. She slipped her hands under his shirt, and the book fell from Asa’s hands. He slowly pulled his damp shirt over his head and leaned back against the wall. He watched in stunned silence as she slowly undressed in front of him. Her body was tan, and he pictured her lying naked by the pool. She smiled gently as she reached for the button of his shorts. He looked down and watched her knowing hands unbuttoning, unzipping, touching him, teasing him. He wanted to touch her, too, but he was afraid to move, afraid that somehow the moment would end. He watched as she teased herself with his body, and he could barely hold on. She slowly guided him, and finally, trembling, he pulled her closer and pushed himself deeper. All at once he was amazed and confused and frightened by their intimate act. As a boy listening to stories of pirates and shipwrecks, he had innocently fallen asleep on this porch. Now, on a steamy summer afternoon years later, his boyhood was no more-and the peace of innocence would never be his again. Instead, he found intimacy and passion and jealousy for which he wanted no forgiveness.

Afternoon became evening. The storm passed, and the sky gave way to the last rays of the late-summer sun. Hours earlier, Asa had followed Noelle up the narrow stairs to the quiet bedroom whose silent walls already knew so many secrets. He lay beside her, and she watched his face while she played with his body. He searched her eyes and pulled her closer. He wanted to explore, tease, taste every part of her-and she let him. As the shadows in the room grew longer and played upon the walls, Asa learned the intimate secrets his body had longed to know.

At last, in the evening darkness, he gently eased himself off and lay beside her. He leaned over to softly kiss her, only to discover that her cheeks were wet with tears. The amazing happiness he felt was immediately shattered by fear. He leaned up on his elbow. “Why are you crying?” he whispered.

“Oh, Asa, I don’t know what I’ve gotten us into…”

“What do you mean, what you’ve gotten us into? You didn’t do it alone.”

“I should have known better. You are so sweet and so easy to love.”

“No, you are so easy to love. I have never felt this way before.”

“I know, but what do we do now… with what we’ve begun?”

“I don’t know…” He paused. “Are you ready to go again?” She laughed. “Hey, at least you’re laughing!” Asa’s stomach growled as he said this.

“Are you hungry?” she said, smiling.

“Well, a long time ago, someone promised me some peach cobbler.”

“And did you like it?” she teased.

“If that was peach cobbler, I want some more,” he said, kissing her neck and playfully rolling back on top of her. She laughed, and his stomach growled again.

“I think you need some real sustenance.”

“Oh, you’re all the sustenance I need,” he said, burying his face in her neck until she giggled.

“Hey! That tickles… and besides, I’m a little hungry too.”

“Well, in that case, I guess we can go have a little something.”

Asa rolled over and felt around for his shorts. Noelle turned on the light beside the bed, and Asa watched her. He was still astonished that this beautiful, unclothed woman had been lying beside him. He watched her look for something to put on. He saw her reach for a man’s shirt, and his heart stopped. She must have had the same thought because she quickly put it down and found a robe instead.

In the kitchen, Noelle turned on the stove light and opened the refrigerator. Without asking, she took out two beers and began rummaging around in the drawer for the opener. Smiling, Asa took the magnetic bottle opener off the freezer door and opened one of the bottles.

Noelle heard the sound and looked over. “I absolutely never remember that one.” She smiled. “And that reminds me-God, you’re not even old enough.”

“Well,” he began slowly as he stepped toward her, “you have to admit”-he reached out and pressed the icy bottle against her exposed skin-“I’m pretty mature for my age.”

Noelle tried to push the bottle away, but he pulled her closer so it was pressed between them. She laughed and he kissed her.

“Mmmm,” she murmured, “you are definitely mature.”

Asa backed away, grinning, leaving her holding the bottle.

“Hey, I make pretty mean scrambled eggs,” he said, changing the subject. “Are you interested?”

“Sure,” she said, surprised by the offer.

Asa opened the other beer, took a sip, opened the refrigerator, and took out eggs, butter, cheese, and milk. Noelle took out a frying pan, plates, utensils, and a bowl and then switched on the kitchen radio. Billie Holiday was singing the old Cole Porter classic “Let’s Do It, Let’s Fall in Love.” Noelle smiled and started singing along to the line about Cape Cod clams “doing it.”

Asa smiled and felt as if he had found his dearest friend.

They ate eggs and peach cobbler at the table in the corner of the porch with only the Christmas lights and a candle for light. A warm summer breeze drifted in off the ocean, but the oppressive humidity of the last few days was gone. They talked easily about other things, both clinging to the magic of what they had found, neither ready to face the tragic reality of what they had lost.

After the kitchen was cleaned up, Asa called home and told Sarah that his truck was stuck in a sand dune near Race Point. Sarah said she would come right out and pick him up, but he convinced her that he would be fine; he would just sleep in the truck and have it pulled out in the morning. After some back-and-forth, she reluctantly agreed. Asa hung up with a sad, sinking feeling. He had never lied to his mother before.

Noelle looked up from Asa’s notebook when he stepped out onto the porch. “These are wonderful,” she exclaimed.

Asa sat down next to her and looked to see which one she was reading. He didn’t say anything.

She noticed the serious look on his face. “Should you get going?”

“No, I told her the truck was stuck.”

“Oh.” She paused. “I wish you hadn’t…”

“Well… it’s done.”

They sat quietly together, yet, at the same time distantly apart, each realizing that eventually-somehow-they would both have to look into the eyes of loved ones… alone.

After a while, Noelle turned back to the notebook, and Asa watched her read. “These really are amazing,” she said. Finally, she closed the book and looked at him in wonder. “ You are a very talented poet!” She smiled and added, “And someday I’ll be able to say ‘I knew you when!’”

Asa laughed and teased, “You could also say you knew me when… in more ways than one.”

Noelle slipped her leg over Asa’s lap, and he put his hands on her hips and pulled her onto him. She studied his no-longer-innocent eyes and whispered, “Yes, I could even say I knew you intimately…”

“Mmmm,” he replied, “perhaps you’d like to know me intimately again, just to be sure…”

“Mmmm, I probably should-you know, just to be sure.”