Richard Brautigan - The Hawkline Monster - A Gothic Western

The monster obliged and fulfilled the function of a spoon. The shadow squirmed off the spoon when Cameron lifted the gravy from the serving bowl and it fell very awkwardly back into the bowl.

The shadow was very uncomfortable, almost sweating.

Cameron put the spoon back in the bowl and again disturbed the shadow which was now on the edge of panic. “How about you, Greer? You want some more of this good gravy?”

The Hawkline sisters were pleased that their gravy was getting such rave notices.

“No, Cameron. Good as it is, I’m just too full,” Greer said. “I think I’ll just sit here and watch you enjoy it. I like to watch a man eat who likes what he’s eating.”

The shadow thought that it was going to throw up.

After supper they retired to a front parlor leaving the Hawkline Monster dangling spoon-like in some gravy. There was a large painting of a nude woman on the parlor wall. Greer and Cameron looked at the painting.

The Hawkline Monster did not follow them into the parlor. It went downstairs to the laboratory to get some rest in The Chemicals. It was tired. So was its shadow. Supper had been very long for them.

“Our father was fond of naked women,” Miss Hawkline said.

Coffee was served in the parlor with snifters of cognac by the Hawkline sisters who looked even prettier if that were possible.

Greer and Cameron kept looking at the nude painting of the woman and then at the Hawkline sisters who knew what they were doing but acted as if they didn’t. They could have chosen a different parlor. They were excited by the situation. The only way they showed their excitement, though, was by a slight increase in their breathing.

“That’s 1 pretty painting,” Cameron said.

The sisters did not answer him.

They smiled instead.

Greer and Cameron while paying attention to the nude painting and the beauty of the Hawkline women had carefully gone over the entire room looking for the monster and it was not there.

They had a couple of cups of coffee and a couple of snifters of cognac as they waited to see if the monster would return but it didn’t and their appreciation of Hawkline beauty increased some.

“Who painted that painting?” Cameron said.

“It was painted in France years ago,” Miss Hawkline said.

“Whoever painted it sure knew how to paint,” Cameron said, staring at the Hawkline sister who had just answered him. She liked the way Cameron was staring at her.

“Yes, the artist is very famous.”

“Did you ever meet him?”

“No, he was dead years before I was born.”

“That’s a shame,” Cameron said.

“Isn’t it?” Miss Hawkline said.

The Hawkline Monster had returned to its jar of chemicals in the laboratory. It lay there in repose… strange sections of light not moving. These chemicals, the long and arduous work of Professor Hawkline, were the energy source, rejuvenation and place where the Hawkline Monster slept when it was tired, and while the monster slept, The Chemicals restored its power.

The shadow of the Hawkline Monster slept nearby. The shadow was dreaming. It was dreaming that it was the monster and the monster was it. It was a very pleasant dream for the shadow.

The shadow liked the idea of not being the shadow anymore but instead being the monster itself. The shadow did not like to sneak around all the time. It made the shadow nervous and unhappy. The shadow often cursed its fate and wished that The Chemicals had given it a better throw of the dice.

In the shadow’s dream it was the Hawkline Monster and occupying a bracelet on the wrist of one of the Hawkline sisters. It was very happy in the dream and trying to please her by making her bracelet shine more brightly.

The shadow did not approve of the monster’s tactics and was ashamed of the cruel things that the monster had inflicted upon the minds of the Hawkline sisters. The shadow could not understand why the monster did these things. If fate were reversed and the shadow changed into the monster, everything would be different around the house. These cruel jokes would come to an end and the monster’s energy would be directed to discovering and implementing new pleasures for the Hawkline sisters.

The shadow was very fond of them and hated to be a part of the monster’s sense of humor and wished only pleasure and good times for the Hawkline sisters instead of the evil pranks that the monster loved to play upon their bodies and their minds.

The shadow also strongly disapproved of what the monster had done to Professor Hawkline. It thought that the monster should have been loyal to him and not pulled such a diabolical prank on him.

The bracelet dream of the shadow suddenly dispelled itself and the shadow was wide awake. It stared down at the Hawkline Monster sleeping in The Chemicals. For the first time, the shadow realized how much it hated the monster and tried to think of ways to end its evil existence and take the energy of The Chemicals and change them into good.

The monster slept unsuspecting in the jar of chemicals.

The monster was tired from a day of evil deeds. It was so tired that it was snoring in The Chemicals.

It was now almost midnight and a Victorian clock was pushing Twentieth Century minutes toward twelve. Its ticking was loud and methodical as it devoured July 13, 1902. Greer and Cameron casually but very carefully examined the parlor again to see if the Hawkline Monster had returned. It hadn’t.

They of course did not know that it was sound asleep, snoring in a jar full of chemicals in the laboratory and they were all safe for the time being.

After they were certain that the monster was not about, Greer said to Cameron, “I think it’s time we told them.”

“Told us what?” Miss Hawkline said.

“About the monster,” Greer said.

“What about it?” Miss Hawkline said.

Her sister had turned her attention from a cup of hot coffee in her hand to intently waiting for the next words from Greer.

Greer searched his mind to find the right words and a simple, logical sequence to tell them in. He paused a little too long because what he had to say was so fantastic that he could not easily find a simple way to say it. Finally the right words found him.

“The monster’s not down in the ice caves,” Greer said. “It’s here in the house. It’s been all over the place today. It spent a couple of hours sitting around your necks.”

“What?” Miss Hawkline said, incredulously.

Her sister put her cup of coffee down.

They were both now in a state of amused shock.

“The monster’s some kind of strange light that moves around followed by a goofy shadow,” Greer said. “I don’t know exactly how it works but it works and we’re going to destroy it. We don’t think there’s anything in the ice caves that we’ve got to kill. The light has the power to change things and to think and it can get into minds and fuck ‘em around. Have either of you noticed the light and the shadow that follows it like a dog?”

The Hawkline sisters did not say anything. They turned and stared at each other.

“Well?” Greer said.

Finally a Miss Hawkline spoke, “It’s a strange light that moves around with a clumsy shadow following it?” she said.

“Yeah, we’ve seen it all over the place,” Greer said.

“It’s been moving around with us, dogging us. For a long time this evening it was right there in your necklaces. It left a while ago and hasn’t been back since.”

“What you’re describing is one of the properties of The Chemicals,” Miss Hawkline said. “There’s a strange light in the jar and a kind of swirly awkward shadow that stays near the light and follows it when it moves in the jar. The light is an advanced stage of The Chemicals. Our father told us before he disappeared that the light would eventually be changed into something that would be extremely beneficial for all mankind.”