Tony Ross - The Ice Monster

First published in Great Britain by

HarperCollins Children’s Books in 2018 HarperCollins Children’s Books is a division of HarperCollins Publishers Ltd, HarperCollins Publishers 1 London Bridge Street London SE1 9GF The HarperCollins website address is: www.harpercollins.co.uk Text copyright © David Walliams 2018 Illustrations copyright © Tony Ross 2018 Cover lettering of author’s name copyright © Quentin Blake 2010 David Walliams and Tony Ross assert the moral right to be identified as the author and illustrator of the work respectively. Cover design copyright © HarperCollins Publishers Ltd 2018 A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this eBook on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins Publishers. Source ISBN: 9780008164690 Ebook Edition © 2018 ISBN: 9780008164713 Version: 2018-10-31

Cover

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

Thank-Yous

The year is 1899

Map of London

Part 1: London 1899

Chapter 1: Cockroaches for Breakfast

Chapter 2: Monkey Feet

Chapter 3: Pong

Chapter 4: Expert Thief

Chapter 5: Universe of Wonder

Chapter 6: Giant Ghosts

Chapter 7: A Likely Story

Chapter 8: The Unnatural History Museum

Chapter 9: The Devil’s Work

Chapter 10: Hullabaloo

Chapter 11: Human Net

Chapter 12: Sabre-toothed Teeth

Chapter 13: A Sea of Old Men

Chapter 14: Dead as Dead Can Be

Chapter 15: Extinction Business

Chapter 16: Cheeks Ablaze

Chapter 17: Curious Creatures

Chapter 18: Darkest Dark

Chapter 19: Lightning in a Bottle

Chapter 20: Dark Fire

Chapter 21: A Thousand Silk Handkerchiefs

Chapter 22: The Beauty of the Scheme

Chapter 23: The Sticky Fingers Gang

Chapter 24: Handprints

Chapter 25: Pickpocketing on Ice

Chapter 26: A Little Problem

Chapter 27: Thundersnow

Chapter 28: A Giant Catapult

Chapter 29: Dino-ladder

Chapter 30: The Heart of the Storm

Chapter 31: Don’t Look Round

Chapter 32: Knocked Awake

Chapter 33: What’s in a Name?

Chapter 34: Cage

Chapter 35: Eternal Sleep

Chapter 36: Missing Mammoth

Chapter 37: Bang! Bang! Bang!

Chapter 38: A Slap on the Bottom

Chapter 39: An Unwelcome Sight

Chapter 40: Chocolate Balls

Chapter 41: Good Eye

Chapter 42: Back-door Barrage

Chapter 43: A Grave Mistake

Chapter 44: Right Up My Whatsit

Chapter 45: A Lidollop

Chapter 46: Bottom Explosion

Chapter 47: A New Comrade

Chapter 48: North, North, North

Chapter 49: Audacious

Chapter 50: Relic

Chapter 51: One Lonely Medal

Chapter 52: Rampage

Chapter 53: Danger Everywhere

Chapter 54: HMS Victory

Chapter 55: Black Silence

Chapter 56: Titch Stitch

Chapter 57: Revenge

Part 2: The High Seas

Chapter 58: Slicing Through the Ice

Chapter 59: A Diamond Dust of Stars

Chapter 60: Ships Ahoy!

Chapter 61: Open Fire!

Chapter 62: Down But Not Out

Chapter 63: Surrender!

Chapter 64: A Pool of Blood

Chapter 65: Hard Rain

Chapter 66: A Watery Grave

Chapter 67: Heads Bowed

Part 3: The North Pole

Chapter 68: Battered and Bruised

Chapter 69: Some Kind of Machine

Chapter 70: Behind You!

Chapter 71: Smothering to Death

Chapter 72: A Perfect Circle

Part 4: Home

Chapter 73: Headlines Across the World

Chapter 74: A Fleet of Carriages

Chapter 75: An Audience with the Queen

Chapter 76: The Bravest

Chapter 77: Never Forget

Chapter 78: Not a Day Goes By

Afterword

Notes on the Real Victorian World

Footnotes

More from the World of David Walliams

Also by David Walliams

About the Publisher

and we’re in Victorian London. Meet the characters in the story…

Elsie is a homeless orphan, who lives on the streets of London.

Dotty is the cleaning lady at the Natural History Museum. She is as daft as her brushes.

Private Thomas is Dotty’s boyfriend, the shortest soldier who ever served in the British Army. His fellow soldiers call him “Titch”. He is now retired, and lives at the Royal Hospital Chelsea, making him a “Chelsea Pensioner”.

Mrs Curdle is the nasty old boot who runs :Home for Unwanted Children.

Mr Clout is the brute of a security guard at the museum, infamous for his hobnailed boots.

Commissioner Barker is the fearsome head of the London Metropolitan Police, famous for his tiny moustache.

Many years ago, the Professor was the top scientist at the museum, until one of his experiments went catastrophically wrong.

Lady Buckshot is an aristocratic big-game hunter. Across Africa she shoots elephants, giraffes and lions and brings their bodies back to the museum to be stuffed and put on display.