Tony Ross - Bad Dad

Copyright

First published in

Great Britain by HarperCollins Children’s Books in 2017

HarperCollins Children’s Books is a division of HarperCollins Publishers Ltd, HarperCollins Publishers, 1 London Bridge Street, London SE1 9GF

The HarperCollins website address is:

www.harpercollins.co.uk

1

Text copyright © David Walliams 2017

David Walliams and Tony Ross assert the moral right to be identified as the author and illustrator of the work respectively.

Cover lettering of author’s name copyright © Quentin Blake 2017. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.

Illustrations copyright © Tony Ross 2017

Source ISBN: 9780008164652

Ebook Edition © NOVEMBER 2017 ISBN: 9780008164676

Version: 2017-11-09

Cover illustration copyright © Tony Ross 2017

Cover design copyright © HarperCollins Publishers Ltd 2017

Cover lettering of author’s name copyright © Quentin Blake 2010

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For more information visit: www.harpercollins.co.uk/green

HarperCollinsPublishers has made every reasonable effort to ensure that any picture content and written content in this ebook has been included or removed in accordance with the contractual and technological constraints in operation at the time of publication .

Dedication

Contents

Cover

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

Chapter 1: Roar!

Chapter 2: Out of Control

Chapter 3: Crushed in the Crash

Chapter 4: Hard-Faced Men

Chapter 5: Top Secret

Chapter 6: The Smell of Old Books

Chapter 7: Death by Poetry

Chapter 8: Flying Vicar

Chapter 9: One Job

Chapter 10: No Time to Breathe

Chapter 11: Two Wheels are Better than Four!

Chapter 12: Hurl!

Chapter 13: Slap! Slap! Slap!

Chapter 14: Promise

Chapter 15: Psalms and Ping-Pong

Chapter 16: All Bag and No Tea

Chapter 17: Splosh!

Chapter 18: De-Trouser

Chapter 19: A Warning

Chapter 20: Seven P

Chapter 21: Barf

Chapter 22: Trust

Chapter 23: Shopping Trolley

Chapter 24: Monsters of the Deep

Chapter 25: Boom!

Chapter 26: Hot Pursuit

Chapter 27: Goal!

Chapter 28: A Mighty Duel

Chapter 29: No Way Out

Chapter 30: Countdown

Chapter 31: Demolition Derby

Chapter 32: What Goes Up Must Come Down

Chapter 33: Sulk

Chapter 34: Crime Does Pay

Chapter 35: Champagne, Perfume and Hairspray

Chapter 36: Loot

Chapter 37: Bursting a Brain

Chapter 38: Stop!

Chapter 39: A Figure in the Shadows

Chapter 40: Empty Chairs

Chapter 41: Guilty

Chapter 42: No One Says No

Chapter 43: Pongy Cheese

Chapter 44: Sneeze Juice

Chapter 45: Masterplan

Chapter 46: A Riddle

Chapter 47: Where Did You Get That Goose?

Chapter 48: Wrongfoot

Chapter 49: Thwack!

Chapter 50: Seven Brothers

Chapter 51: A Graveyard for Cars

Chapter 52: Crusher

Chapter 53: Deep, Dark Dread

Chapter 54: Liar

Chapter 55: Wrinkly Bottom

Chapter 56: Mum With a Gun

Chapter 57: Fearsome Beasts

Chapter 58: Kill Two Birds With One Stone

Chapter 59: Overcooked Sausages

Chapter 60: Fury

Chapter 61: The Noise! The People!

Chapter 62: Gotcha, Gangsta!

Chapter 63: Rotten Fruit

Chapter 64: The Truth

Chapter 65: Frank Takes the Stage

Chapter 66: Not a Seat in the House

Chapter 67: Wish

Footnotes

More from the World of David Walliams

Also by David Walliams

About the Publisher

Dads come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. There are FATones and thin ones, tall ones and short ones. There are young ones and oldones, clever ones and stupid ones.

There are silly ones and seriousones, LOUD ones and quiet ones.

Of course there are good dads, and bad dads.

This is the story of a dad and his son.

Frankis the son.

Dad is the dad. His name is Gilbert.

This is Rita, Frank’s mum.

Auntie Flipis Dad’s aunt.

She babysits Frank sometimes.

Mr Bigis a surprisingly small crime boss. Whatever time of day it is, he wears silk pyjamas and a dressing gown, with velvet slippers monogrammed “Mr B”.

Mr Big has two henchmen, Fingers and Thumbs.

Fingersis so called for his long, thin fingers, perfect for picking pockets.

Thumbshas enormous thumbs that he uses to inflict terrible pain on Mr Big’s enemies.