Alaa Al Aswany - Chicago

The commercial was a great success and her fee was raised to $1,200 per hour of shooting. Soon afterward, Fernando offered her another commercial. “This time we will work on a more modest part of your body: your feet. The next commercial is about Double X socks.”

For a whole week Carol gave herself over to a pedicurist, who worked diligently for two hours every morning on her toenails and heels, and on scrubbing and softening her feet to make them look delicate and smooth. The result was so dazzling that Fernando shouted as he was doing the camera test, “What splendid feet worthy of a Roman emperor’s concubine!”

This time she had to raise her leg gracefully in front of the camera, point her toes like a ballet dancer, then coquettishly pause for a moment and put the socks on in a suggestive manner. After the commercial was broadcast, Fernando said to her, his face beaming with happiness, “Our success has become legendary! You’re quite an inspiration, Carol. You bring out the best in me.”

As usual he offered her something new. “The new commercial is different from all the previous ones.”

“What’s its idea?”

“Your fee will be raised to fifteen hundred dollars an hour.”

“Thanks. The idea?”

“It’s not conventional, but I won’t give it up. If you refuse to do it, I’ll have another model do it.”

“Talk, Fernando.”

“Okay. Double X has produced a brand-new bra model that’s totally see-through.”

He paused for a moment then continued gruffly, to hide his embarrassment, “The idea of the commercial is as follows: I will shoot your bare breasts, and you will be sexually aroused so I can shoot your nipples erect.”

“You’re such a bastard!” she shouted and got up angrily. She picked up her purse from the chair and hurried to the door. Fernando hurried after her and grabbed her by the arm, trying to calm her down.

“Carol, it’s much simpler than you imagine. Think about it for a bit. We’ve shot your bare breasts dozens of times. How would it hurt to shoot them erect?”

“I’ll never do that.”

He looked at her in vexation and said, “Listen, this is my last offer. I’ll pay you a special fee, two thousand dollars per hour. You’ll get this fee only for the commercials involving sexual arousal. In ordinary commercials, your fee will remain as it was.”

Carol looked at him in silence. It seemed that events were moving too fast for her to absorb. Fernando, sounding as if he wanted to end the meeting, said, “You have until the morning to think about it. The company is in a hurry to get the commercial and you have to give me a chance to get somebody else if you refuse.”

The following day Carol came, stood before him, and before he asked her, she mumbled without looking at his face, “Okay. When do we begin?”

Fernando laughed loudly and hugged her tightly, lifting her off the floor. “What a magnificent woman. If I were interested in women, I’d have done my best to seduce you. Come on, let’s get to work.”

She went with him to the studio and took off her clothes as usual. He spent a long time adjusting the lights and cameras. After several attempts he shot the part where she appeared bare chested. The harder part remained. He asked her to put on the bra, and he himself snapped it closed at the back, and then he stood her in the middle of the frame that he had prepared and said, “Carol, I’m going to help you get aroused. Don’t be embarrassed; I’ll touch you in a perfectly professional manner.”

He got close to her, put his hands through the bra, cupped her breasts with his hands, and began to knead them slowly. Then he took the nipples between his fingers and began to rub them gently. A whole minute passed without any response. He said, “It seems I’m not arousing you sufficiently. Should I go on?”

She didn’t answer. She stood where she was, looking at his hands stuck between the bra and her chest. He took out his hands and jumped behind the camera to make sure it was adjusted, and then went back and whispered to her, “I’ve prepared something to help you. Look at the screen.”

She noticed for the first time that he had placed a laptop on a nearby table. He pushed a button and she could see scenes from a pornographic movie: a white woman was sleeping with a black man and screaming with pleasure. Carol shouted, “Please turn it off.”

“What?”

“I can’t stand those movies.”

“Why?”

“Because they are phony and naive.”

“Do you have a problem with this?”

“I’m perfectly normal.”

He looked at her almost angrily and said, “Listen, I’ve got to do one or two shoots today. Don’t ruin my work.”

“Give me a chance. Let me be natural and I’ll do it.” He glanced at her uneasily. She whispered as she pushed him to stand behind the camera, “Go on, please.”

He dragged his feet like an unruly student kicked out by the teacher. Carol closed her eyes and began to recall her intimate moments with Graham, that burning pleasure that engulfed her when she was with him. Little by little she forgot her surroundings and got totally absorbed in the wonderful feeling that she was reliving. When she realized, somewhat vaguely and from a distance, that the lighting was getting more intense in front of her closed eyes, she ignored it and continued in her reverie until she came to as Fernando exclaimed while putting his hand on her bare shoulder, “Brava. A wonderful shot.”

Shooting took several sessions. Carol used the same method to arouse herself. The commercial was a great success. A few days later, Fernando invited her to dinner, and after two glasses of red wine added to the ever-present effect of marijuana, he started humming the old song “Oh, Carol,” then he said to her as his eyes gleamed with enthusiasm, “Where’ve you been all this time?”

“It’s all thanks to your talent.”

Fernando looked at her for a little while, as if reluctant to speak. Then he said with a childlike spontaneity that she liked, “The owner of the company would like to meet you.”

“Really?”

“Your guardian angel is working with extraordinary efficiency. This meeting might change your life. It’s Henry Davis, owner of Double X, one of the wealthiest people in America. Do you know that I’ve never met him? I’ve asked to meet him more than once, but they’ve always had all kinds of excuses.”

“In my case it’s different. You want to meet him but he refuses; he wants to meet me but I don’t know if I’ll say yes or no,” she said in jest, but he didn’t laugh.

He looked her in the eye and said in a serious tone, “I hope you appreciate my honesty. Someone else in my place would never have let you meet the company owner before signing an exclusive contract with you.”

“I appreciate all you’ve done for me.”

“You have to prove that. I’ll give you Henry Davis’s office number to schedule an appointment with him. In return, you will not sign a contract with him before getting back to me.”

“I’ll do that.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“It’s Salah, Zeinab.”

His breathing was painful. His voice sounded strange to his own ears, as if it were someone else’s.

It was as though, after a thirty-year separation, he had suddenly seen her in the street and kept running after her until he caught up with her. How strange it all was. He could not believe that he was talking to her, as if he had not been absent for a whole lifetime, as if he had not longed for her a thousand times and cursed her a thousand times. His voice meant much more than his actual words: “It’s Salah, Zeinab.” His voice was really saying: Do you remember me? It’s Salah who loved you as no one has loved you. When I lost you, Zeinab, I lost my life. Thirty years I’ve lived, lost, away from you. I’ve tried and failed, Zeinab, and here I am coming back to you.