Peter Matthiessen - Shadow Country

Mama said Papa had bizness in Oregon and might be gone awhile. Oh we were so cold and hungry in those years. But finely our cousins sent some money for our rail tickets back to Fort White Florida. We stayed almost a year with Granny Ellen Watson and Aunt Minnie Collins.

That darn old Rob has acted mean about coming to see Papa. He made Mama admit she wrote to Papa and that Papa never sent for us until she did that. Probably has another woman now is what Rob told her. Its bad enough Rob is rude about our Papa but hes also rude to Mama reminding her every two minnits that shes not his real mother so he doesnt have to mind her less he feels like it. And Mama says clamly I may not be your mother Rob but Im the best youve got. Just goes on about her busyness leaving Rob looking kind of twisted up and funny. One time Rob caught me looking at his tears and raised his fist to me. Scowled something terrible but never said one word.

Rob passes for hansom with his black hair and black brows and fair white skin with round red blushes on his cheekbone that jump out on his skin like dots of blood when hes upset. From Papa he got those blue blue eyes like the highest heaven where blue comes from. Blue eyes with black hair are not comon Mama says. Papa is so weather browned and ruddy that his blush dont hardly show. His blushes arent so comon either Mama says.

Lucius has Papas blue eyes too-what Granny Ellen in Fort White called crazy Watson eyes. He will be the tall one. Eddie takes after Papa more same dark redish chesnut hair that turns gold brown in summer, but his hole demeener Mama says is very diferent. He has Papas fire color she says but his flame needs a good stoking.

I was first to see the sail white as a wing way down toward the mouth of the Peace River. We had never seen a sail before! I wanted to run right over to the landing but Mama said Wait till we know for sure its Mister Watson.

Soon the sail was so near that when the boat turned toward us we heard the canvas rumpus in the breeze. Mama said Just in case thats Mister Watson wed best stand up sos he can see us and not make him go over there to that hotel for nothing. So we stood up in a line outside the deepo all but Rob who was slowched off to one side. Rob wanted to make it plain as plain that he had no part in this hole dumb plan of accepting Papas charity down in south Florida.

It was pretty close to noon there was no shade and we stood in the hot wind watching as two figures walked toward us. In the glare they looked like two black insects a thick one and a thin one kind of shimering on the white sand flat. When I reconized Papa I cried out because I wanted to run to meet him but Mama only shook her head. We just stood there stiff as sticks. Here come our long lost Papa and nobody calling and nobody smiling! I started to cry.

Mister Watson was dressed in a linen suit string tie and black boots glissening and big mustash and sideburns. Stopped a few yards away took off his black Western hat and made a little bow. Nobody made a move nor spoke a word. Im sorry we are late he said after a look at a gold watch on a chain. Rough wether on the gulff. His voice was deep and pleasant kind of gruff but he looked real glad to see this gloomy bunch saying My O My with a big smile for us four frights in our stupid line that dared to call ourselves his family. He kept his hat off but he came no closer so as not to scare us.

I could see Mama yerning to smile back. The new rose bonnet she had scrimped for saying over and over how buying it was a disgraseful waste cause who knows she might never wear it again-that pesky hat had tilted and gone lopsided like it was melting. Poor Mama never even noticed thats how wore out the poor thing was from no sleep and bad nerves. Her red hands she was so ashamed of were clenched white at her waist and her elegant face so pale and peaked broke my heart.

Papa said Well Mrs. Watson thats a fine looking family you have there!

Mama nodded being too upset to speak. The best she could do was give a smile to the strange boy who came with Papa and looked just as shy and scarred as all the rest of us. He was skinny and brown hair near white from the hot sun and very long legs in outgrown pants which came to a stop high above his long bare feet. Probably no underware which I admit is none of my fool bizniss.

I gave this boy a suden smile that scarred the daylites out of him. Went tomato red frowned something terible looked up at the sky serching for birds then faced away from us trying to whissle.

Finely Papa stepped across the space holding both hands out to Mama.

I saw her hands how the poor fingers started up then quit and clutched each other and how Papas hands were closing. All four hands were quitting. Someone had to do something. I let out a yip and darted forward threw my arms around our Papa and hung on for dear life. He was hard as any tree. I felt him gazing at Mama over the top of my red ribbon bow. Then he let out a breath and put his arms around me but was too shy to hug his very own daughter.

When I turned around Mama was smiling a beautiful smile kind of crooked but full of hope. I never saw such a deer expresion on that lonesome face. Her smile was a signal to the boys to run and jump on Papa the way fool boys do for the pure heck of it. Mama was covering up her tears by scolding them for rinkling his linen suit but he was happy Papa Bear woofing and rolling around just like he used to. Thretened to run off into the woods with a hole armlode of kids that he wood eat up later in his cave. Eddie was screching due to nervous fright but little Lucius only six was quiet. He let himself be bounced and tossed turning his head sos to watch Mama over his Daddys shoulder and make sure she didnt run away and leve him.

That darn Rob never budged one inch from where he was. Kept his hands in his hip pockets giving Papa his worst serly stare and making the hole family look at his bad maners and his old curled lip. But Rob could not meet Papas eye so he jerked his chin at the strange boy as if to say You better keep your durn eyes to yourself or Ill punch your nose off.

Mama warned him. Just a murmur. Rob?

Papa put the small ones down then stratened his coat up kind of slow. Well son he said and stepped forward to shake hands. Oh how that scared us knowing Rob was going to refuse! But Papa had gessed what Rob would do and he was reddy. Kept his hand out there maybe half a minute till Rob terned red and that serly stare fell all apart and he shot a despert look over at Mama.

Then Rob came out with that braking voice he had since Arkansas where he first grew that pathetical mustash to go with all his hickeys. How come you run off? Never left word and never sent for us? Never would of neither if your wife hadn’t come crawling! But that durn fool stopped short rite there because Papas fist flew up and back cocked like a pistol hammer.

Mama cried Mister Watson please hes just upset he means no harm! Those were her first words to her husband in five years.

He brought his arm down and he spoke real quiet. I have some explaining to do that is correct boy and I aim to do that when Im ready. But next time you speak about your mother in that way you better be mighty careful I dont hear you.

Rob had scarred himself. He backed up set to run. She aint my mother!

Papa said in fury Sonborn you are dam lucky to have her!

He turned away and jerked his chin toward the lanky boy with the bare feet. This young feller here is Erksin Tomsin. Hes going to make me a fine schooner captain. Erksin I have the honor to present Mrs. Jane Watson. She is a school teacher and I hope she will see to your further education and mine too. This beautiful young lady is Miss Carrie Watson and these fine fellows are Eddie and Lucius.