Jenny Downham - You Against Me

‘We’ll practise, Ellie – all the answers to questions you might be asked in court. When you get in from school, after you’ve done your homework, we’ll go over it. Or we’ll get up early and rehearse before breakfast, whatever suits you best. We’ll think about clothes too, get you an outfit you feel comfortable in and some shoes as well. By the time the court date comes around, you’re going to feel so confident that today will seem like a distant memory.’

She sipped her hot chocolate and listened to him. Mum and Tom joined in discussing the plan, full of ideas, their voices knitting together. Outside, rain battered softly against the windows. She thought briefly of Mikey, wondered if he was home yet, if he was safe, but then she pushed the thought of him away.

Everyone was smiling at her now. The blanket was soft around her shoulders, her knees curled warm beneath it, her slippered feet pulled up onto the chair. She was a little girl again, their little girl.

She must have a shower before bed. She’d use plenty of soap. She’d wash her hair, brush her teeth, rinse with mouthwash and use floss. She’d bury Mikey’s lighter in the garden first thing in the morning. She’d get rid of all the evidence.

Mikey knew something was wrong as soon as he walked into the lounge. Jacko was sitting in the armchair with a fag and a cup of tea, and Jacko was never there, not without Mikey. Karyn and Mum were huddled together on the sofa opposite, and all three of them looked up at Mikey as if the world had just ended and it was all his fault.

‘What?’ he said. ‘What did I do?’

Karyn did a fake laugh. ‘Like you don’t know.’

Mum said, ‘Let me handle this. I thought we agreed.’

Mikey clocked the wine glass on the table in front of her, the ashtray tipping with fag ends. He perched on the arm of Jacko’s chair and waited. Something big was happening – his mum never took charge when she’d been drinking.

She glared at him. ‘Why didn’t you go to work?’

‘Is that what this is about? Did I get sacked?’

‘I hope so,’ Karyn spat.

Mum put a hand on her arm. ‘Where have you been all day, Mikey?’

‘Different places. Out and about.’

‘Who with?’

‘Does it matter?’ He turned to Jacko. ‘What is this?’

Jacko shrugged, looked down at his feet.

‘Will someone tell me what’s going on?’

‘I’ll tell you,’ Karyn said. ‘You’ve got yourself a posh little girlfriend, that’s what. Jacko’s been filling us in.’

A pulse banged in Mikey’s head. ‘What are you talking about?’

‘I’m talking about your latest shag – Ellie Parker.’

Like her name was a cheap thing and sleeping with her meant nothing. Like special things could be chucked out like that.

‘Shut up, Karyn.’

‘So it is true.’ She shot out of her seat and flung herself at him. ‘How could you? With her!’

She thumped him on the arm again and again. He had to grab her wrists to stop her, had to push her back to the sofa and shove her down.

His mother’s face darkened with fury. ‘Don’t you dare lay a finger on your sister, Mikey.’

‘Then tell her to shut up. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about.’

‘You stupid boy!’ Mum waved her hands at him as if to say, We all know you’re guilty and I don’t want to hear any more about it .

Karyn started to wail. ‘How could he? He doesn’t care about me at all.’ Her whole face turned to tears right in front of their eyes.

Mum clutched her, whispered into her hair. ‘Karyn, love, you’re making me cry now. Let’s find out exactly what happened before we go getting so upset.’

Mikey kicked Jacko’s foot and made him look at him. For a second they were alone in a room with a couple of hysterical women and they both understood it was harsh and desperate.

‘See what you’ve done?’ Mikey said.

A look crossed Jacko’s face, like maybe he was sorry. ‘I didn’t have a choice.’

‘Bullshit.’

‘I wouldn’t’ve been the only one who saw you on that bus, Mikey. What if some random kid texted Karyn about it? Someone had to tell her properly.’

‘And that was you, was it?’ Mikey grabbed him by his jacket and hauled him out of the chair. ‘This is my flat, do you want to get out of my flat?’

‘Leave him alone,’ Mum yelled.

‘I don’t want him here!’ He jostled Jacko towards the door, heard a satisfying rip as the material of his jacket shredded under his fingers. ‘Get out. Go on, get out.’

‘I said leave him alone !’ Mum roared. She stood in the middle of the lounge, hands on hips. She was swaying slightly, but she sounded like she meant business. ‘Take your hands off Jacko, sit down and shut up, Mikey, because I swear if you wake Holly up and she gets brought into this, I will never forgive you.’

By the look on her face, she wasn’t going to forgive him anyway, but he sat down in Jacko’s empty chair. At least the bastard would have to stand up.

‘Jacko’s our guest,’ Mum said. ‘He’s been sitting here with us for two hours waiting for you.’

‘Three,’ Jacko said, ‘actually.’

‘Sorry,’ Mum said. ‘You’ve been good to us, Jacko. I can’t thank you enough.’

‘Yeah, what a great guy,’ Mikey said brightly. ‘Always there when you need him.’

‘That’s enough,’ Mum said. ‘At least he was thinking about Karyn in all this, which is more than I can say for you.’ She looked at him like he was a total let-down and she’d been expecting this moment all her life. ‘Couldn’t you have kept it in your pants for once?’

What was he supposed to say to that? Shame flooded his face and there was nowhere to look except down at his feet.

‘Jacko,’ Mum said, ‘any chance you could stick the kettle on and make Karyn some more tea?’

He nodded, went straight to the kitchen. What a suck-up. Mum poured herself another wine, emptied the bottle out and still only got half a glass. She frowned as if she couldn’t believe she’d finished the lot, then knocked it back in two great gulps.

‘Should you be doing that?’ Mikey said.

Karyn made a face like she wanted to hit him again. ‘You’re such a tosser.’

‘I’m only asking. Did you drink that whole bottle tonight, Mum?’

‘Actually,’ Mum said, ‘you don’t get to ask me questions. You’re the one in the hot seat, not me.’ She plonked her glass down. ‘Now tell me about this girl. I want to know exactly what you think you’re playing at.’

She folded her arms, waiting for an answer. Karyn leaned back on the sofa and looked at him too. Even Jacko stopped clattering tea things in the kitchen to listen. But there was nothing Mikey could say that would make them feel better. They’d want details, like when and where, and all he could think of was Ellie’s smile, her shyness, how many crazy things she knew, and the fact that she was so good at listening that when words came out of his mouth, they made sense. And the smell of her – he’d never met anyone who smelled so entirely of themselves, even her clothes just smelled clean, not of some crappy washing powder or perfume.

‘Come on,’ Mum said. ‘Get on with it.’

He shrugged. ‘I’ve got nothing to say.’

‘Well, I better fill everyone in then,’ Karyn said. ‘She’s an ugly nerd.’

Mikey shook his head. ‘You don’t know even know her.’

‘I know she’s a nerd.’

‘Oh for God’s sake!’ Mum said.

She passed her fags round, like that would calm them down. The tea came in. Mikey enjoyed the silence while it lasted.

Karyn was first to break it. ‘Nice tea, Jacko, thanks.’