Jenny Downham - You Against Me

‘She’s very young,’ Mum whispered. ‘You reckon those two boys have different fathers?’

‘They’re not brothers.’

‘They might be. How do you know?’

Ellie didn’t even bother replying. Her heart stirred with softness for Mikey as he helped his mum to a seat and encouraged her to take off her jacket. She looked very nervous as her eyes darted about the place.

Mikey’s gaze swept the room as he took his own coat off. He clocked Tom, Dad and the solicitor, their heads bent together, locked in last-minute discussions. Then he saw Ellie and it was like an invisible electric wire joined them across the room. She turned away quickly and focused her attention on the high window above the judge’s bench. There was a line of grey cloud shifting across the sky. Under her chair, she crossed her feet, uncrossed them, recrossed them.

Mum nudged her again. ‘Here we go. Here’s the judge.’

The usher cried, ‘Court rise.’ And everyone stood up as the judge came in from a side door. He had a better wig than the barristers and was wearing a black and purple robe. He sat behind a long bench under a heraldic sign and everyone was told to sit down again. The usher sat below at a small desk and the barristers faced the judge with their laptops and their files of paper.

Ellie found it hard to concentrate, hard to focus. Mikey was behind her, three rows back on the other side of the aisle. The bride’s side.

The barristers took it in turns to stand up and talk to the judge. They talked about statements on which the prosecution were relying and material that might benefit the defence. Legal jargon was tossed back and forth, and the crowd leaned forward, trying to make sense of it.

Was Mikey looking at her? How much of her could he see from where he was sitting? The back of her neck? Her shoulders?

On and on the barristers went, and just as people started to shuffle their feet and Ellie began to hope that Barry was right and people would get bored and go home, Tom was asked to go and stand in the dock. The crowd pressed forward in their chairs.

The dock was to the side of the barristers, a semi-partitioned area with steps up to it. When Tom stood there in his best suit, everyone could see his face. He looked paler than he had in the car, and very scared.

The judge said, ‘Is your name Thomas Alexander Parker?’

‘Yes, it is.’ He sounded young, his voice achingly familiar.

The judge read out his date of birth and then his address. He even included the postcode. The room seemed to tilt as he read the charge out. The words sexual assault echoed inside Ellie’s head. Tom was asked if he understood what he’d been accused of doing.

‘Yes,’ he said, ‘I do.’

Like a vow.

‘And how do you plead? Guilty or not guilty?’

Ellie could feel her own heart beating, her brain ticking, as the room slowed down. He could refuse to plead. He could plead insanity. He could say he did it.

‘Not guilty.’

A babble of objections broke out across the room, as well as a spattering of applause. Some of Tom’s friends must have come in, because a boy yelled, ‘You tell ‘em, mate!’ The judge banged his little hammer and asked for quiet.

In the fuss, Ellie stole a look at Mikey.

He was staring at the floor as if he’d given up. Her whole body felt cold looking at him. Mikey loved his sister, that’s why he’d tried to help her. He loved his mother too – see how he put his arm round her, see how she leaned in to him? He’d do anything for them, probably – isn’t that what people in families did for each other? Isn’t that what Tom was always telling her? But now Mikey would have to go home and tell Karyn that in a few short weeks, she’d have to leave the flat and come to court and talk about what happened. Her life would be taken apart and examined by strangers, and anyone could come and watch.

Not guilty.

The words repeated inside Ellie’s head. Every time she blinked she saw them flare.

Mikey was making coffee in the kitchen and spying on Karyn and Jacko at the same time. He didn’t want to be making coffee, he wanted to be in the car on his way to work, but Mum had bolted upstairs as soon as they’d got back from court and he knew caffeine was the best way to entice her down.

Karyn was curling her hair over and over one finger and listening intently to Jacko as he told her he’d called Tom Parker a wanker from the crown court steps.

‘We all booed as he came out,’ Jacko said. ‘He put a coat over his head, he was so ashamed. There were loads of people on your side. Lots of your mates from school were there.’

‘I should text them,’ Karyn said. ‘I’ve been a bit crap about that. Sometimes it’s hard to believe everyone hasn’t forgotten about me.’

‘Forgotten you? No, girl, we’re here for you.’ Jacko rabbit-punched the air with his fists. ‘Trouble is, the courts are full of bullshit. They should’ve left it to the masses. We’d have lynched him in the car park and hung him from a tree.’

‘Bad idea,’ Karyn said. ‘Look what happened to Mikey when he got too close.’

Mikey scowled at her. ‘What’re you talking about? I landed plenty of punches.’

‘You were trying to make yourself feel better.’

First she’d told Gillian about the fight, now she was mocking him in front of his best mate. He was astonished at how ungrateful she was.

‘You came home looking like a horror film,’ Karyn went on. ‘How did that help anyone?’

She shook her head at him like a disappointed parent.

‘He went solo, that’s why,’ Jacko said.

‘Yeah, forgot to take the brains with him.’ She leaned across and tapped Jacko’s head with a finger, which made them both laugh.

They were really beginning to get on Mikey’s nerves. Here he was making the drinks, and neither of them offered to do anything. They should be tidying up instead of sitting there. The table was crowded with stuff – ashtrays, coffee cups, plates from the scrambled egg earlier, a glass with scummy white lines from Holly’s milk. The whole room smelled faintly mouldy, like something was festering. Mikey knew this would all look the same when he came home from work tonight. He also knew that something had shifted in Jacko, something he didn’t quite understand. As Jacko riffed on about court, it was like he was suddenly in charge. It never used to be that way round.

‘The sister nearly fainted,’ Jacko said. ‘She had to be led out by her mum. They sat her on a wall and fanned her with a newspaper.’

‘Ellie Parker, you mean?’

‘Yeah, that’s it.’

‘She was in the house the night it happened,’ Karyn said, ‘and now she’s pretending not to know anything. I told you about her, didn’t I, Mikey?’

Mikey nodded as he fiddled about with sugar and spoons. Ellie’s name sounded very loud from where he was standing.

‘I remember more and more,’ Karyn said to Jacko. ‘I spoke to her a few times that night. She even got me a bucket in case I was sick, but on her statement she said she was asleep the whole time.’

Jacko frowned. ‘Shouldn’t you tell the cops?’

‘I did, but they say it’s not enough – just my word against hers. And she’s hardly going to grass her brother up, is she?’

‘You hungry?’ Mikey asked her, desperate to change the subject. ‘Did you eat anything when we were gone?’

‘Not really.’

Jacko shook his head at her disapprovingly, like he was the chef. ‘You should eat properly,’ he said. ‘Mikey told me you’re not looking after yourself.’

‘Did he?’ Karyn glared at Mikey as he stirred milk into the coffee. Great, another reason to sulk with him.