Jenny Downham - You Against Me

He tried not to listen as she told the girls one of her mad London stories about a bloke called Vivian who was married with three kids and forgot to mention that fact when he gave Mum a ring from the Argos catalogue and asked her to marry him.

‘Humiliating,’ Mum said, as the girls sympathized. ‘I was only seventeen. Maybe that’s what put me off men for life.’

‘I like men,’ Holly said.

Karyn shook her head. ‘No you don’t.’

‘I do. They’re good at cooking.’

Mikey shot her a grateful smile.

‘Cooking’s not the point,’ Karyn growled. ‘Men are like animals, Holly. Think of dogs. No, think of apes.’

‘I like apes.’

‘Yeah, but you wouldn’t want to marry one.’

They all fell about laughing. Charming. Bloody brilliant. Even Holly was turning against him.

Gillian turned up when he was serving the eggs, and even though Mum didn’t want any and Karyn would probably only pick at hers, it looked impressive. He wanted to say, Told you I could manage. He wanted her to notice Holly’s brushed hair and clean school shirt, but all Gillian had eyes for was the bruise on his face. She came right up and peered at him like a doctor.

‘I heard about this,’ she said.

‘It looks worse than it is.’

‘Still, that’s quite a shiner. Over two weeks ago, wasn’t it? And you’ve still got all colours there.’

Mikey glared at Karyn, because she shouldn’t’ve opened her gob. He knew she wouldn’t grass who the fight was with, because they’d agreed not to tell anyone except Jacko, and she didn’t even know the bit about Ellie being there. But he’d bet any money she’d told Gillian he’d lost. He wondered if the cop wrote it in her case notes – Family lacks male role model. Eldest son a wimp.

‘I like his bruise,’ Holly said. ‘It’s pretty.’

‘Pretty stupid,’ Mum cut in. ‘He went out on a date and came home covered in blood. Wouldn’t tell me anything about it, except the girl already had a boyfriend. You’d think he’d bother finding that out first, wouldn’t you?’

He scowled at his mother. She should be thanking him for waking her up, running her bath and hiding the booze. Of course she was nervous on a day like today, but that didn’t mean she could take it out on him.

‘Any chance of a tea?’ Gillian asked as she took off her jacket.

Blimey, even she was treating him like slave boy now. He banged the kettle about, so she’d know he wasn’t a total pushover, then sent Holly off to get her coat and book bag. Emphasized book bag, so Gillian would know he was on to that too. Weird to see Karyn shove up on the sofa to let this woman sit down. Only a few weeks ago she didn’t like her, but now she gave her a big smile and offered her a piece of toast.

‘Karyn’s feeling a bit nervous,’ Mum told the cop. ‘So it’s great you could come.’

Gillian nodded sympathetically. ‘I’m happy to. I’ll stay with her until you get back. I can answer any questions she has and we’ll get a phone call as soon as we hear how he pleads.’ She turned to Karyn, patted her hand. ‘You’ll be first to know, all right?’

Karyn nodded. ‘He’s not going to say he did it though, is he?’

‘I’m sorry, darling, but he probably won’t. We’ll keep positive though, eh? We can’t know for sure until it’s over.’

Mikey plonked her tea down – milk, no sugar, just how she liked it. ‘Biscuit?’ he said, because they had some.

‘No, ta.’ She smiled up at him. ‘Are you taking Holly to school now?’

‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘And you know what? She hasn’t missed a day since we spoke.’

She nodded, looked impressed.

The school run was the best thing about the last three weeks. Everything else was utter crap, but getting up early and getting Holly in on time had become a challenge. He was good at it too. She’d only been late twice, and then only slightly late.

Holly came bouncing back in with her coat on and did the rounds of hugs and kisses.

‘I’m coming back for Mum after,’ Mikey told Gillian. ‘I changed shifts at work and my mate’s taking us in his car. The bus to Norwich takes too long.’

‘I don’t know what I’d do without him,’ Mum said. ‘Seriously, he’s a diamond.’

She sounded like she meant it, which was nice.

Holly ended up next to Mikey, her hand curled into his. He liked that. ‘I’ll be back in fifteen,’ he told them all.

‘Well done, Mikey,’ Gillian said.

Even Karyn gave him a fond wave.

Result! He led Holly to the door and got out of there before the balance tipped the other way again.

‘I can’t do this.’ Tom’s voice was ragged and seemed to come from far away, even though he was sitting right next to Ellie in the back of the car.

Dad turned in the driver’s seat. ‘You can,’ he said, ‘and you have to.’

‘Where’s the barrister though?’

‘He’ll be here.’

‘And the solicitor? He said he’d meet us in the car park.’

‘I’ll call him.’

Ellie closed her eyes and tried to think of something mundane like a chocolate biscuit or sitting on a sofa. It was difficult to concentrate though, and perhaps a biscuit wasn’t big enough to distract her. She turned her attention to the shopping centre they’d passed on the way in instead. It was across the car park and beyond the court building and soon it would be open and people would go in and buy groceries and newspapers and other everyday things. They’d trail children and carrier bags and moan about prices. It was a comfort to know that the real world would go on in its usual way, whatever happened to her family this morning.

She opened her eyes and gave Tom what she hoped was a reassuring smile.

‘What?’ he said.

‘What, what?’

‘Why are you looking at me?’

‘I dunno.’

‘Well don’t.’

‘All right, Tom, just chill!’

‘Ellie!’ Mum turned in her seat.

‘All I did was smile at him!’

‘Well don’t.’

Ellie slumped back down. She wished she was old. She’d swap her life to be in a life that was nearly over, so long as she didn’t have to be here. You’re the primary witness, Dad kept saying. You need to show support.

They’d made her wear the skirt and blouse she’d got for Granddad’s funeral. The skirt was black nylon and stuck to her tights with static electricity. The blouse was dark grey. She’d studied herself in the hall mirror before getting into the car.

‘I look like a nun.’

‘You look perfect,’ her mother had said.

They wanted holy. Not red-hot nail varnish, purple lipstick and a flaming orange mini-skirt stretched tight around the thighs. Those were not good girl’s clothes.

Tom suddenly sat upright. ‘Who are all those people?’

A small crowd walked through the gate. Nine or ten teenagers heading for the main door.

‘Are they here for us?’ His voice was edged with panic.

Ellie pressed her nose against the window. The little crowd had stopped at the bottom of the main steps. One of the girls looked at her mobile. Two of the boys sat down.

‘The doors aren’t open yet,’ Ellie said. ‘They can’t go in.’

Tom peered past her. ‘That girl in the blue coat,’ he said, ‘I know her from college. And the one next to her!’

He was panicking properly now. He looked desperate and hot and he didn’t seem to care if they all saw him like this. Ellie tried to think of words that would help, but all she could think of were tight, angry words like your fault and no and… stop! This is you, she thought. This is the real terrified you. Did you know this was you before this began?