Jenny Downham - You Against Me

‘I can help her, Mikey. It’s my job to help her, but I can’t do my job if she won’t talk to me. If you could encourage her to trust me a bit more, that’d be great.’

She wanted him to call if he was worried about anything or wanted to talk, or if he thought of something Karyn might need. She gave him a little card with her direct number on it. It even had her name – Gillian.

He agreed to it all. It was a chance to believe everything could be better simply by saying it out loud.

In return she said she’d contact social services and tell them she’d spoken to him and that the family were perhaps managing better than she’d thought. She’d ask them to speak to Holly’s school about getting her into some club that didn’t finish until six o’clock, and maybe they could even investigate the possibility of a family support worker, whatever that was.

He promised that Mum would call her. He told her he understood that Karyn not meeting appointments was worrying and he’d do his best to persuade her to keep them. They nodded at each other. It was agreed. It was like beginning something new, starting over.

She began to put her coat on. ‘It’s fantastic you’re working, Mikey.’

He smiled without meaning to. ‘Yeah, I like cooking, it’s cool. Have you ever been to the Queen’s Head? It’s one of the pubs by the harbour.’

‘I don’t know it,’ she said. ‘But maybe I’ll try and get there one day.’

‘It’s all you can eat for a tenner. That’s pretty good, eh? After my shifts end, I even get stuff for free.’

He hesitated. He meant the meal he got after work, the bits of meat and stuffing balls and chipolatas, all piled high. But he wondered if by saying it out loud, she’d know about the crisps he stuffed in his jacket for the girls, the peanuts and pork scratchings for Mum. She was a cop, wasn’t she? She had a nose for crime.

‘The boss is pleased with me,’ he blustered. ‘She says I’m a natural.’

‘I’m sure you are.’

She stood up and hoisted her bag onto her shoulder. ‘Well, I’ll be off, Mikey, but remember, I think Mum should call social services today if possible.’

‘I’ll get her to do it.’

She nodded. ‘Good.’

He’d survived. She smiled as she left, even said she looked forward to seeing him again.

As soon as the door was shut he yelled up to Karyn and she came out of her room and stood at the top of the stairs, wrapped in her duvet.

‘She’s gone,’ he told her. ‘I handled it.’

‘What did she say?’

‘That you should keep your frigging appointments. You know, if you hadn’t pissed her off, she’d never have grassed us up. She’s only trying to help. Considering she’s a cop, she’s OK.’

‘She keeps wanting to talk about how I’m feeling and I want to forget it.’

‘Maybe she actually cares. You ever thought of that?’

Karyn walked down the stairs, trailing the duvet behind her. When she got to the bottom step she held out her arms for a hug. He put his arms round her and they stood there together for a minute.

‘There’s some stuff we need to do,’ he said.

She leaned back and looked at him. She looked paler than yesterday, and shorter. ‘What stuff?’

‘First, we’ve got to sober Mum up. Actually, you’ve got to sober her up, ‘cos I’ve got to go to work. She has to phone social services and tell them why she bunked off the other day, get some shopping in, then collect Holly. Get her to call me as soon as she’s properly awake and don’t let her go to school if she’s still hung-over – they’ll be watching for that. Your cop rang the school as well, can you believe it?’

‘Stop calling her my cop.’

‘If Mum hasn’t had a bath and isn’t completely sober, you’ll have to sort Holly out.’

Karyn shrank away from him. ‘I’m not leaving the flat.’

‘You don’t have to. Ring one of your friends and get them to pick her up.’

‘I’m not talking to people.’

‘For God’s sake, Karyn! It’s just a few phone calls.’

He wanted to hit her. He wanted to slam the door and walk away. Couldn’t she see that her mates needed something to do? Day after day they rang the doorbell to ask how she was. Giving them a job might make everyone feel better. But if he got into an argument about it now, he’d be even later for work than he was already. And if he walked off, Karyn’d go straight back to bed and she and Mum would sleep the whole day through.

He put his hands on Karyn’s shoulders and looked into her eyes. He felt like a hypnotist.

‘We’re in this together,’ he said, ‘and you have to do something to help. Make Mum strong coffee, get her to drink loads of water, go in and talk to her, don’t take any crap. We can’t be late to collect Holly today. Do you understand?’

She nodded, but her eyes were full of tears.

‘You’re very brave,’ he told her. ‘Don’t worry, it’s all going to work out fine.’

Tom stopped the car before the bridge, switched the engine off and turned to Ellie.

‘I’m not allowed any closer than this,’ he said.

She looked down at her lap, at her fingers gripping the strap of her bag.

He said, ‘I had a word with James and Freddie. They’ve got brothers at the school, and they’ll be straight in there if anyone gives you trouble today.’

Random boys acting as bodyguards would only get her noticed more. What she really needed was for everyone to stop taking any notice of her whatsoever, then her life could go back to how it used to be.

‘I’m sorry Dad gave you grief,’ Tom said. ‘He came down way too hard.’

It was true, he had. On and on about the shame she’d brought on the family by fighting in public, and the disappointment she’d caused by running away and not taking responsibility for her own behaviour, blah, blah. He’d only let her have two days and the weekend off, and was forcing her back already. This morning, he’d leaned over the breakfast table and said, ‘I hope you realize how tough this is for your brother.’

Tom had been sweet, stepping in and saying it was tough for her too, that she’d been defending his reputation and the kids at school sounded like total losers. But even Dad’s golden boy hadn’t been able to blag her any more days off.

And now she had to get out of the car and walk over the bridge. She had to go through the gate on the other side and cross the empty playground, then through the main door and report to reception. From there she would be escorted into Spanish by Mr Spalding, the learning mentor. It had all been planned by her father on the phone, including the late arrival. She was allowed to miss registration, assembly and the busy morning corridors. She was officially a troubled child.

‘You want my advice?’ Tom said. He twisted in his seat to look at her properly. ‘Keep your head down, stay focused on revision and exams and stay out of trouble. When you disappear for hours and refuse to say where you are, Mum and Dad are bound to go crazy.’

She shook her head at him. ‘I didn’t tell them where I was because I didn’t want to lie.’

‘But you haven’t told me either and we normally share stuff like that.’

But the gatecrasher was her secret. She’d had five texts from him since the river and the latest one said, When can I see you? She wasn’t going to tell anyone that.

‘I hung around town.’

‘So, why’s that such a secret?’

‘Dad hates me doing nothing. He probably expects me to go to the library and revise when I bunk off and Mum always takes his side. I didn’t want the lecture, that’s all.’

Tom nodded sympathetically. ‘Yeah, yeah, they’re ridiculous.’