Charles Bukowski - Post Office

One night I got up to get a drink of water. Then I came back, worked 30 minutes and took my ten minute break. When I sat down again, Chambers the supervisor, a high yellow came running up: “Chinaski! You’ve finally hung yourself! You’ve been gone 40 minutes!”

Chambers had fallen on the floor in a fit one night, frothing and twitching. They had carried him out on a stretcher. The next night he had come back, necktie, new shirt, as if nothing had happened. Now he was pulling the old water fountain game on me.

“Look, Chambers, try to be sensible. I got a drink of water, sat down, worked 30 minutes, then took my break. I was gone ten minutes.”

“You’ve hung yourself, Chinaski! You’ve been gone 40 minutes! I have 7 witnesses!”

“7 witnesses?”

“YES, 7!”

“I tell you, it was ten minutes.”

“No, we’ve got you, Chinaski! We’ve really got you this time!”

Then, I was tired of it. I didn’t want to look at him anymore:

“All right, then. I’ve been gone 40 minutes. Have your way. Write it up.”

Chambers ran off.

I stuck a few more letters, then the general foreman walked up. A thin white man with little tufts of grey hair hanging over each ear. I looked at him and then turned and stuck some more letters.

“Mr. Chinaski, I’m sure that you understand the rules and regulations of the post office. Each clerk is allowed 2 ten minute breaks, one before lunch, the other after lunch. The break privilege is granted by management: ten minutes. Ten minutes is—”

“GOD DAMN IT!” I threw my letters down. “Now I admitted to a 40 minute break just to satisfy you guys and get you off my ass. But you keep coming around! Now I take it back! I only took 10 minutes! I want to see your 7 witnesses! Trot them out!”

Two days later I was at the racetrack. I looked up and saw all these teeth, this big smile and the eyes shining, friendly. What was it—with all those teeth? I looked closer. It was Chambers looking at me, smiling and standing in a coffee line. I had a beer in my hand. I walked over to a trashcan, and still looking at him, I spit. Then I walked off. Chambers never bothered me again.

The baby was crawling, discovering the world. Marina slept in bed with us at night. There was Marina, Fay, the cat and myself. The cat slept on the bed too. Look here, I thought, I have 3 mouths depending on me. How very strange. I sat there and watched them sleeping.

Then two nights in a row when I came home in the mornings, the early mornings, Fay was sitting up reading the classified sections.

“All these rooms are so damned expensive,” she said.

“Sure,” I said.

The next night I asked her as she read the paper:

“Are you moving out?”

“Yes.”

“All right. I’ll help you find a place tomorrow. I’ll drive you around.” I agreed to pay her a sum each month. She said, “All right.” Fay got the girl. I got the cat.

We found a place 8 or 10 blocks away. I helped her move in, said goodbye to the girl and drove on back.

I went over to see Marina 2 or 3 or 4 times a week. I knew as long as I could see the girl I would be all right.

Fay was still wearing black to protest the war. She attended local peace demonstrations, love-ins, went to poetry readings, workshops, communist party meetings, and sat in a hippie coffee house. She took the child with her. If she wasn’t out she was sitting in a chair smoking cigarette after cigarette and reading. She wore protest buttons on her black blouse. But she was usually off somewhere with the girl when I drove over to visit.

I finally found them in one day. Fay was eating sunflower seeds with yogurt. She baked her own bread but it wasn’t very good.

“I met Andy, this truckdriver,” she told me. “He paints on the side. That’s one of his paintings.” Fay pointed to the wall. I was playing with the girl. I looked at the painting. I didn’t say anything.

“He has a big cock,” said Fay. “He was over the other night and he asked me, ‘How would you like to be fucked with a big cock?’ and I told him, ‘I would rather be fucked with love!’”

“He sounds like a man of the world,” I told her.

I played with the girl a little more, then left. I had a scheme test coming up.

Soon after, I got a letter from Fay. She and the child were living in a hippie commune in New Mexico. It was a nice place, she said. Marina would be able to breathe there. She enclosed a little drawing the girl had made for me.

POST OFFICE DEPARTMENT SUBJECT: Letter of Warning TO: Mr. Henry Chinaski

Information has been received in this office indicating that you were arrested by the Los Angeles Police Department on March 12, 1969, on a drunk charge.

In this connection, your attention is invited to Section 744.12 of the Postal Manual, as follows:

“Postal employees are servants of the general public and their conduct, in many instances, must be subject to more restrictions and to higher standards than may be for certain private employments. Employees are expected to conduct themselves during and outside of working hours in a manner which will reflect favorably upon the Postal Service. Although it is not the policy of the Post Office Department to interfere with the private lives of employees, it does require that Postal personnel be honest, reliable, trustworthy, and of good character and reputation.”

While your arrest was on a relatively minor charge, it constitutes evidence of your failure to conduct yourself as required in a manner which will reflect favorably upon the Postal Service. You are hereby cautioned and warned that a repetition of this offense or other involvement with police authorities will leave this office no alternative but to consider disciplinary action.

You may submit your written explanation in this matter if you wish to do so.

POST OFFICE DEPARTMENT SUBJECT: Notice of Proposed Adverse Action

TO: Mr. Henry Chinaski

This is advance notice that it is proposed to suspend you from duty without pay for 3 days or to take such other disciplinary action as may be determined to be appropriate. The proposed action is considered to be for such cause as will promote the efficiency of the service and will be effected no sooner than 35 calendar days from the receipt of this letter.

The charge against you and the reasons supporting the charge are:

CHARGE NO. 1

You are charged with being absent without leave on May, 13, 1969, May 14, 1969, and May 15, 1969.

In addition to the above, the following element of your past record will be considered in determining the extent of disciplinary action should the current charge be sustained:

You were issued a letter of warning April 1, 1969, for being absent without leave.

You have a right to answer the charge in person or in writing, or both, and to be accompanied by a representative of your own choosing. Your reply is to be made within ten (10) calendar days

of the receipt of this letter. You may also submit affidavits in support of your answer. Any written reply should be directed to the Postmaster, Los Angeles, California 90052. If additional time is needed within which to submit your reply, it will be considered upon written application showing the necessity.

If you wish to reply in person, you may make an appointment with Ellen Normell, Chief Employment and Services Section, or K. T. Shamus, Employee Services Officer, by telephoning 289-2222.

After the expiration of the 10-day time limit for reply, all of the facts in your case, including any reply you may submit, will be given full consideration before a decision is rendered. A decision in writing will be issued to you. If the decision is adverse, the letter of decision will advise you of the reason, or reasons, relied upon in making the decision.