Кэндес Бушнелл - Four Blondes

"Don't be so sure." Evie giggles.

The elevator doors open on the ground floor. Tanner grabs Evie's hand. They hurry out to the street.

The limo driver is holding open the door. There's a crowd, held back by police barricades. "Maestro!" Tanner screams.

He pulls Evie into the limo.

Clay and Veronica and Winnie and James are standing on the street corner. Trying to get a cab. (Or trying not to get a cab, James thinks.) "If you want to kill yourself, go right ahead," Veronica says to Clay. "I really don't give a flying fuck anymore.”

"What are you talking about?" Clay asks.

"Oh, for Christ's sake, Clay. How stupid do you think I am?”

"Let’s get a drink," James says.

"You've both been doing coke," Winnie says. "I haven't been doing coke," James says.

"Can you believe this, man?" Clay says to James. "I mean, how much more of this do we have to take?”

"You are such a loser, James," Winnie says. "Let’s get in a cab and go home.”

"I'm not getting in a cab," James says. "I'm getting a drink.”

"James!”

"No!" James says. "Tanner sits there snorting up a gram of coke and no one gets on his case.”

“Tanner is a famous movie star who makes fifteen million dollars a picture," Winnie says.

"Tanner is an alcoholic, a drug addict, and a sex addict. He's a complete sicko degenerate," Veronica says.

"So if s all about money," Clay says.

"What are you talking about?" Veronica says. "She," Clay says, pointing at Winnie, "just said that Tanner makes fifteen million a year. So that makes it okay.”

"Picture. Fifteen million a picture. And no, ifs not okay.”

"I've had enough," Clay says to James. "What about you?”

"I just want a drink," James says.

Tanner's limo pulls up to the corner. Tanner rolls down the window. "Anybody need a lift?”

"I'm with you, Tanner," Clay says.

"Me too," James says. He doesn't look at Winnie. "Don't you get in that limo, Clay.”

"Hey sis, lighten up," Tanner says. "Me and the boys are going to have a few pops.”

Clay and James get into the limo, climbing over Evie, who's lying on the floor, laughing. "Hello, boys," she says. As the limo pulls away, James sneaks a look back at Winnie. Her mouth is open, but for once, nothing is coming out.

Four a.m.

James doesn't feel so good. He stole the chalk. He's being punished. He thinks (but he's not sure) he hears voices. "What have you done now, James?" his mother says. "At the rate you're going, we'll have to send you to reform school. Do you want to be a failure? Like your father?”

Was his father a failure? His suits were always rumpled. He owned three dry-cleaning stores. Was he having an affair with Betty, the woman who did his books? "Pull down your pants, James," his father says, taking off his belt.

It was only a tiny piece of chalk. A sliver, really. "Hey, let me in," James says. His voice is a croak. It seems to be coming from somewhere to his left. (Somehow he's at his building. Somehow he got into a cab and obviously gave the cab driver his address. But it seems like ages ago. Maybe yesterday.) "Yes?" the doorman says. James has never seen him before.

"I'm James Dieke. I live here," he says, holding up his keys.

The doorman lets him in. "Are you new?" James says. It feels better to talk. If he can just keep talking, maybe he can get through this. "Are you married?

I'm married. I'm not sure if I like being married, but what can you do?”

"Good night," the doorman says.

James rides the elevator to his floor. Does it take a minute or forever? He grew up on Long Island in a row house. Every house was the same. His had rattan furniture from Sears.

(His grandmother ate red-and-white-striped candies. Peppermints, she said. She wore flowered housedresses.) Winnie's house had a pool and a tennis court. Her father was a judge. Winnie had a black Prince tennis racket.

This is very, very important.

Someone brought a monkey to school once. Its tail was worn.

Birds are chirping. If s a terrible noise. Who knew New York City had so many birds? He enters his apartment. He's going to show them all. He's going to write this book. If s earth-shattering. People have to know about this.

"Winnie," he says.

She's lying in bed. She opens her eyes and glares at him. Turns over.

Someone's got to know about this.

James shakes her. "If s this giant government plot, Winnie. Winnie, are you awake? If s the overcrowding of the niche structures but instead of using rats they're using monkeys and they're finding that the same behavior occurs in primates, which means that it goes all the way to the heart of the inner-city housing crisis. Of course, Stephen Jay Gould discovered the same construct in his snail studies ...”

"Go ... to ... the ... couch.”

" ... which he then applied to primates, and Darwin never read Mendel. Do you know what that means? Darwin never read Mendel?”

"What the hell are you talking about, James?" She looks at him. Then she must really look at him because she says, "Holy shit. You're a mess. You look like a bum. And you smell.”

"I'm sorry I woke you up," James says. He isn't sorry. Suddenly, he feels an overwhelming (and inexplicable) affection for her. He wants to make love.

He wants to have sex. He's got to have sex.

He sits on the edge of the bed. "You're so wonderful. You're such a wonderful wife. I always want to tell you how much I love you, but you never give me a chance.”

"You're disgusting," Winnie says. "I'd ask you to move out right now, but if s too late. You can go to a hotel in the morning." She pulls the covers over her head.

"Everybody admires you so much. Tanner is crazy about you.”

"I can't have this," Winnie says. She's going to explode. She has work in the morning. (Why is it that everybody else thinks that their shit is so much more important than her shit? She'd like someone else to acknowledge the importance of her shit. For once.) James puts his arms around her. He tries to kiss her.

"James," she says.

"You're so ... pretty," James says, trying to stroke her hair.

"James, go to sleep.... James, stop it.... I'm going to have you arrested for conjugal rape....

James, get off me.”

Winnie screams. James rolls to the side. He moans. "Go to the couch!" Winnie says.

"I can't.”

Winnie throws off the covers. "We're going to have a long talk tomorrow. About your behavior. We're going to start making some big changes around here.”

"Winnie ...”

"I mean it, James. We have a child. You have responsibilities. Where the hell, and I really want to know this, where the hell do you and Clay get the idea that you can run around and act like six-year olds? Do you see Veronica and me going out and drinking and doing drugs and staying up until four in the morning? How would you like it? How would you like it if I went out and stuck my hand down guys' pants and did drugs with them in the bathroom and God knows what else? Maybe I'm going to do that some night. Because you know what, James, I don't care anymore. I've had it.”

"Winnie?”

"And this business about chimpanzees and alpha males. I'm beginning to think you've lost it. Wake up, James. If s the millennium. Men and women are equal. Get it? So why don't you think about how I feel? Do you think I like taking care of you all the time? What about me? I'd like to be taken care of. I'd like to have a husband who could at least pay ... all the rent. You're a burden, James. I'm tired of doing eighty percent of the work and reaping twenty percent of the profits. I'm tired of—”

"Winnie?”

"Shut up, James. If s my turn. I've had to listen to your bullshit all evening. I've been sitting here for the last five hours wondering where you were and what you were up to. I'm so sick of you, James. You're no better man Evie. Does she think we didn't see her hiding in the limo? Hiding! She's thirty-five! She's obviously trying to sleep with Clay. And God knows what she's trying to do with Tanner.”