Кэндес Бушнелл - Four Blondes

"Yes?" James says.

"It has an inherent flaw. If Tanner is an alpha male, what are you, James?”

She smiles and leaves the room.

Tanner Hart is on. Sitting in the back corner of the VIP room at Chaos (a room that can only be reached by private elevator, which can only be accessed by a separate entrance, guarded by two bouncers and a young lady with a list), Tanner Hart is chain-smoking Marlboro reds and drinking martinis. Tanner Hart is laughing. Tanner Hart is frowning. Tanner Hart is nodding, his eyes wide with surprise, mouth open. "Uh-huh, uh-huh, yes I do remember meeting you on the set of Switchblade how have you been since then? You had a dog right and something happened to the dog, something with an elephant? Oh, a cat, a cat." And then to somebody else: "Hey that night that was pretty hot, huh, stick around you going someplace let’s talk later after all this but you're doing well, right? You look great." Tanner Hart looks at his watch. Soon he'll be bored. (If s just another movie premiere.) In an hour, he'll be able to pick up a chick and go back to his hotel room. Then he'll be bored again. (And he'll have to do it all over again, which in itself will be boring.) "Jimmy!" Tanner shouts. James and Winnie Dieke are squeezing through the crowd. They're still wearing their coats. James looks pained. Winnie looks annoyed. (James has been going downhill, Tanner thinks, ever since he married Winnie and had a child. He looks like a prisoner. Tanner has to free him. Winnie looks like she needs a good fuck. Tanner has to free her too.) Winnie spots Tanner. She waves.

"We're going to say hi and then we're going home," she says to James.

James says nothing. He's waiting for a moment when he can escape.

"Jimmy my boy. Jimmy baby." Tanner grabs James around the neck, swaying him from side to side. Then he pushes James away and puts his hands on either side of Winnie's face. He pulls her toward him and kisses her on the Jips. "I love you guys," he says. "Everybody loves us," Winnie says.

"Yeah, but I especially love you," Tanner says. "Did you have any trouble getting in? Those people at the door are such assholes. I keep telling the publicity people, but it doesn't make any difference.

Jimmy, where's your drink? Somebody get this man a cocktail," Tanner screams. He sits down and leans back. He pulls Winnie onto his lap. "Watch out, Jimmy boy," he says. "I'm going to steal her from you one of these days.”

I wish you would, James thinks.

Winnie giggles, plucks the martini glass out of Tanner's hand, and takes a large gulp. (Winnie is a different person in front of Tanner. She flirts. Disgustingly, James thinks. Does she think Tanner would ever be interested in her?) "Whoa. Go easy, baby, easy," Tanner says, taking his glass back and patting her on the butt. He slides his hand underneath the back of her coat. Winnie doesn't object. (She hates Tanner until she sees him.

And then she can't help herself. She loves him.) "How are you?" Winnie asks. "I mean, really?”

“I'll be right back," James says.

"Hold on, bro," Tanner says. He passes James a vial of cocaine. Turns back to Winnie. "So where's my future wife?" he asks.

James is elated. He feels like a naughty schoolboy who has just run off with the teacher's chalk. (He did run off once with the teacher's chalk, when he was very young. It felt good for three minutes, until he got caught. Then he was sent home from school. It was embarrassing. It was unfair. It was only a tiny piece of chalk.) James runs into Clay Ryan in the bathroom. "Christ," Clay says. "I'm trying to get away from my wife.”

"So am I," James says. He hands Clay the vial of cocaine. Clay sticks in the tip of a key and holds it up to his nose. "So what about Winnie's sister, Evie?" he asks.

"She's hot," James says.

Evie wants to fuck Tanner and she's excited about it. She's met Tanner three times before, and every time, he made a point of putting his hands on her.

If s his way of saying that if she wanted to fuck him, he would.

She tells herself that nothing will come of it (she tells herself that something might come of it, that she might, through some fluke of nature, be "the one"), but she doesn't care. She just wants to fuck him once. To see what it would be like. (She wants to fuck a movie star. She'd like to fuck lots of movie stars. Who wouldn't?) Evie runs into James and Clay outside the bathroom.

They look like they've been up to something. James is wiping his nose. (He is so uncool, Evie thinks. Pathetic, really. How can Winnie sleep with him? He has no hair.) "Have you seen Winnie?" she asks.

James and Clay take Evie into the bathroom. "I never do this," James says.

Evie says, "Oh James, shut up.”

“Don't tell Winnie," James says.

"I'm going to tell Winnie," Clay says. "I'm going to tell the whole fucking world. Including my wife. Fuck her.”

They run into Tanner outside the bathroom. Tanner, Clay, and Evie go into the bathroom. James goes to the bar to get a drink. In the stall, Tanner presses up against Evie. Like Clay isn't even there. Evie minks she might swoon. Tanner is better in person than he is on the screen.

"How come you weren't at the wedding?" he asks. "Which one?" Evie says.

"James and Winnie.”

“Rehab," Evie says.

Veronica and Winnie are sitting at a table. "I'd just like some appreciation sometimes," Veronica says. "When I met Clay, he was living in an apartment with no bathroom.”

"James is either working or on the Internet or watching TV," Winnie says. Why does she always get stuck with Veronica?

"I mean, could he listen? To me? His latest thing is bad investments.”

"They have time for everything except you," Winnie says. "Well, now I don't have time for him.”

"And does he even notice? And now they're all on coke," Veronica says. "Look at them all jabbering away like monkeys. If s disgusting.”

James and Evie and Clay sit down with Veronica and Winnie.

"James is doing a piece on chimpanzees," Evie says.

"Oh James, don't talk about it. If s so dull," Winnie says.

"I just found out that the government is illegally importing chimpanzees for secret medical research. They're stashing them in a warehouse in lower Manhattan," James says.

"Why would anybody bring monkeys into Manhattan," Winnie says.

"Did you know that in some chimp tribes, the females are lesbians? And they let the male chimps watch?" Clay asks, leaning over to Evie. "Clay, we're going," Veronica says.

"Hold on," Clay says. "I haven't finished my drink.”

"Who wants another drink?" James says. "That’s enough," Winnie says.

"Tanner's ordering another drink," James says. "Tanner's leaving," Veronica says. And, in fact, Tanner is leaving, moving toward the elevator, kissing and squeezing people along the way.

"We'll give you a ride uptown, Evie," Winnie says, standing up.

"That’s okay. I don't have to be up in the morning," Evie says. She has one eye on Tanner. She can't let him get away. "I'll be back," she says.

"Sure," Clay says.

Veronica gives him a dirty look.

Evie hurries after Tanner. Winnie and James and Veronica and Clay are so boring. Why is Winnie always trying to control her? Doesn't she understand that Evie and Tanner are one kind of person and Winnie and James are another? (They are partiers. Fun people.) She manages to squeeze herself into the elevator with Tanner just before the doors shut.

"Good girl," Tanner says. He looks at Evie appraisingly and thinks, She'll do. (He's had hundreds of girls like Evie. Sexy and available. Too available. After a certain age they can't find husbands. Or even boyfriends. He'd rather fuck Winnie. At least she isn't available.) "Just promise me one thing," Tanner whispers. "Don't give me any of that marriage shit." He starts singing, "It ain't me, babe. It ain't me you're looking for. Babe.”