Andres Neuman - Traveller of the Century

How fascinating, Frau Pietzine declared, I adore Quixote ! I haven’t read all of it, but some of the chapters are wonderful. And who do you prefer, as a Spanish reader, dear Monsieur Urquiho , Don Quixote or Sancho Panza? I hope I am not putting you on the spot! My dear lady, replied Álvaro, it is impossible to choose, the story needs them both, and neither character would make sense without the other. Don Quixote without Sancho would be an aimless old man who wouldn’t last a week, and without him Sancho would be a plump little conformist without his curiosity, which is his greatest asset. I agree completely, commented Hans, except in one respect — the key to Don Quixote is that he has no aim: “He continued on his way”—do you remember? — “taking nothing save his beloved horse, believing that therein lay the true spirit of adventure”. If there can be no knight without a squire bearer and vice versa, without Rocinante there would be no book. How fascinating, Frau Pietzine cooed, and what de-li-cious cakes! Sophie, my dear, my compliments to Petra. Ah, scoffed Rudi, a speck of snuff on the tip of his nose, a sensible remark at last!

After several days of running a temperature, coughing, and feeling nauseous, the organ grinder agreed to be seen by a doctor. Just so you know, kof , he had declared, I’m doing this to put yours and Franz’s minds at rest. Hans gave him a scrub down for the occasion. His muscles sagged like pieces of string.

Doctor Müller arrived by coach. Hans waited for him at the end of Bridge Walk. The doctor alighted nervously and approached in little leaps, as though his feet were tied together at the ankles. Haven’t we met before? asked the doctor. I don’t think so, answered Hans, but who knows. How odd, said Doctor Müller, your face looks familiar. And even though I say so myself, I seldom forget a face. The opposite happens with me, said Hans, leading him through the pinewood, I’m constantly muddling people up.

They entered the cave. Without batting an eyelash, the doctor made straight for the organ grinder’s straw pallet. He studied him with interest, nodded a couple of times, draped an enormous stethoscope round his neck (It’s French, he explained), listened to the patient’s chest and proclaimed: This old fellow is suffering from pemphigus. And what is that, doctor? Hans asked anxiously. Pemphigus, replied Müller, is a common ailment. Yes, but what is it? Hans insisted. Blisters, the doctor explained, skin blisters, in this case mostly on the hands. I imagine this fellow has worked a great deal with his hands, or so it seems to me at least. Quite so, said Hans, but what has that to do with his condition? You mean the fevers and the coughing? said Müller. Oh very little. Nothing, in fact. But as soon as I saw him I knew. Without a doubt. Pemphigus. But what about the other symptoms? Hans said impatiently. Doctor Müller digressed onto the subject of nervous ailments, boils, lingering colds, old age, bone disease. In brief, he concluded, nothing serious. Or perhaps it could be.

After examining the organ grinder more thoroughly, Doctor Müller prescribed aloe purgatives at eight-hour intervals. Six different chest ointments, one for every day except Sunday. Soothing morning enemas using a chicken’s gut for easy application. Poultices in the afternoon, mustard plasters after supper. Pomeranian vinegar to be taken with each meal. Fenugreek poultices to aid digestion. Five grams of shredded lemon balm to reduce the nausea. Ten grams of decoction of horehound to ease minor coughing. Four small cups of juniper berry at the first sign of a convulsive coughing fit, followed by four more infusions of arnica and maidenhair fern to help bring up the phlegm once the fever has subsided. Mandrake root with crushed peppercorns as a tonic. Optional doses of snakeweed root if the patient’s bowel movements become too frequent. And if he suffers any acute pains or thirst, a cocktail of lilies boiled in milk and schnapps. Finally, if all else should fail, vigorous rubbing with swallowwort leaves on the forehead and temples.

Isn’t that rather a lot, Hans asked, jotting it all down. Doctor Müller bridled: Tell me, do you know the Reil method? Carus’s experimental anatomy? Mesmer’s animal fluids? Well, in that case, kindly place your trust in science. Hans sighed: I’m doing my best. Is there anything else? No, I don’t think so, Doctor Müller replied wistfully, or perhaps there is, say a prayer or two for the patient, it’s a small gesture and it can do no harm. I’m afraid I can’t promise anything there, said Hans. I understand, the doctor smiled, don’t worry, I’m not a very religious man myself. The thing is patients sometimes feel more relief from prayer than from the treatment.

The old man appeared to be sound asleep. Doctor Müller folded his French stethoscope and straightened up brusquely. Franz let out two barks. Well, said Müller, giving Franz a wide berth, mission accomplished, wouldn’t you say? I’ll be on my way, that is … How much? asked Hans. For you, the doctor replied, five florins. The organ grinder opened one glassy eye, and, to their surprise, spoke up: Hans— kof ! — don’t give him a pfennig more than three thalers, do you hear!

Lately, each time Sophie went out she noticed people staring at her. Scrutinising her gestures. Comparing what they saw with what they had heard. Staring at her waist, for example. Gazing intently at her dress and her stomach, examining her from the side just in case. To begin with she wasn’t sure. She found it hard to distinguish between outside speculation and her inner fears, between what others thought and her own doubts, and she tried to convince herself it wasn’t true. Until one morning, a distant acquaintance had greeted her in a peculiar way; after saying good morning, she had narrowed her heavily made-up eyes and said: My dear, you look, how can I put it, as healthy as a horse, don’t you agree? Fuller, more radiant, of course nowadays, as you know, they make women’s clothes in such a way …

Back home, alarmed, Sophie had hurriedly weighed herself on the scales. She discovered she had not only gained no weight but had lost several pounds since the summer.

One afternoon after lunch, Elsa and Sophie went out under the pretext of making a few final purchases to complete her trousseau. At the end of Old Cauldron Street they bumped into Frau Pietzine. Frau Pietzine was friendly, although she wore a concerned expression that made Sophie feel ill at ease. Before saying goodbye she beckoned to Sophie with a silken finger. Elsa took two steps back and began watching the passing coaches.

All I ask is that you reflect on it, whispered Frau Pietzine, you wouldn’t want to throw away something so full of promise, such a privileged future for a foolish passion. And don’t look at me like that, I beg you, I am your friend. Perhaps you don’t consider me a friend, but I am, and my advice as a friend is to try not to lose your head. My dear lady, Sophie replied coldly, you sound like your Father confessor. That’s unfair of you! Frau Pietzine replied with unusual insistence, let us be frank for once, a difficult thing in this damnable city. Yes, damnable, and I know perfectly well you feel the same. I sympathise, my dear friend, a girl like you! With your temperament! How could I not sympathise? I’m not talking of sin, but of time — we lose our time over love, do you know why? Because we invest everything we have in it, all that it has taken half a lifetime to build up, in exchange for a fleeting reward. But after this passion has died we have to go on living — do you understand? — we have to go on living! In the end, all a woman has left are the things she sometimes rejects — family, friends, neighbours. Nothing else lasts. Remember that Sophie, we aren’t young for ever. Everyone knows this, but we prefer not to think about it until it is too late. When we are young and happy we don’t want to accept that our happiness is a product of youth and not of the rash decisions we take. But, mark my words, the day will dawn when you realise you have become old. And there is nothing you can do. And what you possess that day will be all that you possess until the end of your days. I shan’t hold you up any longer, dear. Good afternoon.