Yan Lianke - Lenin's Kisses

Or, alternatively, she might not get up on stage at all, but rather would stand in front and simply say, “Let’s begin!” With this, the musicians would start playing their fiddles and the performers would start singing. As for Liven’s trademark performances, those would come after the main event.

This time, however, Grandma Mao Zhi didn’t show up. Instead, One-Legged Monkey walked up to the front, following the path that had already been opened up for Chief Liu. When he arrived at the front of the field, he went to the edge of the meter-high stage, threw his crutches to the ground, and hopped up onto the stage, shouting, “Please welcome the county chief to say a few words!” Then he hopped down again.

Once One-Legged Monkey was back on the ground, he patted the shoulder of a deaf man watching the stage, then pulled away the stool that the man was sitting on in order to use it as a stage-step. 13

Chief Liu used this stage-step to climb onto the stage and then, standing on a raised area at the center of the platform, he gazed out at the crowd of Balou peasants who had come to watch the festival. The bright yellow sun shone on people’s heads, making them look as though they were glowing. The people standing on the slope all leaned forward as they peered at the stage. Chief Liu was about to start speaking, but after opening his mouth he immediately closed it again, having suddenly realized that the hundred-odd people in the audience had not yet applauded him. So, instead of speaking, he simply waited.

Perhaps it was because the people of Liven don’t attend meetings as often as people elsewhere, or perhaps it was because this was the first time they had seen the county chief host a livening festival, but whatever the reason, they didn’t realize that no matter where the county chief was, before he started speaking they were always expected to break out into applause, just as you must bring food to the table before starting to eat. Perhaps they hesitated because they couldn’t understand why Grandma Mao Zhi hadn’t accompanied Chief Liu and his slender secretary to say a few words. All of this, after all, was something she typically would be responsible for, but this time for some reason it seemed to be the completely insignificant One-Legged Monkey who was taking responsibility for things. As a result, Chief Liu and the villagers found themselves at a stalemate, as Chief Liu waited for the villagers to applaud, while the villagers waited for him to begin speaking. As for Secretary Shi, he was paralyzed with confusion as he watched the county chief up on stage and the crowd below.

A sparrow fluttered over the field, and the sound of its wings echoed over the crowd.

Chief Liu became increasingly anxious, and cleared his throat to remind the crowd of what was expected of them.

The crowd heard him clear his throat and assumed that he was about to speak, and therefore they became even quieter than before. They became so quiet, in fact, that from one side of the field you could hear the tea-egg water boiling all the way over on the other side. As Chief Liu waited up on stage and the crowds remained frozen down below, it seemed as if time itself had come to a standstill. Secretary Shi wasn’t sure what the problem was, so he made his way to the front of the stage, where he raised his glass and whispered, “Chief Liu, do you want some water?” Chief Liu didn’t answer, but his face turned slightly green. At that point, One-Legged Monkey suddenly hopped onto the stage and, without saying a word, started to applaud. With this, Secretary Shi suddenly realized what was wrong, and therefore he too jumped onto the stage and frantically started clapping, saying, “Everyone, please give the county chief a hand!”

Just as rain follows lightning, the crowd immediately came to their senses and began applauding enthusiastically. From soft to loud, and from sparse to dense, the applause quickly became a solid mass of sound. As long as Secretary Shi didn’t stop applauding, the crowd naturally wouldn’t stop either. Secretary Shi kept clapping until his palms were red, as did One-Legged Monkey, and the crowd also clapped until their hands were in agony. The sparrows in the trees next to the field were startled and flew away, and the village pigs and chickens were so frightened that they all scurried home. It was only then that Chief Liu’s face began to regain its normal color. He raised both hands and gestured for everyone to stop applauding, whereupon Secretary Shi stopped.

The sound of applause abruptly ceased.

Chief Liu advanced to the edge of the stage, and although his face still had some traces of green, his original reddish tint had mostly returned. He coughed again to clear his throat, and then said slowly,

“Fellow villagers and village elders, I am County Chief Liu. Most of you haven’t seen me before, and therefore I don’t blame you.” As he continued, his voice became even louder. “You had a hot blizzard here in Liven, a natural disaster. Although each family was able to preserve some of their harvest, of the one hundred and ninety-seven people in the village, there are thirty-five who are blind, forty-seven who are deaf, and fifty-something who are missing an arm or a leg, not to mention the dozen or so who are retarded or insane. No more than a seventh of the population of the village are wholers, and consequently this hot blizzard is truly an enormous disaster for you.”

Chief Liu paused, and gazed down at the crowd.

“Fellow villagers and village elders. We have eight hundred and ten thousand people in our county, and I am their parental official. Out of those eight hundred and ten thousand people, everyone — regardless of whether their surname is Zhao or Li, Sun or Wang — as long as they were born in this county, they are all my children. I am the parental official of those eight hundred and ten thousand people. I can’t bear to see a single child go hungry, regardless of where they are from, and certainly can’t permit any of my children to starve to death.”

Chief Liu gazed down at the crowd below.

Secretary Shi also gazed at them and, as he did, he and One-Legged Monkey began applauding. The crowd once again erupted in applause.

Chief Liu gestured for them to stop, and said,

“I have decided, given that this hot blizzard has brought great hardship to Liven and that your wheat harvest has been devastated, to compensate each family for its losses.”

He gazed again at the crowd of blind and deaf people, cripples, and other disabled villagers, and this time Secretary Shi didn’t need to start clapping for the crowd to break out into raucous applause. The applause went on and on, like a storm raining down on the rooftops, enveloping the entire village. It continued for so long that eventually the leaves on the trees were shaken to the ground. The county chief looked out at the ruddy glow on the faces of the crowd, and the gloomy expression that had haunted his face disappeared, leaving behind a satisfied smile. He said,

“Please, don’t applaud. If you clap for too long, you will hurt your hands. To tell the truth, there is no parent in the world who would allow his or her children to starve to death. I am the parent of the entire county, and as long as I have a single steamed bun, then everyone in Liven will be able to have a bite, and as long as I have even half a bowl of soup, then everyone in Liven will be able to take a sip. Not only will I distribute grain, I also want everyone in the county who earns a salary to take out their wallets. In a few days, I will have someone bring over the grain and distribute some to every family, and as for the money, my secretary has already brought it over and divided it up. After this festival has concluded, everyone in Liven will receive more than fifty yuan. If your family has two people, they will get more than a hundred yuan; if you have three people, you will get more than a hundred and fifty yuan; if you have four people, you will get more than two hundred yuan; and if you have seven or eight people—”