A. Yehoshua - A Late Divorce

She smiles sadly reassured.

“Excuse me,” I say. “Do you happen to know what time it is?”

“Half past five.”

I nod goodbye to her I tip and wave my hat she sits down again in her chair reaching out to touch her suitcase hesitantly sticking her thumb in her mouth. Dusk now. I head back toward the front gate the giant still standing there without moving limply holding a pitchfork waiting for something. He’s recognized me. I retrace my steps cutting back through the ward with its rows of beds smiling pleasantly to the tailored lady who watches me bare legs pertly crossed hesitantly taking her thumb from her mouth. I enter the small kitchen at the far end of the ward and slip out through the back door. A new perspective. The sound of surf. Dogs bark. The green cottage of the library seen from behind. The bench in the garden beneath the tall eucalyptus trees where we stood. Nearby another cottage with bars a dim light shining inside. The gathering darkness. I make a leisurely detour around the lawn to my left no need to run I bend down and pluck a leaf chewing it inhaling its fresh green smell. I reach the southern end of the fence and cut back eastward plunging into the bushes planted alongside it the barking growing louder one dog is howling now as though it were hurt I never was afraid of dogs but this is an eerie sound. The concrete wall ends. Here must be the hole I head toward it through the bushes but I’m wrong it’s the barbed wire again the sealed gap some hairy mangy thing is thrashing about in its loops and kicking up dust. Beyond the bushes more dogs bark. And human voices too. It’s ’Ratio he’s caught in there he’s howling pawing up earth. All of a sudden I feel my heart break for our old dog.

“’Ratio!” I shout. “’Ratio! Horatio!”

He stops what he’s doing and looks up at me. Our eyes meet. He wags his tail madly. From beyond the bushes I hear Tsvi calling him too.

“Horatio! Horatio!..He’s stuck in there, mother.”

And Naomi’s voice from afar:

“Where?”

Dogs bark in a frenzy.

“Git!” shouts Asi furiously.

I crouch and hide behind a bush hearing them struggle in the red sunset.

“He’s over there! He must have smelled him.”

“Father??”

“He’s stuck in there, pull him back this way!”

Above the branches I glimpse Naomi’s white hair.

“Grab his chain!”

“He’s gone crazy! How did he ever get in there?”

I don’t move at all seeing the road far away the black taxi waiting by the railroad tracks facing east toward the main road a line of cars turning in there toward the hospital. They’re shouting outside the fence and I’m hiding inside what a reversal of roles.

Now! I take the documents from my pocket I read them quickly and tear them into little pieces I dig a small hole in the ground and stick them in it covering them with stones and earth. A sense of inner peace. I’ll have to call the lawyer from the airport. Divorce yes. The house no. My inalienable rights. I disappointed you? What did I ever promise? I rise and head back the way I’ve come doubled over. Hide-and-seek. I’ll leave by the sea side. Soul colors in the fiery pageant of sunset far away. What time is it? Time enough. Time enough. I finger my ticket and my passport in my pocket. Cars enter the hospital bringing back patients from their seder day at home. A noisy bustle of people lights go on in the wards. I cross the lawns again the giant’s still there poking his pitchfork at the dead bush. Dumbfounded to see me. I smile at him. Amazingly he has a big watch on. “What time is it?” I ask. He looks at me in a trance not answering. I tip my hat and walk on.

Your head is spinning but inside you you’re at peace. A bit much though all that tipping of your hat. You enter the ward again the tailored lady hurries toward you.

“Oh, it’s you,” she says. “I’m glad you’re back. I can’t seem to turn on the light.”

I flick the switch but nothing happens.

“There must be a short,” I explain. “Someone will come to fix it soon.”

No fantasy then. What you love is what you kill the spirit listeth where it will. And supposing I did disappoint? Divorce yes. The house no. We’ll bargain again. Two women. No less. Maybe you’d like to kill me again please. I fling myself on Naomi’s bed. Saber-sharp thought. I push aside her straw hat and stretch out on her bedclothes. The last rays of the sun glint on the white sheets. I’ll wait for them here. The wretched lady hovers by the bed.

“Excuse me, Mr….”

“Kaminka.”

“I don’t remember what you said about supper.”

“Supper?”

“When is it served? And where?”

“Usually here on the ward, but because of the holiday it’s in the big dining room tonight.”

She nods wringing her hands.

“I feel so lost here. I can’t even get myself to unpack my suitcase. This whole place makes me sick… they didn’t allow my husband in, and so he left me… he’s an officer, he’s always in a hurry… he has to get back to his regiment…”

“You’ll get used to it.” I nod back with my head on the pillow my mind somewhere else. “You’ll see that you will.”

“But how?” she asks hopelessly. “How?”

“You’ll see. They’ll take good care of you.”

“I certainly hope so.” She smiles childishly. “Do you think they’ll let me swim in the ocean?…I like that so much…”

“Why shouldn’t they?”

She regards me sharply stricken with new anxiety.

“But where is your wife? Where is she?”

“She’ll be here any minute.”

“What kind of woman is she? Do you think that we’ll be friends?”

“Of course you will. She’s a very nice woman. You’ll get to know each other.”

Suddenly the sound of people running. I jump up instinctively and dash to the kitchen seeing Yehezkel hearing him call from the door:

“I tell you, that wasn’t him! You’re wrong.”

He runs to Naomi’s bed he opens the drawer he takes out the broken half of the dog’s chain he runs back out again.

I return to the bed. All things mesh together. The sun enmeshed in the middle of the square windowpane. The tailored lady sits there helplessly tears running down her cheeks.

All at once gripped by the thought.

“Why are you crying? What are you here for?”

“They thought I wanted to kill myself. But I didn’t. I only wanted to try it… to frighten them… and they thought I meant it…”

“There, there. Look, they’ll take good care of you here. And soon you’ll be able to leave.”

I can’t tear myself away from Naomi’s bed I don’t lie down on it though I just stand there looking at the straw hat on the pillows at the open drawer. Fragile inner workings of. Thinking of your regained half a house. Half a guest room half a bedroom half a kitchen half a bathroom the whole place halved by an imaginary line. Taking off my soft felt hat and putting on her straw one in its place. The lady in the corner looks at me but there’s no turning back now. I lift Naomi’s cotton dress I finger it crinkling the fabric I sniff it she’s lost her old smell these last five years and gotten a new one. I can’t put down the dress. Shaken annoyed at myself I wriggle out of my jacket I hold up the dress and slip into it struggling with the fabric caught for a dark moment but then it falls freely over me stiff and clean. I see the little face in the corner fill with terror the lips are trying to speak.

“Oh, no… why are you… you’re frightening me… oh, don’t! Don’t frighten me, please… why didn’t you tell me you were sick too?”

I frown at her watching the dress swirl lightly around my legs bending to roll up my pants until my white ankles show. The sun sinks slowly beneath the square window I take the soft gray shawl and cast it over my shoulders looking for a mirror. The woman trembles bites her fingers sobs.