Nadine Gordimer - The Lying Days

“Yes, we must wait and see.” There was a pause.

“—But they must be itching on their batons—” I tried again.

“I haven’t been out in any of the townships yet today,” he said shortly. “Did you phone the Consulate?”

“No. Perhaps this afternoon. If I don’t fall asleep. You’ve no idea how odd it is, being in the flat in the morning.”

“Of course I have — when I was sick? Don’t you remember?” His voice chided me in a guarded intimacy, perhaps because of the presence of the other person. At once I revived, stung to naturalness: “Oh, but that was quite different. That’s why I didn’t even think of it.”

“Look, I must go now, darling.”

“Are you going to be late — Because if not—” I was eager.

“I can’t say. I don’t think so. Because there are a lot of things I should do this afternoon that I won’t be able to. Oh, and Isa phoned; she wants us to eat there. So if I’m late I’ll go straight there. If I’m not home by half-past five, say … And you can go up when you feel like it, she’ll be home all afternoon, she said.”

“Oh, tonight” I said.

“Why, we weren’t doing anything?”

“No. All right.” I’m not sure that I feel like Isa, I wanted to say.

I did fall asleep. I lay down on our bed with the blue quilt over my feet and thought: When I get up in about half an hour I’ll phone her and tell her we can’t come, I’d already made some other arrangement, and then I’ll phone him and tell him. The sun, filtering through the net curtains, warmed the crown of my head through my hair; the woman next door had turned off the radio and a warm space of silence hung above the surge of traffic.

When I awoke it was five o’clock. The sun, moved away from the room round to the west, had left five heavy drops of honey trembling on the wall below the ventilator brick. Opening my eyes on these I had the familiar confusion that follows a spell of sleep at an unaccustomed hour, felt all the rooms where I had slept rush past my mind before I could seize and steady myself into this one, and then jumped up with a sense of panic. I had the telephone receiver in my hand before I remembered whom I had to ring up and why.

Well, it was too late to put her off now. A little sick and dazed from getting up too quickly, the nausea transposed itself into a reaction against the thought of going to Isa’s that evening. I thought: I’ll phone Paul now and work out some way of getting out of it.

“He’s left, I’m afraid. He went out about half an hour ago.” It was a new voice; must be the girl who had taken my job.

“Have you any idea where he went?” I asked.

“Just a minute—” She was eager to please, in her newness. “Someone says he said he was going to the Community Center.”

“Which one?”

“The Richardson.”

“Thank you very much.” I was just thinking, Now is the number 52-8529 or 92, when the telephone jangled under my hand. Instantly, I was sure it was Paul. Urgently I said: “Hullo—”

Laurie’s mild, slow voice, the voice of a fat man, answered. “Helen — hullo …” We exchanged pleasantries, commented on the uneventful way the day had passed off. “Is your man there? I want a word in his ear.”

“I was just about to phone him. He’s at the Richardson Center.”

“Oh, blast him. I want to speak to him right away.”

“Well, why don’t you phone him there?” I said. “I was going to.

“No, I can’t,” Laurie said, “I can’t explain. … But I can’t tell him what I want to tell, over the phone. I was going to come over to your flat, if he’d been home.” He laughed. “Don’t think I’m crazy.”

For some reason, I felt vaguely embarrassed. “Well, I don’t know what to suggest. I don’t know when he’ll be back. And if I can’t get him before he leaves the Richardson, he’ll go straight to Isa’s. We’re supposed to be eating there. — You could drop in there later, and see.”

“No,” he laughed again, a little irritated at having to keep up a mystery. “It’ll be too late. Might be, even now, as he’s already in the township. — Well I’ll have to take a chance on saying what I have to say in some sort of guarded way over the phone. Give me the number, will you? And you don’t mind waiting five minutes so that I can ring him first? I’ll tell him to ring you, if you like.”

“Yes, do that. The number’s 52-8529.” I was suddenly sure of this. We both rang off. I was tingling with a vaguely alarmed curiosity. But although he had made it clear that it was not from me, but from the telephone, that he was withholding an explanation of the message he wanted to give Paul, I, too, was irritated by the mystery. — He’s getting like Edna and all the rest, creating for himself the importance of dark secrets. Paul won’t thank him for it anyway; he’ll laugh.

The telephone rang again almost immediately. “Look—” said Laurie, “there’s no reply from the place.” “Of course. The switchboard must be closed. Operator keeps ordinary office hours, there,” I remembered. Laurie said: “D’you think he might still be there?”

“Very likely.”

“Or he might be on his way home?”

I laughed. “Sound deduction!” But Laurie ignored it. “I think I’ll take a chance and go out there,” he said. “That’s if I ever find the place.”

“Oh, it’s easy, you can’t miss it. When you turn off the main road you keep turning to the left, three times, and then once right past the Apostolic Faith church, it’s a funny little place with a silver-painted roof.” I stopped myself suddenly. “Laurie, take me with you. Please. Come and pick me up? I’ve been in all day and I’ve nothing to do till Paul comes. I wasn’t going to Isa’s anyway, that’s what I want to talk to him about.”

“Well, at least you know where this place is,” he said. “—All right. If you really want to. But be ready. I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

Laurie’s car was a long narrow English model, very beautifully cared-for. His fat body sat in it as incongruously as a sack of potatoes dumped in a boudoir. “Just give it a gentle tug,” he said as I pulled the door in behind me; the door closed with an oiled click. I felt suddenly the pleasant relief of being out, anywhere at all, in the air and the moving streets, after the confines of the flat. “It’s about Fanyana, of course,” he apologetically confided at once, as if he was sure he was only confirming what I must have guessed. “I heard today on good authority that they’re watching him. They have to be able to lay their hands on a few ‘inciters to public violence’ when they need ’em, to prove what an efficient police force they are. And Fanyana’s one. He’s only got to wiggle his little finger.” Laurie demonstrated, moving free of the steering wheel a white, dry-skinned hand blotted with the brownish marks of some liver ailment. “If Paul’s got any sense, he must keep away from him. It’d be a much more serious thing for Paul if he were arrested as the inciter of an inciter—” He laughed, moving his shoulders which overflowed the curved back of the seat. “You know how they are — they make up their minds you’re an inciter, so you’re an inciter — What can you do? You could have been teaching Fanyana how to embroider. … You’re an inciter. So. Go and argue with them.”

“Oh, but it’s all right,” I said, “nothing’s happened. There haven’t been any incidents to be blamed on anyone.”

“No, but I think Paul shouldn’t be seen even talking to Fanyana today.”

I shrugged. “He’s probably doing that now.” I couldn’t help feeling that Laurie was getting excited over something that would be no news to Paul; he knew that the police were interested in Fanyana, and had been for some time.