William Gaddis - J R

— Depreciated acceleration, you don’t know what it means it doesn’t mean anything, you…

— So why should I have to know exactly what it means? The contents of the portfolio came dumped abruptly to the radiator top — I mean why should we pay this here lawyer to know something if we already know it? and he stooped to the floor for an envelope smudged with penciled notes.

— Did you send away for him too?

— Didn’t I tell you how we got him hey? See when I thought we might get screwed on…

— And will you stop saying we? I wasn’t even…

— I know, I forgot to tell you how we got him, see I just read all these job ads in the Times till I found one of this company which sounded real professional see so I copied it and put in my box number instead, this here Mister Piscator didn’t you get this letter from him? Because this is just this here carbon copy he sent me of it when I told him on the telephone he should write all this stuff to you at the office because you were handling it there for me like this branch, you know? So when he says he can get all these figures on Eagle Mills off their accountants for those ideas you got me off that smartass broker with all the heads which hey I meant to tell you, you know he said I’d never see a nickel on this Alberta and Western debenture? Well right after they put out another one called series C I got this here interest payment on series B if he’s so smart. And like he told you Ace was like toilet paper the price of it just doubled right after this progress report that said they expect to pay this dividend and they offered me twenty cents a share which I only paid like ten for so I got this whole bunch more, I mean I’d like to know how many stocks he’s got which their price doubles that quick boy. Anyway you didn’t bring this here letter from Piscator?

— No I didn’t even…

— Okay that’s okay because I got this here copy, see so anyway remember where he says all this stuff about generating cash and leasebacks and hey look, see? Where it says accelerated depreciation? When I just said that you said it didn’t mean anything?

— Well that’s not what you said, you said…

— I did too, I said…

— No you didn’t, you said something like…

— I did too.

— You… Somewhere behind him a toilet flushed. — Look, all of this is just…

— No no okay don’t get mad, I mean look remember here where he says from premil, preliminary figures their net worth is in the neighborhood of eight hundred twenty-six mil, wait where’s the dot, thousand rather, thousand dollars of which an estimated six hundred forty thousand dollars is in the net property account which once he sees these tax assessments and stuff you were supposed to get off Hopper…

— This is what I’ve been trying to give you for the last five minutes, here. Now will you…

— Hey is this stuff about this pension fund in here too hey? He tore open the soiled manila envelope — see because if Eagle Mills is so old this here pension fund ought to be real old too see so…

— Wait till you see your employees.

— What do you mean?

— I mean did it ever occur to you that a lot of them might be getting real old along with everything else?

— So what.

— So instead of accelerated depreciation and a whole bunch of tax credits they’re almost ready to retire and draw their pensions, what do you think a pension fund is for.

— Oh yeah… he wedged a sneaker into the radiator to shape a precarious lap where he shook out the papers, — I didn’t think of that, see because we have to work something to like pry loose some cash like Piscator says here so we can…

— Stop it look what kind of a lawyer do you expect to get in the mail anyhow, these people who’ve worked all their lives for miserable wages so they can finally retire on a miserable pension and this, this Piscator thinks you can take that too?

— No wait hey, see that’s not the…

— I don’t want to hear it, just let me settle these expenses and get out of the whole idiotic…

— No but wait a second hey, I mean who’s taking it off them? Because like what good is this here pension fund doing just sitting there if we can like put it to work for them to get this here acquisition, you know?

— No and I don’t…

— Right here on the next page where he says about getting this acquisition of this here brewery.

— There’s no brewery it’s a textile mill, now look here’s the list of expenses I…

— No it’s this acquisition of it off these two old brothers in wait a second, Wisconsin or Minneapolis or someplace…

— No now stop, just stop for a minute! This, this whole thing has to stop somewhere don’t you understand that?

— No but holy, I mean that’s the whole thing Bast otherwise what good is this neat tax loss carryforward and all these here tax credits and all, I mean that’s all Eagle is and see where Piscator says here Eagle probably has this here limited charter so they can’t buy this brewery but if the pension fund could like buy the brewery stock and the dividends could go right in it and cut down what the company has to put in see then we…

— Stop it! Look aren’t things in enough of a mess with a broken down textile mill without getting into a broken down brewery?

— What do you mean broken down! I mean holy, I mean you sound like you didn’t hardly read this at all I mean they have these earnings of like a million dollars a year look, and where it says two million dollars in excess working capital see? where the asking price is five, seven two six, one three…

— But five that’s, look that’s five million, that’s five million dollars! It’s just, even if it wasn’t just numbers on paper do you think there’s five million dollars in the whole town of Union Falls?

— I know see that’s why we have to work some deal where it isn’t all cash because like if we…

— All right look, look if somebody had something with two dollars already in it and it earned a dollar a week why would he want to sell it for five dollars? In three weeks you…

— No but see that’s earnings before taxes that’s the whole thing, I mean didn’t you read this part Bast? See because like if you can put it all together and write off all these here losses of Eagle against all these profits of like this here brewery then you get to keep them, I mean like otherwise you get screwed out of everything by these taxes like these two old brothers see they had all these profits which they didn’t collect them on account of this here tax so now when they do collect them they’d have this tremendous tax which is this undistributed profits tax, see? See so now they’re scared if one of them dies the other would really get screwed, but if they just sell the whole thing then all they have to pay is this here capital gains tax which is only like a half of a half, I mean don’t you even remember this part hey?

— No.

— But how come because holy, I mean this is the whole…

— Because I didn’t read it, I didn’t read any of it. I didn’t even open it. Now if you’ll just…

— But, but holy, but I mean how come you didn’t even open it?

— Because when I came back from that trip last night there was mail everywhere letters, magazines, books I haven’t even…

— Wait what about one from X–L Lithograph Company, I mean was there this letter from…

— I told you I don’t know! I don’t know what any of it is I, do you think I came in and sat right down over that pile of trash in the middle of look, a friend of mine had just had an accident when I came in if I’d been there, if I’d been there when he…

— No but holy shit Bast this is serious, I mean like I’m sorry about your friend and all but holy shit this is like five million dollars and I mean where I’m paying your expenses for like this here trip and helping you out so you can…