William Gaddis - J R

— Look don’t read it all now, I just brought it so you could…

— No that’s okay, came through the flurry of paper, — page five, end of the baseball season approaches the hometown Eagles have racked up another wait, here it is, ilar rumors in an exclusive statement to the Union Falls Weekly Messenger, the youthful representative of the downstate financial interests Mister Edwerd Bast asserted hey see? how they spelled it? See so you can just…

— They got hold of one of those idiotic cards before I…

— And like how come everybody’s always giving them these exclusive statements hey.

— Because there’s nobody else to give them to, now…

— Bast asserted that although present plans remain somewhat indefinite, he knew of no park or speedway being contemplated for the area at this time boy that’s no shit, a public park boy. Mister Bast, whose associate was unable to accompany him on his whirlwind visit due to is that me hey?

— Who else would it be? Now will you just read that later and…

— Okay but just let me finish this part hey, press of urgent demands in the New York city area, appeared somewhat surprised himself at the swift turn of events. Declining to discuss financial details related to the takeover, Mister Bast stressed the investment nature of his associate’s interest in Eagle Mills, hastening to reassure the many Eagle employees among loyal Weekly Messenger readers that he saw no reason for apprehension at this time. Hardly fitting the description of the hard driving financial interests he represents, Mister Bast’s modest and courteous manner won him many friends on his short visit. When not occupied with the demands of business he enjoys cultural and artistic pursuits, and music being the hobby Mister Bast enjoys most his visit fortunately coincided with the long awaited fall concert of no wait a second…

— I said you could read that later! now…

— No but see I have to see what you said up there. Following a repast of fruit cup…

— That’s all I said! now will you…

— No I’m almost to the bottom hey, roast turkey with giblet gravy accompanied by candle salad, the famed Union House specialty of pineapple ring with standing banana stuffed with peanut butter topped by marshmallow whip, Mister Bast accompanied by his hosts Mister and Mrs Hopper and son Bunky repaired to the basement of the former Masonic Temple to how come you repaired the basement of the…

— Will you give me that!

— Temple to enjoy selections rendered by the Eagle Mills Employees’ Glee Club including Stout Hearted Men, their famed colored light rendition of God Bless America and the perennial favorite Okla hey!

— Well I said put it down! Now…

— Okay but you didn’t need to rip it, I mean it ripped right through this picture of this here big brick boy it looks like a prison hey, what’s this over here.

— That’s where the offices are.

— How come if the mill’s over here the office is way over here?

— Look I wasn’t there when they built it, I don’t…

— And like what’s this here long thing with all these doors and hey is this a train track? they’ve got a train there?

— They’re just rusty tracks, and that’s a garage.

— What do they need this tremendous garage for.

— They don’t, they let the town keep all its trucks and snowplows there and…

— What’s this big place over here where it says Eagles Visitors.

— It’s where they play softball, now look…

— Who.

— The company softball team, they…

— That’s these hometown Eagles? What does the company need a softball team for.

— Because they like softball! I had to sit through three games of softball, now look. These papers from Mister Hopper…

— But why should they get paid to play softball?

— Who said they got paid! They just play weekends and after work, now…

— Okay but it’s on company property isn’t it?

— Well what’s wrong with…

— No but see that’s the whole thing of when we sell everything off on this here leaseback deal, you know?

— No, I don’t know! All I know is I told those people up there they didn’t have to worry, you saw it right there in the paper, and now if you think you can…

— No but see all you do is you sell it then you lease it right back like, see that’s why they call it leaseback.

— Well then why sell it in the first place, if you…

— Because that’s what you do. See I read in this thing where you sell everything and lease it right back off the people you sold it to on this like ninety-nine years lease because I mean who cares what’s going to happen in ninety-nine years, see so then you stay right in business and get to keep losing money just like before only now you have all this here cash. But see what I was just thinking was like why should we lease back this here ballfield and these garages and this whole building of all these here offices if we…

— Look if you sell people’s offices how do you expect them to…

— No but see look… he pieced the paper together on the radiator top, — see instead of they’re probably like running back and forth from the mills to the offices all the time and calling each other up on the telephone if we just move all their desks and stuff over here in the mills someplace then the office building and this here ballfield makes like this one parcel which then you…

— Look this is, this is ridiculous even if you really could do things like this, I just told you how they feel up there and…

— What, like they’d get pissed off if we sold their ballfield? So if we sell it to the bank let the bank let them play softball and like with these here garages, why should we pay taxes and leases and all so the town can keep some broken down trucks there, I mean let somebody else let them. Like I mean selling something doesn’t change it into something else and like if the bank won’t let them play softball or park their trucks let them get pissed off at the bank, you know? he got a sneaker up on the radiator and started to work on a knot. — So anyway when we get all this here cash…

— And what makes you think anybody’s going to give you all this cash you keep talking about is just as…

— No but see that’s the thing because like even if they buy it off you for way under this book value of what it’s worth see then they get this here real bargain and you get to subtract what they pay you from that and you get this whole other bunch of tax credits see which then you can…

— Look can’t you understand? Just because you read about these things it doesn’t mean you can just step in there and do them even if you could, you can’t even if you could, you…

— How come?

— Because these are real people up there that’s how come! A lot of them who owned the stock still can’t believe it’s not worth anything and even the ones who owned bonds, a lot of them are old and when they first bought the bonds it was almost like they were lending money to, to someone in the family. And the ones who work there, even if you could sell their ballfield and put their offices in the mills how long do you think they’d…

— No but look hey I mean holy, I mean this isn’t any popularity contest hey. Besides what could they do?

— Well they could, they could quit they could…

— Okay well then see we wouldn’t have to fire anybody because that’s mostly what costs so much anyway is all these here people, you know? See because if we could like get them out of there and get this here new machinery I read this thing where you get this new machinery which then you divide how long will it take to wear out into how much did it cost you which then you get to take that off taxes too see? Only the neat thing is see they let you like pretend it’s going to wear out two or three times as fast so you’re getting this big bunch of tax credits right off, they call it depreciated acceleration or something only the thing is you can’t do it with people see so…