William Gaddis - J R

— I haven’t ended up.

— I heard you’d married.

— Did you.

— I thought, Jack what a waste I always knew you cared so, so strongly so bitterly I just never knew what it was you cared about…

— It would take a woman to say that wouldn’t it, something like that.

— I didn’t mean, no, no never mind I’m, I’ll wait up there for the train you’ll want to sit back here won’t you, in the smoker, it was nice to see you…

— Sorry I bothered you Stella, next time…

— Please, stop it!

— What, the minute you see me you start to…

— Well what are you doing here! What are you doing in a town like this the first time I’ve seen you in, in all this time and you’re wandering around a train platform with your old books and papers your hair messed and your, a hole in your trouser seat you look…

— Tell you the truth Stella it’s a little embarrassing I’m, you see I’m out here with a repertory company plays, you know, same God damned plays over and over I’m just coming from rehearsal’s why I’m still in this costume…

— What a waste…

— Little comedy we’re putting on now I could probably get you the ingenue lead just get up there and play yourself, doing it right down here at the firehouse it’s sort of a grim fairy tale called Our Dear Departed Mem… she put a hand on his arm as the train shuddered in beside them and he turned and looked at her, down the length of her. — All right come on, he passed his hand down her waist — I’ll ride you into town… and they entered the car out of sight behind its filthy windows as its lights too receded and became mere punctuations in this aimless spread of evening past the firehouse and the crumbling Marine Memorial, the blooded barberry and woodbine’s silent siege and the desirable property For Sale, up weeded ruts and Queen Anne’s laces to finally mount the sky itself where another blue day brought even more the shock of fall in its brilliance, spread loss like shipwreck on high winds tossing those oaks back in waves blown over with whitecaps where their leaves showed light undersides and dead branches cast brown sprays to the surface, straining at the height of the pepperidge tree and blowing down the open highway to find voice in the screams of the electric saws prospering through Burgoyne Street — like the Erinyes… came in a mutter up the stepped concrete to the station platform where Mrs Joubert, hemming her throng between the arriving shudder of the train and a billboard freshly inscribed Party tonite at Debbys cespool breng youre own spoon and straws, caught her lapels against a gust.

— All right boys and girls stay together, the car on the left here stop pushing! Can’t you get the door oh, can you help us? Mister…

— Bast yes, yes I’d be…

— That door there yes thank you, if you can help me get them settled? or are you with the others…

— Me? No the other what, I’m…

— Up ahead there, the other teachers it’s a conference or something, she said seated now, smoothing the skirt toward her knee with long fingers, — why they couldn’t spare anyone to help with this field trip I think it’s something to do with the union…

— No I’m not with them no, no I’m not with anybody… he came down beside her and peaked his trousers at the knee as though to rouse some memory of a crease there — in fact I’m, I mean after what happened yesterday I guess I’m not really even with the school anymore, if you…

— That? Her profile broke with a smile turned full on him, — why it was just a silly accident Mister Bast, who could…

— No I know it but, well I mean some people might think I did it on purp…

— I’m sure no one would dream of it and I haven’t even thanked you have I, for picking it all up it was only three pennies short.

— Oh the, that money yes is that what you…

— It’s for this trip today and I do appreciate your help…

— I’m glad to… he came to slow rest against her unyielding thigh, — I’m just going in for…

— Boys sit down up there! If you’d just sit up there behind those two boys, I don’t know what they’re up to but to keep anything from starting.

— Oh. You mean now?

— Yes just to keep, oh! Never mind I’ll get it… the shuddering glide of the train drew her hand after the lipstick rolling under the seat ahead.

— Hey quick look.

— What.

— I saw one again, watch when she’s bending down…

— So what you, oh hi Mister Bast? You going in with us?

— No.

— Where you going.

— I’m just going in.

— How come.

— Some business I have to take care of.

— What kind of business.

— Just my own business now turn around and face the front.

— No but I just wanted to ask you, what does maneuver mean? It’s m, a, n…

— It means to, to do something in a certain way to get something done. Now turn around.

— Oh, J R muttered, sinking back so that all of him evident over the seat was a pencil stub digging at the rough tag of hair lapping his collar. — He doesn’t know either… and the complex of legs, feet tapping, twisting, wedged into seat hinges, hands scratching, picking, resumed as the train slipped forward.

— Where does it say it.

— Brilliantly executed K’ung-p’a maneuvers require no bodily contact, and yet K’ung-p’a can be deadly, crippling…

— That’s a lot of crap.

— Oh yeah? Then look, you pay nothing if you can’t disarm one hoodlum, send another flying through the air, and slam a third into the ground, all in a split second of…

— Well, maybe…

— Because K’ung-p’a is deadly beyond imagination, and since attack as well as defense is taught, only a small limited edition has been printed for serious students who must vow never to use it as an aggressor but only as self-defense to protect himself, his friends and his family. We don’t ever want a criminal or hoodlum to be able to buy it because of its deadly power…

— Okay, what do you want for it.

— What’ll you give me.

— This? Yes I want to learn the piano without hours of okay then this, look. Millions of dollars have been paid for rare coins, now you can learn the rare dates and how to identify the rare coins in your possession by obtaining our catalogue, okay?

— Okay. That and what else.

— Rush full information plus three free cosmetic samples, no obligation. Okay?

— Okay.

— Okay, if you give me Scientific method builds powerful muscles hey wait wait, look at that!

— What. That tit?

— No, down here. Original factory-packed new thirty caliber fifteen shot wait no it must be this government surplus crap…

— You want it?

— No I already sent for it, I got it here. It’s mostly crap… and the two heads submerged together over the papers massed on the seat between them, knees rising, feet twisting, fingers gone from picking and scratching to dig through envelopes marked Personal, Here is the Information You Requested, Bonus Offer Inside; flyers headed Immediate Cash Commissions Paid on Every Sale, Prospects and Customers Everywhere, How to Make Big Profits Overseas; letters opening Dear Friend, Dear Sir, Is You Future Worth Five Minutes? Take a Good Look in the Mirror, closing Cordially, Yours for Success, — this one?

— Let’s see.

— Let’s see.

— See? Defense Surplus Sales Office, Fleet Station San Diego, it’s mostly crap. Like what I wanted was this here surplus tank, so they send me this and you look up where it says tank it just says Tank, tip, fuel, four fifty gal, aluminum, aircraft, repairs required. It’s just this lousy used airplane gas tank, see?

— Let’s see, what’s all that stuff.