Hwang Sok-Yong - The Shadow of Arms

“It’s all right. Those who know me are staying on the far side of the jungle. All the members of my cell are dead, and I’m safe as long as I stay away from Hue. The reason I want to join the air force is that that way I can look after Mother. You’re no longer at home, and if I’m away too, Mother will be crying all the time. I talked it over with Lei. I should stay here and take care of the family. Then you can concentrate on your own work and will feel relieved, won’t you?”

Quyen was touched but concealed his feelings behind a puff of smoke. Minh continued:

“If you’re assigned to Da Nang air base, since it’s under the American command, they say you can get away with duty on paper only, right?”

Quyen was well aware of the various options. One could make personnel records showing enlistment in the air force followed by an immediate dispatch to the air base, and then pay a certain sum each month to the officer in charge of the detachment to avoid having to show up for ordinary duty. All that was necessary was to appear in uniform once in a while whenever headquarters ordered a rare assembly of the entire detachment for inspection. Better yet, there was very little chance of roll call checks for the units assigned as augmentation to the American forces. There were too many variables and movements in those groups, what with deaths in action, recuperation leaves, special dispatches, redeployments, not to mention a fair number of AWOLs. The situation was so hectic it was hard even to match up the individuals assigned with their rated specialties. And it would be cheaper to have Minh’s name registered for a whole year. But most of all it would be a good way to win his mind.

“All right. Join the air force. I’ll take the proper steps. And I’ll have a military ID made for you. You just stay put next to Mother and before you know it you’ll be discharged as a medic.”

“Thank you.”

Minh thought of bringing up the subject of getting a job, but he decided not to. Too many requests all at once would be likely to arouse suspicion in the meticulous Quyen. Minh changed the subject.

“Brother, I was told about your marriage. I heard from Lei. It seems to have hurt Mother’s feelings, and Lei’s, too.”

“What do you think?”

“Think of what?”

“Of she and I living together?”

“Well, if she’s what Mother and Lei say she is, then I agree with them. You, my big brother, being married to a foreign bar hostess?”

“Shut up, Mimi’s not that kind of woman. She was working as an office clerk in the PX. And I. . I’m sorry to say, our relation is not like a typical Vietnamese marriage. We’re living together now, but we may part, you never know. She’s planning to go abroad, too, to Singapore or Bangkok, with our family. That’s why we got married on paper. That’s all.”

“But. . if she doesn’t love you and you’re only a means for her to get out of Vietnam, then. .”

Quyen did not feel like arguing about his private life with his brother. He glanced at his watch. Minh spoke again: “I wonder whether you’d let me. .”

“What?”

“I’d like to meet her today. What do you say?”

“I don’t especially like the idea.”

“Don’t worry. I won’t babble. Who knows? I might get a good impression and help to change Mother’s mind about her.”

“When it comes to Mother. . I’ve given up. Later, when we all go abroad and if she lives happily among us, then she’ll understand it all. I have a goal.”

“I know. You’re planning to make money with the help of General Liam, right?”

Quyen whirled about to check Minh’s expression in order to make sure he wasn’t being sarcastic, but Minh wore a serious look. It was, after all, the expression of a man who had learned something about the world.

“Right,” Quyen replied, “and you remember how you used to attack and insult me because of that? Now you seem to have had a taste of real life in this world. This war, I’m afraid, will not end in our generation. It’s gone on for over sixty years already. In the Diem period I saw countless cases of rich and influential families slipping out of the country one after another, after first sending children to study abroad. We’ll leave here, too. And to do that we need money. From the time I graduated from college and entered the officer candidate school I’ve had my heart set on getting a connection of this kind. It’s an opportunity a field officer couldn’t dream of. Now, up where I am with General Liam, we can fold and unfold everything in Quang Nam Province. It is a rare chance. Our family needs dollars.”

“How much?”

“A million dollars, at least, I figure.”

Minh was not in the least surprised at the amount. A thousand discharge certificates would do. He had heard a rumor of a police superintendent’s wife who had staked several soldiers as a bet in a poker game. Or, a hundred passports to Europe would bring in a million dollars.

“How long will it take?”

“Well. . I’ll have to manage it before my boss gets promoted to a Cabinet position. Two more years, maybe.”

“I’ll help too. After all, it’s for our family.”

Minh’s voice was flat, and Quyen raised his hands and grasped Minh by the shoulders.

“You, you rotten one. You worried me so much. . if I’d known they’d make a man out of you like this I’d have sent you off to them a long time ago.”

Feeling a bit awkward at what he had said, Quyen looked at his watch once again.

“I have to get back. There’s an important document that has to be approved this afternoon. Anyway, it’s all turned out fine. Don’t worry too much, I’ll take care of everything. I’ll drop in again in the evening.”

Quyen unlatched the door. He was about to leave but stopped and took out his wallet from the pocket of his jacket.

“Here, have some spending money. And don’t stay out late.”

Quyen handed five ten-dollar notes to Minh.

“If you take these to Le Loi market you can get at least fifteen hundred piasters. Why don’t you get some little gifts for Lei and Mi?”

Minh quietly accepted the military currency. Quyen then left without a word to the other members of the family. Out through the window over the hedge Minh could see him getting into the Jeep. He murmured to himself, “Brother, I’m sorry.”

There was a sound of the engine turning and the Jeep took off.

“Is he gone?” asked Mi with a look of concern on her face. “Did you argue?”

“No.”

“Is it really going to be all right?”

“Big Brother will take care of it. You can forget about it now.”

“You must be hungry, eh? Lei will be home any minute. You can eat with her.”

“Sister, by any chance do you know where Big Brother lives?”

“Why should I trouble myself about such a thing? Lei may know, though. Once when Mother fainted she went there with Lieutenant Kiem to show the way.”

“Mother fainted?”

“Yes, on the day Big Brother packed up and moved out. You know, like she did with Father in the old days.”

The two of them went back out to the living room. Seeing the flowers in the front yard getting limp from the blazing sun, Mi headed outside with a sprinkling can to water the plants. Minh was stalking and swatting flies that had slipped inside the house.

“Are you really back home for good?”

“I said I am. .”

“I thought you’d never return, like my husband.”

“You’re not pleased to see me back, are you?”

“No, it’s not that. It’s just you seem changed somehow.”

“I’m still the same old me.”

Mi gave Minh a searching look and whispered, “I’m proud of my husband. When the children grow up I’ll tell them about their father. He was on the district committee in Quang Nai Province. He came back from the jungle from time to time. That’s how she was born,” Mi said, pointing over at the three-year-old girl sleeping in a hammock. “Most Vietnamese women think the way I do — they’d rather see their husbands off in the jungle instead of staying home living in disgrace. I hate Quyen.”