William Gaddis - Carpenter's Gothic

She looked up. — Was he, was there a picture of him?

— Picture of him testifying with a bag over his head, still trying to nail his buddies probably why he was trying to get into his room there, pick up the evidence turn them in get off with two years it's not kid stuff Liz. You alone here somebody like that don't know what the hell can happen, get the locks changed keep them locked I don't want him in here.

— It's in the lease Paul that's ridiculous, he has a right to get into that room he's got to get into the house to get in there he could have us put out, we haven't even paid this month's…

— Rent look maybe I won't, maybe I won't. Hold back on it see what happens look, he goes up for two years ten years we don't go down to the bank here and put it in his account how the hell does he know? Up there on the rock pile what the hell can he do? Misprision of treason Liz that's what they had him for he's a God damn traitor, expect me to pay off a God damn traitor?

— Paul honestly, we're not even sure he's the…

— Goes around with a paper bag over his head and these phone calls? Mail from these African countries that weren't there a week ago where you walk down Main Street and some spade cuts your throat for the hell of it? It's not kid stuff Liz how do you know what's in that room, walks right in the house nobody home how do you even know he was here?

— I didn't say nobody was home Paul, I said I wasn't. Madame Socrate he knows Madame Socrate that's where we got her, when I got home she said he'd been here he, she said he was fâché when he couldn't get into the…

— Fashay look got to do something about her Liz, that kind of money can't even answer the phone? She do the windows? He got to the nearest of them, ran the wet streak of a thumb down it — so God damn gloomy out there you can't tell the wait, car coming must be my car where's my bag.

— By the door where you left it.

Lights climbed the alcove windows, glowed past the one where he stood and a black car made the slow turn under the streetlight. — Night like this probably ran off the road somewhere… he turned with the letters he'd been flourishing as though they'd just appeared in his hand, — stuff at B & G Storage say they'll auction it off if the bill's not paid. Liz? Stuff we've got stored at…

— I heard you. What do you think they'll get for your stones.

— Not just stones look don't start that, stuff of yours there from Bedford eighty ninety thousand dollars there they want nine hundred ten dollars, God damn ransom nine hundred and wait, Liz? Just remembered look, have you got any cash?

Running short all I've got's this check on the Pee Dee Citizens Bank not even sure it's good, she spells hundred h u n e r d sat through the whole funeral eating Cheez Doodles, Liz? that fifty I left you?

— You left me money for Madame Socrate.

— Fine great fifty dollars get the God damn windows washed can't even tell the difference, what…

— Well you wanted them cleaned and she, and they're cleaned! People work hard that's what you pay them for, their work that's all they have to sell so you pay them for it or they, or you do it yourself if you can't tell the difference why didn't you do them yourself!

— No now wait Liz, look…

— No you look! Nine hundred dollars your boxes of stones in a tomb there they might as well be in a tomb you look, the other one the other bill in your hand flowers two hundred and sixty dollars? What flowers where, somebody spends half the day on these windows and you're spending two hundred sixty dollars for a floral arrangement?

— What the hell's got into you Liz… He came down slowly on the frayed love seat, brought a shined and tasseled imitation of elegance up to patient rest on his knee, — did you look at it? He opened the bill and then held it out to her, his face as true as his footwear — see who it was sent to? Cettie Teakell?

— I, no I…

— Didn't have time to tell you, I sent them out in your name I didn't have time to tell you… and he watched her, kind as a cheap new shoe, watched her catch breath, catch the trimmed fullness of her lip still tighter, — just thought you'd want her to know that you…

— No Paul I'm sorry she said, her breath gone again, her eyes coming up but unable, they seemed unable to rise past the shoe cocked over his knee till it went down as he gained his feet, regained all she'd lost there.

— Just you get ahead of me sometimes Liz, he tossed a match across her at the fireplace, — jump to conclusions. Trying to get things together here look, getting things lined up everything's just about ready to fall in place so God damn many pressures why I don't try to tell you everything I don't want to upset you. Try to give you the big picture you take one corner of it and run, jump like I said you jump to some conclusion the whole God damn thing falls to pieces like these flowers, I send these flowers you jump to some conclusion we end up arguing about flowers, see what I mean?

— Paul I'm, I said I was sorry I'm not arguing I just didn't…

— Didn't think Liz, you didn't think. Look. Certain things maybe you can't see quite as clear as I can. Maybe you don't want to. Maybe it's just because you don't want to, I can understand that Liz. I can understand that. But it shows through anyhow, kind of a whole negative way of looking at things I get the feeling sometimes you're not quite with me, not backing me up I've got to have the feeling you're behind me Liz. See what I mean? He'd gained his stride, newel to alcove, back to the newel post punctuated by abrupt puffs of smoke, looking out the front door — incidentally. Next time you get a chance to talk to Edie, see her picture all over the papers with Victor Sweet you ought to tell her to slow down Liz. Making a God damn fool of herself, Sweet stands as much chance for that nomination as Uncle Remus, he gets it he's got as much chance to win as the tar baby. You see Teakell out there with his Food for Africa program he's got the whole third world by the short hair Sweet couldn't carry Lenox Avenue, why the hell old man Grimes doesn't step in there and put the brakes on her himself, you follow me? He trailed smoke to the alcove windows, — see here? She didn't even get in the corners. Fifty dollars to clean the windows she can't even do the corners, problem's not just Edie Liz it's where Sweet's getting his real backing, tied in with all these peace groups it's got to be coming from the outside you know what that means. Tar Edie with the same God damn brush while we've got Ude here all over the front page with his Africa missions where he can deliver the votes you follow me? story right here in the paper? You mean you didn't read it?

— Well not, no I…

— Just gave it to you why do you think I gave it to you, told you they put their best feature writer on it didn't I? Thought you read it while I was in the shower this is what I mean Liz, feeling I get sometimes you're not right in there with me where the hell do you think I've been for two days, look… in a flush of newsprint — whole God damn page listen. The innocent boyhood dreams of Wayne Fickert, which once took shape like the white, billowy clouds floating against the brilliant heavens smiling down on the sparkling blue waters of the Pee Dee river, will never come to pass for the boy who dreamed them. At ten o'clock this morning, little Wayne was buried here on the sunny, flower strewn bank of the river he loved, in a ceremony which the Reverend Elton Ude, the dynamic leader of Christian Recovery for America's People, called the opening salvo in God's eternal war against the forces of superstition and ignorance throughout the world and elsewhere, and the recovery of the Christian values represented by the simple, God fearing folk gathered there before him in the bank who, on, should be on the bank not in the bank, a crowd estimated by an official spokesman at, must mean me, at just over six thousand, who have made America what it is today see how she gets the whole flavour of the thing in there? Liz?