William Gaddis - A Folic Of His Own

— They found him right there in the house that one morning with her body on the kitchen floor didn't they? It was all over the papers I can still see the headline HEIRESS SLAIN IN SWANK SUBURB, he tried to make it look like a burglar broke in while he was away and killed her with a…

— That was nonsense Trish, a lot of people thought that but it was nonsense, the kind they make up to sell papers, she simply had a heart attack, that's what came out later but you don't sell papers with a story about high blood pressure and a heart attack when the blunt instrument that hit her was really the corner of the table she hit her head on when she fell, anyhow he didn't find her there first the maid did. There were napkins and silver all over the floor from the kitchen drawer where they said she kept her household money and a check showed up cashed in Haiti when the maid disappeared that's what happened, that's what really happened Harry told me but it's not the way you sell papers.

— Well if you could have seen him out there at her funeral Teen, hard as nails I mean he looked like death was something he'd seen every day but she always went for the wrong men didn't she, like her Buddhist brother who was killed in a plane crash and her father who was an absolute monster hardly gave her the time of day because she told me once when she tried to stand up to him how he simply froze up and made a big show of pouring out his affection on these awful little Jack Daniel's terriers…

— My God can't we go a little faster? Dawdling along like this will you tell the driver to…

— Pookie. Pookie? Will you tell Jerry to put down the phone for a minute and tell the driver to, my God where is he! Pookie? No! Pookie where, we forgot him! Tell him, Jerry tell him tell the driver to go back!

— No! No we're not going back no!

— Teen it will only take a few minutes, we can't just abandon him with nobody to…

— Trish we're not going back! Oscar's there, they can feed him.

— But the poor little, Jerry call him. Hang up and call Oscar.

— Wait, hello? Hold on. Talking to my secretary Trish, she's reading me a brief and I can't…

— If you think that's more important than poor little, I'll just have to send the car back out for him, tell the driver to hurry then will you? I've really got to get home myself if I'm going to Aspen tomorrow for Lettie's party I forgot to tell you Jerry, you can get a postponement can't you, I'll have to let my maid do my nails now because everything in the morning will be such a mad rush and God knows what shape T J is in, I didn't mention this earlier Teen but I think that he drinks, are you having a nap? settling back with a knee outthrust for the hand slipping over it to disappear under her skirt and come to rest there lulled by the drone of the car and the drone of the voice on the phone as the fields gave way to a village and then houses and then villages and houses closer together and finally to towns and houses openly coupling in unrelieved ugliness now mounting in unrelieved layers of windows, and windows, all gone with the dive into the tunnel wakening on the sudden — Where are we?

— Thank God, yes. We're here.

— To your place first Teen, Jerry? will you tell the driver? and as they drew up, — call me Teen, won't you?

— Thanks Trish, thanks… breaking through the collision of doorman and chauffeur, biting her lip at her polished steel reflection in the elevator, hunting her keys and giving it up at the door, pressing the bell, again, — Harry? as it came open, — well thank God.

— Well. You're here he said, stooping for the towel that had gone to the floor fending off her embrace in the quick disguise of returning it, or was it the other way about? but she was already past him there like some naked statuary as she filled her gaze with the light and wonder of the place, unbounded light fading in the late pale sky pierced by lights coming on in the fenestrated heights of nearby buildings like some snug welkin all its own. — I didn't expect you.

— Well obviously. I mean you could have let me know couldn't you? She turned and dropped her raincoat on a chair and seemed to narrow her vision to take notice of him standing there knotting the towel at his waist. — Have you any idea what it's been like out there?

— Yes but, how did you…

— Your friend Mister Mudpye came out with Trish on a lark and I finally dug it out of them. We thought you knew they kept babbling, we thought you knew, it was like pulling teeth, I mean how do you think it made me look? I've called I've left messages here I've called your office and all your idiotic secretary would tell me was he's in court while I'm out there running an absolute madhouse losing my own mind 'waiting to hear from you after the way you tore out of there with a few drinks and these pills you've been taking I knew it would happen, I knew something like this would happen didn't I?

— That's not when it happened Christina, I…

— The way you tore out of there and left me to deal with Oscar and this mess you got him into it was bound to happen sooner or later wasn't it? and you couldn't even bother to call me? simply pick up the phone and call me?

— Look Christina, there's really nothing you could have done. Stupid predicament I got myself into no reason I should bother you with it, didn't want to upset you I knew you had your hands full out there nothing you could have done anyhow.

— Didn't want to upset me! My God Harry I'm your wife aren't I? Those two silly people babbling we thought you knew while I stood there like a fool telling me there's not a scratch on the car I mean you could have been lying in the hospital with a broken neck, how was it supposed to make me look? She was taking up cushions from the sofa, from the chairs, pounding them into shape and setting them right — I mean didn't it ever occur to you that I might be worried sick about the shape you were in not hearing a word from you day after day? And now she was turning on lights, one by one bringing the room into crystal concert as the glass expanses inviting the outside world abruptly shut it out with reflections of white walls and black onyx, fluted glass and the furniture and the lamps themselves and — the plants? have you bothered to water them? off to the wet bar in the corner for a pitcher before he could answer for the sudden peal of the phone, — will you get that?

— Probably for me yes, hello? Oh hello, how… she's right here Oscar, just walked in. How are you?

— Here… and she had it, — Oscar…? Well of course I am, what did you… I know it! We were halfway in when we realized it, she… Well we couldn't turn back! She's sending the car back out for it, you can… I don't know when my God, you can just feed it something there's all that boiled chicken isn't there? and just shut it in the kitchen till the… well then just clean it up, you can clean it up can't you? your what? Well take an aspirin, take two aspirins Lily can help you if she's still there can't she? that she saw a mouse in the kitchen? My God Oscar listen I'm exhausted! I've been cooking running errands trying to hold things together for you out there since… Well there's nothing I can do, I mean you know I've got my hands full right here there's nothing I can do, I can't even think about it, I'm… who, Harry? He's fine. He's standing right here looking like the noblest Roman of them all while I… well my God see a doctor then, there's nothing I can do is there? I have to go.

— Christina look, before you…

— Is there anything in the house to eat? She was back at the bar filling the pitcher, — I mean I can't describe what I've already faced today in the way of food, an entire side of inedible smoked salmon and zucchini flowers stuffed with God knows what, he wanted to drive in with us can you imagine that?