William Gaddis - A Folic Of His Own

— It's this real estate lady. She says would we mind if she goes through the house.

— If she, I certainly would mind! Barging in like a, what's she doing here. Who sent her.

— Oscar? I think I heard a car out there.

— Well you did, it's some real estate woman Christina. She wants to go through the house, of all the, just barging in like that?

— They always do. Did you make up your bed? And the sunroom, oh Lily have you put your things away in the…

— She's not coming in Christina! She's not putting one foot in this house, tell her she, where is she. Where is she.

— She said she'll just take a look around outside while we…

— Can't she read? This is private property, can't she read?

— Oscar wait, just try to calm down. That letter from the bank, did you ever do anything about it? About the mortgage, where is it.

— That they sent her here? That's got nothing to do with it Christina. The bank makes those payments right out of my account.

— Well there's a lien against your stupid salary isn't there? Maybe there's one at the bank too, where is it.

— It's over here someplace he muttered, dislodging a heap on the sideboard, and then — what's this. When did this come.

— It came yesterday, I forgot…

— Can't you tell me when these letters come? It's from these people on my Shiloh talk, it might be important, it might be a check…

— My God Oscar, you are a child. How much have they promised you.

— That's not your business Christina. Two hundred dollars, that's not the…

— Well a grand sum like that of course, they…

— I don't understand.

— That they don't pay you when they've never set eyes on you?

— No I, I don't understand…

— Well what is it, they've canceled it? She reached for the letter quivering in his hand but he drew it back, coming down unsteadily on the chair. — Well what is it.

— Dear, it says dear Doctor Crease. We are looking forward to your discussion on the events at Shiloh, and are sure it will contain an inspiring message for us all. While we certainly would not wish to appear to influence your approach, in view of the bitter feelings and prejudices engulfing the Holy Land today we suggest that you may not care to dwell at too much length on the bloodsoaked details of battle, and the slaughter of some thirty thousand by a barbarous enemy before victory and unity were bestowed by the forces of the Lord but at the cost of the glory of Shiloh departing forever. Unfortunately, this emphasis might only serve to add further fuel to the destructive atmosphere echoing down the ages in the voice of the Lord in Jeremiah, Go to Shiloh and see what I did to it for the wickedness of my people, and in the interests of healing the wounds of past generations you might find a more inspiring text in the words of the little child answering the vision that came to him there, Speak, for thy servant heareth…

— Oscar? Try to calm down. Think about it, what…

— But, what are they talking about!

— Well think about it. Who are these people waiting to hear what they think you know about Shiloh, who arranged this thing anyhow.

— I know everything about Shiloh! I know there were twenty thousand casualties not thirty thousand killed, ten thousand on each side they were all raw recruits no, no barbarous enemy, a lecture agency arranged it they take twenty five percent, for writers to give talks and readings…

— The whole thing is ridiculous. If you're a writer you write, why do you think people learned to read in the first place. All this tramping around giving talks and readings, are they all illiterates? You read stories to three year olds, if you're a writer you stay home and write.

— Well I, damn it Christina that's what I'm trying to do! These bills look at them, these lawsuits and these lawyers and these phone calls nobody answers and nobody returns, my car gets stolen and this salary lien and now this idiotic this, this glory of Shiloh departed forever healing the wounds of past generations? If it's madness they want, Go to Shiloh and see what I did to it for the, look! Look, she's out there peeking in the window, that's who sent her, selling the house out from under us when I'm barely back on my feet and I'll stay on my feet I'll, I'll go down there and see what he, what the hell is going on, I'll…

— Oscar for God's sake try to calm down, you're not going anywhere. Put on your magic mittens, genuine simulated Spotskin wear 'em with the furside outside and go down there and confront Father he'll eat you alive. Some poor real estate woman knocks on the door and you…

— Poor! I just saw her car, look out there, look at her car it's a block long it takes up half the driveway, tinted windows and the whole, listen! the door, she's trying to get in!

— She came in a little black car Oscar, it's…

— What in the, look! What in, how did it get in here!

— Teen? echoed down the hall.

— Oh my God… The door clattered, the dog barked — she's here, it's Trish, will you come and help her?

— Teen! in a flurry of mink — how marvelous! The dog barked — no down Pookie, stop it. Stop it! And Oscar, I said stop it! How simply marvelous! on a billow of scent — it's been a thousand years, I didn't dream we'd actually get here, the driver seemed quite lost I don't think he can read signs and then Jerry knew exactly where we were and the minute we saw your frightfully unfriendly sign at the gate of course he'd been here before, isn't it fun?

— Well old sport, emerged from behind the cloud of mink at about her shoulder's height, a hand extended — a small world, eh?

— It's, I, hello…

— Teen? This is Jerry, of course Harry knows him but you've never met have you, he hadn't the faintest notion we were coming here, we were in court on the stroke of ten, Jerry's made me frightfully punctual can you imagine? Waiting simply an eternity in this ghastly room filled with plastic coffee cups and teeming ashtrays and the Daily News all over the floor when they told us the lawyer for Mummy's estate got up and claimed this loathsome little priest who's a witness or something was unavoidably detained on official diocesian business doing God knows how many widows and orphans out of their last crust, I mean of course those weren't his exact words but they got a postponement and it suddenly seemed the perfect chance for this visit I've promised and here we are! I mean I did think of calling ahead, of course there's a phone in the car but Jerry was talking to a client and I thought it would be more fun to surprise you.

— Well you, you certainly did Trish, I thought…

— Will you get me out of this damn thing Jerry? as he reached up behind her to lift the fur away — just throw it anywhere, it's like wearing an animal farm, it was absolutely raw when I came out this morning, could you dream it would be such a beautiful day? shaking herself loose in a flash of diamonds — of course I shouldn't have worn them, they're for evening after all but I thought I should make it quite clear to the court and these estate lawyers and this whole den of thieves that I'm hardly a beggar but simply after my rights, I mean they're the ones who are howling about the money if you could see this unctuous little Father Stepan bleating over Mummy's eternal rest and this pitiful young man Mary's got from legal aid with his homemade sandwich in a paper bag, I'm sure he washes his shirts himself and of course Jerry simply took him to pieces stop it Pookie! Get down, all this glorious fresh air I'm simply ravenous.

— It won't take a minute Trish sit down, how does a little boiled chicken sound with a few…

— Frankly Teen it sounds rather revolting, you needn't bother we've brought something along Jerry? did you tell that savage to bring in the basket? It's why we're a little late, we stopped to pick up Pookie and I had them put together a sort of a picnic it's such a beautiful day I thought we might even have it out of doors, I don't mean that dejeuner sur 1'herbe scene it's a little chilly for the girls to tear off our clothes while Oscar stands about looking every inch the gentleman poet and Jerry of course, can you picture anyone more fastidious? nodding after the midnight blue bumchafer receding up the hall, — I'd thought something in suede but he said something about cows so we settled on silk and thank God for Sulka's, I suggested some sort of yachting insignia for the breast pocket but he doesn't really own one yet and we settled for the plain gold monogram, can you help me with the catch on this bracelet Oscar? You remember that ridiculous child who wanted to wear them out playing field hockey Teen, her father's been arrested in some sort of betting scandal wouldn't you know? squeezing one wrist free, then the other — they're just in the way, I put them on to sort of hide these little bandages but you'd hardly notice them anyway would you.