William Gaddis - A Folic Of His Own

— Just step over here Ma'am so we can, Jim? Where's Jim. Tell him to bring a mop I've got to go wash my hands, tell him to put on gloves.

— Will this blood come out of my, where did she go. No I'd better just burn it, like that floor in the upstairs foyer it will never come out, it's as bad as red wine stains on a marble table people can be so damned careless, simply facing that smirking bitch at my cleaners after the last time she'll come up with cela va devenir une habitude Madame? and have it all over the upper east side, but how thoughtful of you to be here Teen. Always thinking of others.

— No it's Oscar, a car accident, he was run over by…

— But how clever! I mean he can sue for millions can't he, if you read about these marvelous awards they're handing out every day in the papers? Is he still at that dreary writing or teaching business or whatever it was? He'll be quite set for life won't he, I remember the time he took us all to the beach at Bailey's and lost his, oh God look at that! She thrust out the point of a 9AAA in mauve peau-de-soie, — look at them!

— But they're lovely, simply exqui…

— Don't you see it? right there on the toe, the blood?

— It's only a speck, no one would…

— Do you think Gianni would ever sell me another pair if they could see that? She seized the near shoulder, — just steady me…

— It's only a speck wait, don't…

— You can't think I'd wear them now, spreading God knows what disease all over town? kicking off one, then the other, — I mean they were designed to go with the coat in the first place, maybe they've given Oscar a pair of these little paper slippers like that mad man over there in the wheelchair waving his arms around conducting the music Teen don't look now, a rather slick looking fellow over by the door giving you the eye.

— Where, what oh, oh it's Harry. Harry? Harry this is Trish, we were at school.

And as he came in reach — Oh! seizing his hand, — and he's your doctor?

— He's my husband Trish, Harry Lutz. He's a lawyer, we…

— Teen I didn't dream you had a husband!

— Well I didn't a year ago, we…

— But how clever of you. Getting one right in the family I mean, where he won't send you these ridiculous bills and then sue you like mine always do, because I've got to call Bunker the minute I get home. Of course I'd hate to sue over this mess but after all he's on the hospital's board isn't he? and it's not as though I haven't given those damn white tie diamond benefits year after year till that night in the elevator when they ripped the diamonds right off my throat and took poor Bunker's billclip, his old daddy's gold billclip shaped like an outhouse it was just the sentiment, he advertised for weeks and now it's black tie and we just call it the Winter Party to keep it low key which is simply incongruous isn't it, I mean Harry Winston doesn't turn you out for a church supper in Kalamazoo and Gianni wouldn't make me a shroud if they could see this coat right now with God knows whose blood on it spreading God knows what, this new depravity they've come up with just to get back at the rest of us who thought the bad news for a good fucking went out with penicillin but it's not like that loathsome Mister Jheejheeboy anymore is it, making a career out of marrying us we were all such damn schoolgirls but so long after school was out, now you don't dare touch anybody under thirty Teen I've got to talk to you.

— Yes but just, Harry? Harry wait a minute…

— Because I mean marriage at our age Teen, suddenly it's half the fun at twice the price will you call me?

Maracas, bongos, chichicaboomchic, he'd got as far from the commotion in the wheelchair as the waiting room allowed, standing there drumming his fingers on the attache case when a nurse tapped his arm, pointing down the corridor to — six twelve B.

— Christina?

— Yes I'm coming. And that shopping bag will you, oh you've got it. Trish? Call me?

— Love to Oscar, and Teen? I meant to say how devastating for your father, all over the papers with that horrid dog, and you'll call? Someone should simply shoot it, nurse? Are you going to simply leave me standing here like this?

— Here, this way… and down the corridor, — talk about Lily…

— Well what about Lily! Striding out ahead — no, there are two kinds of people in the world Harry, one of them gives and one of them takes, think about it. You don't think those benefits that Trish gives are breadlines do you? Her third husband owned half the timber in Maine, and here's Lily squeezing money out of poor Oscar when he won't even buy himself new teeth, like that car, buying new tires for the car or will it fly to pieces first.

— Like that… catching her aside as a nurse came bearing down on them with the wheelchair from behind.

— Like what.

— Parkinson's, as the wheelchair passed with silent leaps of a hand, jerks of the head, — palsy, Christina. Palsy.

612 B: in the first bed an inert figure lay absorbed in the chaos of a traffic report from a hand sized radio; and beyond the drawn curtain from a welter of newspapers, — Well. You're finally here.

— We've been waiting out there for hours Oscar, they said you were in therapy or something.

— Did you think I'd be out playing baseball? Hand me that glass of water will you? Hello Harry.

— Harry wanted to stop in and see you Oscar, he brought…

— Did you bring my mail? and the papers?

— I was going to but I thought they'd just upset you. Of course you've got them all anyway.

— I didn't say newspapers did I? Of course I'm upset. Did you see that item Harry?

— Item? How could he help it, it's the whole front page! She came rounding the end of the bed gathering them up, flourishing the bold headline, — someone should simply shoot it, will you just look at this? OUT, DAMNED SPOT

— You think somebody won't? He'd taken the only chair, snapping the attache case open on his lap, — police, firemen, torchlights, hot dogs, cotton candy, see them on the news last night Oscar? Stars and Bars and the good old boys with six packs in both hands, the hound in the pickup with the shotgun rack behind the seat, they're probably burning the old man in effigy down there right now, he…

— What else can you expect, being a Federal judge in that outlandish place Oscar move your leg.

— I can't, wait, those newspapers, what are you doing…

— Throwing them out, you've read them all haven't you? If you want to keep right on being upset, Harry's brought you a copy of Father's Opinion that's made all the trouble, that's the…

— That's not why I'm upset! There's something in one of the papers, can you just leave them there? Something about that big Civil War movie, somebody suing that man Kiester who made it, did you see that Harry? the one that made that Africa movie with those special effects that had people passing out in the aisles?

— Those lawsuits are a dime a dozen, Oscar. Nuisance suits, people who hope to get paid off just to go away, look I've got to get downtown, the…

— No but if he stole my idea, the same story all of it, it's even the same battle it's not a, just a nuisance it really happened, it was my own grandfather wasn't it?

— Oscar you can't just, you can't own the Civil War. You can't copyright history, you can't copyright an idea now here, here's your father's Opinion. It's great bedside reading, you can see if they could get their hands on this Szyrk character down there they 'wouldn't bother with burning an effigy.

— No but Harry?

He was up, closing the attache case with a snap, — frankly I think he'll be overturned on appeal, a poisonous atmosphere like that down there the newspapers are already going after him just for being past ninety years old…