William Gaddis - A Folic Of His Own

— Going to Aspen when Oscar may be in a ditch somewhere bleeding to death? If they want to make you a senior partner he can send you your diploma and then go skiing in Aspen and straighten out a few topless waitresses all he wants to can't he?

— Not that simple Christina look, sit down try to be patient, anybody bleeding to death I can cancel in an instant. Here's the problem, whole scene right now's like sailing through the strait of Messina between Scylla and Charybdis. You make partner, make senior partner with a fine old reputable white shoe firm used to mean you were set for life, now you've got the sea monster's cave on one side and a whirlpool on the other, liability as a partner you're on board risking being devoured by these monstrous suits and government regulators or sucked under and drowned in the unemployment pool.

— Well my God Harry, I mean they can't fire you, you said once…

— Talking about being sucked under when the whole ship goes down Christina, last few years eight or ten top firms have gone down and a dozen more ready to go right now, small firms wiped out all over the place, expartners out on the street who shed their blood for the firm in worries and legal battles brought on by some venerable old senior partner billing four hundred fifty an hour for making bad decisions they had nothing to do with while he puts in for twenty five hundred hours over the year, takes home about a third of the million that he brings in to the firm to pay out overhead and bonuses on the rest of the three hundred million pouring in from all their other accounts and then the senior partners sit down under the Christmas tree and share the profits.

— Well what makes you think Swyne and, where are you going.

— Told you, make some more coffee.

— Lily can make some more coffee and Lily? some more tea, and if you'll clean up that tray? I mean what makes you think they can blame you if the old tub sinks, you're not running General Motors are you?

— Don't understand Christina look, that's the point. You're not protected by limited liability like you are with a corporation, state regulations on these partnership forms you're wide open, the firm's liable means you're liable, insurance protection's like throwing your drowning sailor a lifesaver, a firm with two hundred lawyers at five or six thousand a head there's over a million in premiums right there. All those massive firings a while ago firms like mine were hiring right out of law school fattening up on those billion dollar mergers and takeovers, wild real estate deals, fancy office space and computer networks for these multinational accounts whole thing dries up overnight and the government regulators step in catch some monstrous financial institution cooking their books and we're part of the act because we'd advised them so down go earnings and blue ribbon reputations paying out fines and settlements on these suits by the Justice Department and a few thousand bitter investors first thing you know you're…

— Harry?

— You're paying these million, five million dollar claims from your own pocket, tens of millions in coverage but you've kept raising your deductibles to meet your premiums up twenty percent last year probably another twenty or thirty this one and zero for your legal costs fighting these malpractice suits growing like weeds wherever you…

— Harry! I mean why are you telling me all this about millions in deductibles and God knows else I can't even…

— Just told you Christina! Firm's liable means the partners are liable, big firm gets sued means you're not just accountable for your own work you're stuck for the work of other partners you've probably never even met.

— Well that's the most ridic, I mean you never told me all this I don't even…

— Didn't want to drag you through it, you don't even want to hear it all now do you? What I'm trying to tell you, risking everything you've got, home, pension rights, bonus profit shares everything you own, why our friend Sam there owns nothing but the clothes on his back, town house, cars, sailboat, summer place they're building right over here in Southampton put it all in his wife's name.

— Charming Harry, perfectly charming.

— What do you mean charming, what else could he…

— I mean our friend Sam Harry! I mean these malpractice suits springing up like weeds I mean you standing right there talking Oscar out of bringing a malpractice suit worried about Sam, about our friend Sam and this whole revolting self regulating conspiracy is that when he did it?

— Did what, I don't…

— Put everything in his wife's name so he wouldn't have to give Oscar anything but the shirt off his back and a box of dead fish how can you tell me this!

— Not talking about Sam I'm talking about us, things go sour we could be in the same…

— We? you're putting everything in my name is that how all this started?

— Started with me sitting down with Bill Peyton didn't it? Started with, tell you what it started with it started when I heard Mudpye had turned down partner, broke his neck to make partner they just handed it to him and he turned it down, had second thoughts and he turned it down. Breaking mine for senior partner I'm having a few second thoughts too, tell Bill Peyton I want to see the firm's balance sheets, bank borrowings, pension liabilities, insurance, problem clients, just take your friend Trish probably in for a few hundred thousand by now hasn't put up a dime what's she going to do, wait till they sue her?

— They may just wait until she sues them.

— Not funny Christina now look, I brought her in there and…

— My God I know it's not funny! I mean you look Harry, you brought her in there and all your fine venerable old senior partners could see was dollar signs, they knew she's a problem client Bill Peyton knew it everybody knows it, she'd sue the Queen of England if it occurred to her and you're going to talk to Bill Peyton about bank loans and balance sheets and these millions in deductibles on this insurance they've got on you? and you think you can trust…

— Not on me Christina no, on the firm, I've got half a million with them but that's just life insurance, these tens of millions I'm talking about are the firm, liability for the…

— For the firm while the firm takes your last drop of blood chewing pills, pouring drinks, car accidents my God do we have to go over all this again? Risking everything you own when Bill Peyton pulls a fast one and you think you can trust him talking about bank loans and balance sheets and God knows what you think you can trust any of them? All of it, the whole thing the whole atmosphere's mistrust, every breath you take no put it down here Lily, give him his coffee he needs it, nothing but mistrust, mistrust, mistrust, did you bring sugar?

— What it's all about Christina, if everyplace you looked here wasn't ridden with mistrust you wouldn't have one lawyer for every five hundred people mostly can't afford one anyway, whole country conceived in competition rivalry bugger thy neighbor, the whole society's based on an adversary culture what America's all about, you want to get into dialectical materialism supposed to be Marxist theory but we're the…

— I don't want to get into dialectical anything Harry, I mean my God we know that people will do anything and, listen. Listen! as those glass doors clattered closed — well thank God, Lily help him will you, give him your chair Harry give him your coffee he's pale as a sheet, my God without a coat look at him I mean he's probably caught pneumonia, can you tell me? what would drive any sane person out of the house at dawn in this weather, can you tell me?

— I went for a ride Christina. I wanted to go for a ride. Do you know what those men are doing in the trees out at the end of our drive?