Ishmael Reed - Mumbo Jumbo

So effective is Tam that respectable, opulent chiselers must protect collections, locked up in their villas, with round-the-clock guards. Another man, a South African trumpeter, “Hugh,” is in L.A. transmitting Black American sounds on home. He realizes that the essential Pan-Africanism is artists relating across continents their craft, drumbeats from the aeons, sounds that are still with us.

Seneca masks are lying on another table. A delegation from the Cayuga and Onondaga Grand River Reservations in Canada are arriving shortly to return these to their tribes.

In another corner, some other Mu’tafikah are planning to invade the forthcoming Pre-Cortesian exhibit to be held at a leading museum. They want the Pulque Beaker, the Plumed Serpent with the controversial human face, some terra-cotta water spirits and mosaic knife handles. They repeat the names of the items aloud, the sound resembling subdued chanting. Berbelang always requests that the items to be liberated be committed to memory. In this way not a single item will be left behind. This group is also dealing with a momentous engineering feat — that of removing the 4½ ton Olmec head. They must think of a way to deliver it to Central America.

Berbelang, Yellow Jack and Thor Wintergreen are awaiting the arrival of another member of their team, José Fuentes. Soon there is a knock at the door. They hear Fuentes give the password.

Fuentes enters, shaking the rain from his seaman’s cap. He brings in a package that’s 6 feet 8 inches high, 2 feet 1 inch across.

What is it, Fuentes? Berbelang asks as the other teams look up from their work and toward Fuentes who, after hanging his raincoat on the rack, begins to open the package.

“The Hermit of a Chasm of the Forest” done delicately on rice paper. I relieved it from the Philadelphia Museum where it was on loan from the Cologne Museum of Far Eastern Art. I walked right past the guard.

Berbelang, Yellow Jack, Thor and Fuentes begin to examine the map of the Center of Art Detention that’s spread out on the floor. They pass a drinking vessel shaped like an Inca warrior’s head and filled with good old California vermouth; it’d been given by South American Mu’tafikah to the North American branch in recognition of their work and devotion to the cause.

Berbelang moves the pointer to the North Wing of the Center of Art Detention.

Here we pick up lapis lazuli, turquoise, carmelian, the blue fäience hippopotamus, and some jewelry. 2 teams will relay scarabs, gold sandals, headdresses, brooches, pendants, and don’t forget the bronze coffin and the mummified cat.

“Sabu say, ‘Those who defile the tombs of Egypt must die.’”

Berbelang quickly glances at Fuentes, the source of the remark, a wide grin on his Mayan face.

Quit clowning, Fuentes. There are only a few weeks before our performance and we must have everything perfect. This is our most ambitious haul.

Berbelang moves the pointer to the Center of Art Detention’s North Wing corner.

Here you will find a set of alabaster canopic jars belonging to a Princess Sithathroyunet. That ends the small stuff. We will need some big men to take out the tombs of Peryneb, a Lord Chamberlain of the 5th Dynasty, and his wife Mitry, and some other heavy items belonging to Meketre, a noble of the 11th Dynasty. We must also retrieve the diorite sphinx statue of King Senwosret 3 from the 12th Dynasty and a sphinx of Queen Hatshepsut. The most important item will be handled by the 3 of us, a pottery vessel decorated with antelopes.

Berbelang moves the pointer down the hall to another room. Here is the Peruvian collection where you will lift many items of Mochica art from the North Coast and on the other side Paracas from the South.

How do you plan to gain entrance to the museum, Berbelang? Thor asks.

That will keep until later, Thor!

We wouldn’t tell you anyway, gringo. You just joined the group and how do we know that you won’t tell. Your father is on the board of several museums, you might squeal on us, Fuentes threatens the white boy.

Knock it off, fellas. We have to get this done, time is running out!

Berbelang moves the pointer farther down the Center of Art Detention’s hall.

Here is the ancient Near East stuff. A number of strong men will have to get those 2 glazed brick lions.

They ain’t doing Nebuchadnezzar no good.

Berbelang, Thor and Yellow Jack smile at Fuente’s remark.

Be sure to get the pottery ceramics, the painted antelopes, and a small gypsum statue from the Tell Asmar square temple here. Now Yellow Jack will take over.

The man with the mandarin mustache takes the pointer.

Here are the Chinese, Korean and Japanese galleries. The principal items are the seated Buddha and the scroll paintings. They’ve 30,000 items. I have been going up there for 3 weeks and on the night of the heist I will have a list of the most important smaller items.

Berbelang picks up the pointer again.

Lastly, we come to the Islamic Art collection. It’s a long gallery adjoining the Chinese sculpture hall. We take the incense burners and a small casket dated the 12th century which you will recognize by the drawings of mythological animals. What we especially want is the page of a manuscript dated 1600: The Concourse of the Birds.

The real Concourse of the Birds is there? Thor remarks, surprise showing in his blue eyes.

Yeah, gringo. The real 1 your swine Robber Baron of a father and his fellow Copper King rats lifted as they sailed the world on their pirate ships.

Obviously stunned, the White boy’s face flushes.

A slight smile appears on Yellow Jack’s face.

Look, if you don’t trust me now, you never will, Fuentes. I’ve tried to prove myself. Make sacrifices.

Sacrifices, huh? Liar like Cortez, Pizarro, Balboa and the rest of your “virile” Conquistadors who raped our motherlands.

But what have Cortes and Pizarro or the others to do with me?

You carry them in your blood as I carry the blood of Montezuma; expeditions of them are harbored by your heart and your mind carries their supply trains. You’ve changed your helmet for a frontier hat while I have changed my robes for overalls and a black leather jacket. The costumes may have changed but the blood is still the same, gringo. If it wasn’t for Berbelang you wouldn’t be here.

Leave him alone, Fuentes. He’s done his work well since he’s been here. He’s the only 1 among us who’s able to enter a museum without arousing suspicion, says Berbelang.

You know, sometimes I think that an African friend of mine was right, Berbelang.

Right about what, Yellow Jack? Berbelang asks, now fixing a stare on him, his brows coming together.

Well the White man came into China, exploited our lands, raped our women, plundered our art but then came the Boxer Rebellion and we fought back. They went into South America but then came Bolivar who struck a blow for Indian autonomy. But they’ve done everything to you: raped your women castrated you burned your homes massacred you and yet…

And yet what? Berbelang asks as the people around the other tables begin to take notice of the argument.

Look, let’s go on with the plan, Thor says.

Shut up gringo, Fuentes says, moving in Thor’s direction.

Finish it, Yellow Jack. And yet what? Berbelang insists.

You just don’t seem to be militant like Marcus Garvey and Abdul Hamid and some of the others from the West Indies… I mean this African said that the reason you North American Blacks were docile was that the strong ones were left behind in South America…