Ishmael Reed - Yellow Back Radio Broke-Down

Who knows what lurks in the secret breast of that Continent, shaped so like the human skull? We’ve tried to hide the facts by ridiculing the history of Sub-Sahara Africa and claiming that of North Africa as our own. Notice how the term “blackamoor” was dropped from St. Augustine’s name, and how our friends the German Aryan scholars faked the History of the Egyptians by claiming them to be white. Have you ever seen any examples of their art? If you just look at the pictures — the way they painted themselves black — and ignore the propaganda in our texts or Nefertiti which is a fraud, you will find that undoubtedly they are black people. The overwhelming majority of their art depicts black people.

Sometimes I suspect that if Eve had remained in that garden, probably located in Dahomey, because that’s where the snakes are, Rome would be merely one of the centers of the Ju-Ju religion and I’d be nothing but a poor wretch, stomping grapes or directing traffic in New York City.

The men were falling asleep. Drag stood and fired into the ceiling. Wake up you guys, have a little respect for the Vatican.

Well anyway, the Pope continued, when African slaves were sent to Haiti, Santo Domingo and other Latin American countries, we Catholics attempted to change their pantheon, but the natives merely placed our art alongside theirs. Our insipid and uninspiring saints were no match for theirs: Damballah, Legba and other dieties which are their Loa. This religion is so elastic that some of the women priests name Loa after their boyfriends.

When Vodun arrived in America, the authorities became so paranoid they banned it for a dozen or so years, even to the extent of discontinuing the importation of slaves from Haiti and Santa Domingo.

Loop Garoo seems to be practicing a syncretistic American version. I’ll bet you’ve found ugly matter in your pillows, dolls on the door steps, maybe a personal item of clothing and a portrait of yourself missing.

It’s important that we wipe it out because it can always become a revolutionary force. Many of the Haitian revolutionaries were practicing priests, or houngans, as they are called. The present Prime Minister of Haiti Dr. François Duvalier was former head of the Haitian Bureau of Ethnology.

Loop seems to be scatting arbitrarily, using forms of this and adding his own. He’s blowing like that celebrated musician Charles Yardbird Parker — improvising as he goes along. He’s throwing clusters of demon chords at you and you don’t know the changes, do you Mr. Drag?

Father you let us handle this guy.

May I make a suggestion?

What is it Pope?

Does he have any close friends or companions?

Now that you mention it Pope, I think that I did see him ride off from here last night and join two men who were waiting for him on the hill, said Skinny McCullough the foreman.

Then get 10 dollars and a bottle of wine plus two tickets to the East on the Black Swan Stagecoach. Those men will remove the mad dog’s tooth from the necklace he wears around his neck, the source of his power. They’re probably down and out artists. He always liked artists.

O Pope you don’t believe in all that mumbo jumbo do you? I mean you’re a swell conversationalist but come off of it Pope.

The Pope looked at Drag in disgust. One should always believe the other side is capable of doing anything it says — you’re a young country and you don’t know that but you’ll learn — the hard way.

Just to placate the Pope, Drag gave the men a bottle of cheap dirty wine, 2 stagecoach tickets and a rolled-up 10 dollar bill. And they were off to find the Peak of No Mo Snow.

When they reached the Loop Garoo’s hideout, the Peak of No Mo Snow, Skinny put his finger to his lips, a signal for the horsemen to shush and kneel behind the foliage some yards from the cave. The hours passed and the sun settled behind the hills.

The gang’s patience was rewarded because it wasn’t long before Alcibiades Wilson and Jeff Williams emerged from the cave’s mouth.

Man, you know, Jeff, Alcibiades said, if a cat laid 10 dollars on me, a bottle of wine and a ticket on the Black Swan Stagecoach for the East I’d split in a jiffy. We can return to the cafes and just be throwing our mops against the walls and be boo-ga-looing until our hearts’ content.

You said it Alcibiades, I would do it too. The Kid is really got the coo-coo fever. Having ceremonies with that snake, saying those curses and drawing funny scenes on the cave’s wall; extinct creatures and cattle in a head-on collision. If we can get to the East we’ll be just in time to do some macking at the Washington Square Art Show.

Skinny McCullough walked out of the bush whistling with his hands behind his back. The two men, seated on a rock outside of the cave and smoking cigarettes, almost knocked each other over trying to run back into the hideout.

Hold on, hold on there men, you’ve nothing to fear from me, why I’m nothing but a broken down hermit, given to such eccentricities as supporting artists and collecting roots. I live around these parts and just came over to comment on how much I like your aquiline noses. You kids really look smart there, I mean those thin lips, you look like some of them Roman statoots.

You really think so? answered Alcibiades. Why I played Puck in the Central Park production of Midsummer’s Night Dream .

Me too!! Me too!! Jeff echoed. I’ve played Puck plenty of times.

You boys ought to go to New York and become artists and writers — I’ll bet you’d be a hot hit right off.

That’s what we were just saying, mister, we said if we had a bottle of wine, two tickets on the Black Swan Stagecoach, we’d be off for the East right away. We’re being held captive by a mad man who wears a mad dog’s tooth about his neck and talks crazy.

Is that so? Skinny answered. Why it just so happens I’m a collector of mad dogs’ teeth. I need one more to round out my hobby. You think your friend there will give it to me?

Man, no good, Alcibiades answered, he plays with it all the time and never removes it from about his neck.

Skinny started to walk away but said over his shoulder, Gee that’s too bad. I was going to give him a bottle of wine, two tickets back East and some fast finnifs.

Jeff and Alcibiades conferred rapidly as Skinny started down Peak’s path.

Hey mister!! Wait a minute!! I don’t think the Kid would mind if you borrowed it for a while. He’s asleep right now but we’ll go in and ask him.

Now you’re talking, Skinny said, I’ll wait right here.

The men lit torches and entered the cave. When they came upon the area where Loop Garoo was asleep they stole towards him and gently removed the necklace from around Loop’s neck. The white python glared from his cage above the altar.

Alcibiades and Jeff crept away while Loop watched with one eye open. He chuckled to himself as the men headed out of the cave and into the night where Skinny was waiting. They extinguished the torches.

O.K., said Alcibiades panting like a puppy, suh, heah’s yo mad dog’s tooth.

Skinny examined the mad dog’s tooth through a magnifying glass. Excellent!! Excellent!! Thank you gentlemen, and here is the filthy half-full bottle of muscatel wine in an ol beat up dirty sack, the tickets on the stagecoach and some finnifs for your trouble, Skinny said throwing the items at their feet.

Alcibiades started to fight with Jeff over the wine while Skinny leaned back and laughed heartily.

When they finished the bottle they picked up the tickets and money and ran down the hill towards Yellow Back Radio to fetch the coach.

They ran so hard that every few steps they leaped into the air like chickens.

Skinny walked to the bushes where the men were giggling over the scene they had just witnessed.