William Vollmann - Whores for Gloria

Pretty Little Fishes

Jimmy walked up the hill on Jones Street to Ellis and on the way he saw a big pimp hitting a whore in the face saying oh you thought you could walk from me hah bitch? hah bitch? hah bitch? now you go out there and get some money! and Jimmy walked up Jones to O'Farrell and he saw a pimp being reasonable and explaining to his bitch no don't try it that way don't try to tell me how to cook pork feet and Jimmy walked up Jones to Geary and saw the most beautiful blonde he had seen all night with big strong thighs and a black miniskirt and he said how's it going but the blonde ignored him and Jimmy walked up Jones to Post and saw a grocery store on the corner and all the sudden a hankering came over him for a beef stick so he went in and a whore came in to buy cigarettes and when she came up to the counter, her pimp pushed his way through the men in line and took the pack out of her hands and opened it and pulled half a dozen cigarettes out and the whore paid with a twenty and the clerk was about to hand her a bunch of dollar bills with coins on top when the whore said you can keep the small change I can't carry it around with me, so the clerk dropped the coins back in the register and gave her the dollar bills and the whore lifted her leg as gracefully as a ballet dancer and let her shoe dangle on the ball of her foot and slid the money in.

Sebastian's

Jimmy walked up Jones to Sutter and stood looking into Sebastian's with its red-light globe like a flower, its watermelon-green one like a glowing bud, its green sphere and orange sphere, and men in business suits were leaning against the bar arguing, and Jimmy thought actually I feel kind of down I think I could use a drink, so he went into Sebastian's and sat down and noticed that all the men were looking at him and after a while the man next to him got up and moved his drink to another stool and Jimmy had a sick feeling wondering if they saw him as he saw Code Six who sometimes stood in the middle of sidewalk, grey-grimed with grief, wobbling on his legs, bending and muttering and stinking, and Jimmy sniffed at himself but he didn't smell bad, but some of the men laughed to see him sniffing himself, so he got up and left. The bartender had never served him.

The Coral Sea

Hey pal they all said to Jimmy when he swept triumphantly into the Coral Sea, and Jimmy took a seat at the bar beside a girl who sat bitterly stirring her drink and Jimmy thought at first that she was a whore and started talking to her but the girl just kept saying I'm so sick of myself and Jimmy said why sweetie what's so bad and the girl said no matter what I do I'm always lonely and I get attracted to men who don't care about me so they aren't there when I call them on the phone and Jimmy said now listen I used to be a sad sack myself until I met my wife Gloria who made me so happy she's always patient takes care of me when I'm sick buys me new clothes listens to me really listens not that she doesn't have her faults everyone has faults everyone's gotta stink sometime I'm not ashamed to admit it but Gloria's shown me how to squeak by and the girl looked him up and down saying what does she have that I don't? and Jimmy said probably nothing since as I can see you shoot from the hip (nice hip, too) and you are hip yep a straight-up gal a classy number number one and if I'd met you first I bet you could have made me just as happy well speaking of happiness can I buy you a drink? and the girl said please and Jimmy said another for her and three Budweisers for me. And just trying to enhance her evening he cried good for you sweetheart for saying please because please is the MAGIC WORD! She said why do I hate myself so much? and he pretended not to hear and gulped both beers down and felt a dry achey puckering behind his forehead, as if the beer were sucking things out of his brain.

I hate myself hate myself hate myself! the girl shouted, but everybody in the bar including Jimmy again pretended not to hear because it might be that her self-hatred was the base of her integrity which everyone had to have like that blonde whore Jimmy remembered from the time before Nicole, the blonde whore who'd pulled her wedding dress down hunching her pale shoulders looking at him out of the corner of her eye biting her lip and he saw the welts and scars of beatings beatings beatings on her back and those were what embarrassed her; that was how she kept herself, by being embarrassed about being beaten when she was undressing in front of strange men who were going to fuck her; once Jimmy had seen and said nothing, she smiled at him so gratefully and finished taking off her clothes, now relaxed and basking in her sexual power over him just like all the others. .

Yessir, said Jimmy, I'll tell you, said Jimmy (gulping his third Budweiser very thirstily), Gloria and I have known each other since we were little kids. Can you believe that, twinklepie? Some people think that kind of romance only happens in stories but that's because they never get to know their neighbors really know them in out in out which breaks my heart because then they miss out on the best of life that girl next door stuff know what I'm saying?

The trouble is, said the girl, in my hotel the room next door is vacant. Somebody died in it. They sealed it up. Aside from that your idea's bloody brilliant.

How about the other side of you? said helpful Jimmy. Maybe he hypothesized there's some guy in there looking at you through a hotel in the wall every night thinking wow what a peculiarly pretty little pussycat if only I could screw her inscrutable I'd have it made, and if you go with him first thing you know sugardoll down comes the happiness curtain.

Mister there is no other side of me. I live at the end of the hall.

Well said Jimmy there's always the fire escape just kidding see what happened was our mothers were friends. That made it easier I guess. So we were always playing together come to think of it I can't remember when Gloria wasn't with me.

I thought little boys and little girls were supposed to hate each other, she said. I hated boys.

Maybe that's your problem hon because what this world needs is more love three times a day like toothpaste like K-Y jelly to lubricate all the things you live through good and bad until the memories ah memories are like treasures you want to hear one?

Since you bought me a drink I guess I have to put out, the girl said. Talk away. God you are so corny.

Once said toastmaster Jimmy once when we were kids my mother took Gloria and me down to Tijuana to get our teeth filled because we both had cavities and the dentists were cheaper down there, so we got our fillings which I remember as clear as if someone had told me the whole story just last week and then we drove back to the border where there was a wait like there always is in life in love in hospitals and it was so hot in the car since my mother made us keep the windows up (I think she was kind of nervous about some Mexican ramming into her for the insurance because I can remember her honking the horn every minute looking back and forth like a trapped rat not daring to turn off the motor and all the time telling us to be quiet and shaking her head no real fast if some Mexican kid knocked on the windshield trying to sell flowers or clean the windshield) anyhow we sat there in the heat for hours it seemed so Gloria and I got restless as kids will you know like kids smashing bortles on the sidewalk not that we were bad kids said Jimmy as the girl stirred her drink as if the fate of the world depended on an absolutely even distribution of ice cubes so said Jimmy when this Mexican came by yelling chiclets! chiclets! or however you say it he meant gum Gloria and I both started whining until my mother got brave or desperate enough to roll down her window and buy us some, then I remember how happy Gloria and I were, sitting together as close as you and me right now and Jimmy slid his hand into the girl's lap and she just looked at it until he took it away chewing our gum said Jimmy while a Mexican boy ran up and cleaned the windshield for a quarter even though my mother kept shaking her head no. . well that gum tasted as good as Gloria's kisses and I can taste it now that taste of happiness babe you should have seen us blowing bubbles arguing over who could blow the biggest — and then all the sudden our fillings popped out! So after all that wait we had to go back to the dentist's. But on the way there Gloria and I mixed up the fillings in the gum so I'd have some of hers and she'd have some of mine and it always makes me feel good to know that I have some of Gloria's fillings in my mouth.