Pierre Frei - Berlin - A Novel

Detta consulted her little notebook. In Nestorstrasse. Could you drop me just outside the door?'

A surprise. I know.' Stepping on the gas, Miriam drove down the Kurfiirstendamm to the corner of Nestorstrasse. 'Bring him along this evening. It's my farewell party.'

A farewell party? Why?'

In reply, Miriam made an irritated gesture that embraced the entire Kurftirstendamm, its elegant pedestrians and luxurious shops. 'Good luck with your airman, my dear.' The car roared away.

Detta went into the building. As the lift carried her up she checked herself in the mirror to make sure the seams of her stockings were straight, smoothed down her new dress, and tipped her hat slightly to one side. Hm, not bad. But suppose he wasn't at home?

He was, and he looked even better than a year ago. What a man, she rejoiced! It took him a moment to recognize her. 'Detta, how nice. I had no idea you were in Berlin. Do come in. You're really grown-up now.' He closed the door behind her.

The living room was furnished in the modern style. There were photographs of aircraft hanging on the walls, and a propeller dangling over the kitchen doorway.

'Sit down. Ulli will be here in a moment. She'll be so pleased to meet you.'

'Ulli?' A dreadful foreboding came over her.

'Ulrike Spielhagen. Girl Friday to the director of Lufthansa, my new boss. We're getting married next week. I'll make some tea.'

Detta was paralysed. 'You must come to our wedding,' she heard him say from the kitchen. 'Do you like Leibnitz biscuits? I'm afraid that's all I have. The fact is, I'm hardly ever at home. Our chief pilot is instructing me on the JU 52 at the moment. It's a three-engined plane. I'm going to be second pilot on the Tromso run to start with.' He brought a tray with a teapot and cups. 'Will you be mother. as the English say?'

She poured the tea. Inside, she had turned to ice. She couldn't think, was incapable of reacting, just stood listlessly outside herself and listened with detachment to Fraulein Henriette von Aichborn making polite conversation. 'Lapsang Souchong, my favourite tea. I love that smoky aroma.'

'How are your parents?'

'Fine, thank you. They offered Mother the chair of the Countrywomen's Association, but it would have meant joining the Party, and she's not keen on that. Father is fully occupied with the new stud farm.'

'Would you like to have dinner with us? They have fresh mussels at Schlichter's.'

'Thank you, but no; I have another engagement. I'm afraid I'll have to leave. Please give my regards to your fiancee, although I haven't met her. My congratulations to you both.'

She ran like the wind to nearby Kurfiirstendamm. Only there did her inner paralysis give way. 'Taxi! Taxi!' She shouted, so loudly that people turned in surprise. A cab drew up. 'What's the panic, little lady?' asked the moustached driver good-humouredly. 'To Gumbinner Allee, please.' She dropped into the back seat and closed her eyes. Over. It was all over. Tom Glaser didn't love her. As the cab rattled along through the dense afternoon traffic, she wanted just one thing: to die. She hoped she could find some sleeping tablets in Miriam's apartment. Or should she make a noose from the cord of her dressing gown? Or of course she could equally well open the door of the cab and throw herself in front of the next tram. Jumping from the radio tower they were just passing was another possibility. Then again, she could cut her wrists, preferably in the bath. There were five and a half litres of blood contained in the human body: she'd read that somewhere.

Looking in the rear-view mirror, she straightened her hat. She didn't particularly like it. She'd take it back tomorrow and choose another, perhaps the little red one with the veil, or the black cap with the silver feather. As they turned into Gumbinner Allee, she had settled on a straw picture hat as top of her list, because of the fascinating shadow that its broad brim cast. If she raised her head slowly and bent an enigmatic glance on the next table Ulrike, sitting beside Tom, would certainly ask who that mysterious woman was. Detta imagined the scene in every detail, and decided that by comparison any kind of death, however dramatic, had a drawback: you wouldn't be able to enjoy other people's reactions.

Miriam was dog-paddling about in the water, a bottle of champagne on the side of the pool. She waved. 'Get yourself a glass and come on in.' Detta stripped her clothes off. Until an hour ago she would never, ever have shown herself naked. She jumped into the pool, poured a glass of champagne, emptied it at a single draught and then drank another. 'He's found someone else,' her friend remarked dryly. 'What did you expect? Berlin is full of pretty girls, and your airman is a desirable man. Luckily there are plenty more of them, as you'll find out this evening. As I told you, I've invited a few people round. My very special farewell performance.' There was a determined set to her mouth. Detta was about to fill her glass for the third time, but Miriam took it from her hand. 'That's enough. Go and lie down so you'll be feeling fresh later. Here, have my dressing gown and I'll use the towel.'

The door to the guest lavatory was open. A plumber in blue overalls was installing a new lavatory bowl. He misunderstood Detta's appearance. Another five minutes, then you can use it,' he told her.

In the cool twilight of her room she sobbed quietly on the bed. She thought of her first meeting with Thomas Glaser: his bold landing in Aichborn, dancing with him after dinner, the flight in his open aeroplane next morning. She stopped crying when she realized, with surprise, that he had given her no reason, in word or deed, to entertain hopes of any kind. She had imagined the whole thing.

Around seven a delivery van from Kempinski brought platters of cold food and a couple of dozen bottles of champagne, which were cooling on blocks of ice in a zinc tub. Miriam's American Frigidaire wasn't large enough for them. Detta thought of the ice cellar in Aichborn. In winter people sawed thick chunks of ice off the frozen pond; packed in straw, they would last for months in the cellar, and were used to cool drinks for the annual summer estate party. Father insisted on continuing this age-old tradition.

Are you expecting many people?'

'Everyone who wants to say goodbye to me. But I'm much more interested in seeing who doesn't come.'

'Do you really have to leave?'

Miriam laughed bitterly. 'Oh, no, my dear. We're going entirely of our own free will. Come along, find yourself something long and close-fitting from the wardrobe. Your new silk dress is really more suitable for the afternoon.'

The first guests arrived at eight. Miriam introduced Detta to them. 'Hella and Gottfried Siebert. We play mixed doubles at the Red and White Club, if anyone is mad enough to partner me.'

'Nice to meet you.' Detta shook hands with the young couple.

'Gottfried is head of programmes at Radio Berlin,' Miriam told her friend.

'Director of Transmissions for Reich Radio,' Siebert corrected her. A few things have changed.'

The station signal is the same. "Ub' immer Treu and Redlichkeit", isn't it? "Be true and honest evermore,"' Miriam replied, with obvious irony.

'Laugh if you like, but you won't stop the new times coming.'

'The new times won't stop us going either. The family's already left, and I'm following in a few hours' time.'

'Those who think as we do have nothing to fear,' said Hella Siebert, with conviction.

Detta scrutinized the couple curiously. The Sieberts were in their late twenties, and looked very athletic and healthy. They both wore the Party badge. and were looking challengingly around, as if rather on the defensive. Yet otherwise they seemed perfectly normal. She couldn't make them out.

'Hello, Rolf.' Miriam waved to a stout man in his thirties. 'Rolf Lamprecht cuts people's stomachs up,' she said, introduced him to Detta. 'He's promised me the smallest scar in the world if he ever has to take my appendix out. Rolf, darling, I thought you were bringing the Froweins with you?'