A. AHomes - The Mistress's Daughter

This is not just about the DAR — that’s clear. I wish there had been more: a father-daughter relationship, a friendship. I wish I could know more about his family (my family) — where they came from, how they lived their lives, what they valued. I would have liked to know his children, to learn what we have in common, to feel what it means to have a blood knot. And I would have liked to have come out from the shadows, to be seen not as the product of an affair but as a person, an adult — who is no more or less of them than they are of one another.

Based on nothing except my own blind faith, I am cautiously optimistic that there will be some natural opening, some give on Norman’s part. I resolve to do nothing for the moment, to watch and wait, to allow myself to catch up to my feelings and to see over time where the story leads me.

Deposition: a curious word meaning to remove from office or a position of power and/or testimony under oath — a written statement by a witness for use in court in his absence.

Deposition: I think of suing my father to prove that he is my father and just the phrasing — suing my father to prove that he is my father — has the equally surreal echo of the moment my mother told me that my mother was dead. Suing my father — I picture the papers being filed, a summons served telling him to appear at a certain place at a certain time. I imagine there being a man, a stranger to both of us, someone hired to do the job, to ask the questions.

Mr. Hecht, before we begin I would like to remind you that the length of a deposition is limited to seven hours a day, over the course of however many days it takes to do the kind of call-and-response, asking of questions, related to the actions and activities of the last forty-four years — that’s how old she is now, the infant in question.

Rules of Civil Procedure. Rule 26—Discovery. We will be asking you, the deposed, to provide a copy of your birth certificate and a copy of the DNA test that you and Ms. Homes jointly participated in. Given that a potential witness is anyone who has information relevant to the issues of a lawsuit or who has information that may lead to relevant information, we will also call your wife and your children. Unlike a trial, where a judge can rule on objections, at a deposition lawyers can ask irrelevant questions and inquire into hearsay.

Is all of this clear?

Have you ever had your deposition taken before?

Do you understand that you are under oath — sworn to tell the truth?

Are you prepared to answer my questions?

Is there anything about your physical state — are you taking any medications that will prevent you from giving me complete and truthful answers?

If you need to take a break at any time, let me know.

What is your full name?

Your place and date of birth?

Your parents’ names and places and dates of birth?

Mr. Hecht, can you tell me why are we here today? Is there a particular issue?

In 1993 you asked Ms. Homes to participate in a DNA blood test that would genetically compare DNA samples from both you and Ms. Homes to prove that in fact you are her father. And the result of that test showed that it was 99.9 percent likely that you are her father, and recently when she requested a copy of that test from you, you declined to provide it — is that correct?

You asked Ms. Homes to participate in the test, but you don’t believe you should both have access to the results. Why is that?

You participated equally?

You paid for the test, Mr. Hecht — actually you had some trouble paying for the test, didn’t you? You scheduled the appointment for the test in July of 1993, Ms. Homes traveled from New York to Washington and met you at the lab, but you didn’t have the right kind of payment, the right kind of check — and you had to go back again the next day?

At the time you scheduled the test, Ms. Homes offered to pay for the test as well or split the cost with you?

Now, if it is all about the money — the costs associated with this meeting here today are in excess of the charges for the test. So perhaps this is not about money?

How would you describe yourself, Mr. Hecht?

Would you describe yourself as a family man?

Is there more to you than that — than just a retired businessman?

Are you close to your family?

Do you go to church?

You have a son who shares your name — what does that name mean to you?

What is your identity, Mr. Hecht?

Did you always know who you were?

Have you ever been arrested?

Been charged with a crime?

For the record, can you tell us about any and all claims, lawsuits, that you’ve been involved in over the years?

What was your age and place of first employment?

And your last — were you fired, or asked to step down?

Did you feel any personal responsibility?

Do you think of yourself as someone who gets things done?

Has anyone ever called you a big shot?

Do you think you’re an average man?

Same level of ambition as your peers?

Did you graduate from college?

Were you in the army? Ever kill anyone?

Where did you grow up, Mr. Hecht?

How would you describe your childhood?

Who raised you?

How was it that you lived with your grandparents — where were your mother and father?

How did your parents meet?

What did your father do for a living?

How would you describe your relationship with your father?

Were you close?

Did he love you?

Do you think it’s true that boys are closer to their mothers, and girls to their fathers?

Are you proud of your family history?

Involved in any lineage organizations?

What clubs are you a member of?

Have you ever wanted to join a club and not been allowed in?

What kind of name is “Hecht”?

Was your father Jewish?

Was he raised in a Jewish home?

Did your mother’s family consider you Jewish?

Was your father’s father a kosher butcher?

Why did your paternal grandmother carry a gun?

Would you describe yourself as charitable?

Do you give money to charities?

Do you give of your time and abilities?

Do you drink?

Did you ever use recreational drugs?

Ever smoke marijuana?

Ever take pills for energy?

Ever use cocaine?

Ever try Viagra?

Where did you meet your wife?

At what age were you married?

Did you engage in relations before the wedding?

Was she a virgin?

Were you ?

Have you ever had a sexually transmitted disease?

When did you last have sex, Mr. Hecht?

With whom?

Would you say that you and your wife had a good sex life?

Did you and your wife ever discuss open marriage?

So, initially she didn’t know that you were having a sexual relationship with Ms. Ballman?

Was Ms. Ballman your first relationship outside your marriage, or did someone precede her?

How did your wife find out about Ms. Ballman?

Can you tell me the names of your children?

Do you know their birth dates?

Besides Ms. Homes — did you have any other children outside your marriage?

Is it possible, Mr. Hecht, that there are others?

How many relationships did you have outside your marriage?

How long did they last?

Your wife was pregnant at the same time as Ms. Ballman?

How old was Ms. Ballman when you met her?

How would you describe her physically — her appearance?

Did you know that she was a minor?

What were the circumstances of that meeting?

Were you the owner of the Princess Shop?

How long did Ms. Ballman work for you?

When did your sexual relationship begin?