James Kelman - A Chancer

6 5’s 30 and 3’s 18; 18 and 3 21; 6 1’s 6 and 2’s 8; 810, eight hundred and ten quid; plus the stake, equals 945. £945 less tax.

One more point and the return amounted to one thousand and eighty, one thousand and eighty quid. A grand. All it required was one more point. 7/1.7 to 1 to the 135. £1080, less tax. Even better with the 15/2, that extra half point making sure it was more than the grand even after tax. One thousand pounds.

He checked the time through shop windows while he walked. He was walking at a steady pace. He passed other betting shops. He kept walking until he arrived at where he lived but he continued past the shop old Phil worked in, to a shop he only went into now and again. He glanced up at the board, the boardman was chalking in figures on the next race. His nap had finished third at 4/1. 4 to 1. His nap had finished third at four to one. Third at four to 1. Even if it had won he would not have reached the grand — nowhere near it, five hundred and thirty fives, it did not matter. £700 though. That would have been fine. Seven hundred quid. Six hundred. 675. Less tax, six hundred and seventy five ten pences.

He was walking in the direction of his own street but he remained on the main road and he walked back up the town and into a picture house.

•••

A couple of girls glanced at him. At the counter he ordered a roll and sausage and a cup of tea, and was given the tea immediately. He sat at one of the empty tables. There were four girls in the room, sitting beside each other. A man was snoring at another table, his head cradled on his crossed forearms, snoring quietly. Otherwise the club was deserted, the room where the chemmy took place in total darkness. He lighted a cigarette and stood up, and said to the girls: Fancy the telly on?

If you like.

He pulled a chair to the side of the counter and climbed onto it, reaching to switch it on. Later the woman came from the kitchen with his roll and sausage; he ordered another tea.

A play had begun on the television and he was watching it along with the girls and the woman. The doorbell rang. It rang again and the woman muttered, Tch, bloody door. . And she left to answer it. Moments afterwards she was followed in by four men, two going straight into the card room and then the kitchen. One of the other two said: Anybody seen Frank Callaghan?

No one replied. Tammas and the four girls continued staring at the television screen; the man at the table was still asleep, still snoring.

The other two men came from the kitchen with the woman. They had been speaking with her and now they walked back out again, going quite quickly. The one who was talking said to Tammas, How long you been here son?

About an hour.

The man sniffed and nodded. When did Frank go out?

Tammas shrugged.

He was here but?

I dont know.

The man took a handkerchief from his pocket and he blew his nose. He said to the girls: What about yous — you seen him?

No, replied one.

Then the man glanced at Tammas again: You a member of this club?

Who me? aye.

Glad to hear it. The man nodded, then nodded at his companion. He indicated the guy who was asleep, pursed his lips and shook his head. A moment later they had gone.

One of the girls called: That’s Frank then Alice eh!

The woman behind the counter nodded in reply. She was smoking a cigarette, holding it to her mouth in her right hand, her left forearm resting beneath her breasts. She stared at the television. But suddenly she moved: she shook her head and she stuck the cigarette into her mouth and she turned and said, I’m bloody sick of this. She strode round into the room and over to the man at the table, shook him by the shoulder. Away you go, she said, I’m sick of your damn snoring.

What. .

Away you go!

Aw Alice. .

No aw Alice — away you go bloody home.

Will you no give us a coffee? As he spoke the man had half risen from the chair, balancing himself against the edge of the table and moving in a sort of circular fashion. The woman was about to say something but the phone rang and she went quickly to answer it. Less than two minutes and she appeared in the kitchen doorway. Closing, she said.

The others all looked at her.

Closing, she said, stepping to the counter and lifting a couple of dirty plates; I’m closing for the night.

The man called, No even a coffee for the road Alice?

She glanced at him without speaking and he began grumbling unintelligibly while heading for the exit. And you lot can do the same, she said to Tammas and the four girls.

He followed them, along the corridor and out into the lane. The wind was quite strong and he turned up the lapels of his jacket. At the corner he paused as the girls stopped. Two of them went one way and he walked with the other two the opposite way. I’ll get yous along the road, he said.

Neither answered for several moments, until one replied, It’d be best if you didnt.

O aye, aye, sorry.

Naw, said the girl, shaking her head.

Tammas nodded.

Cheerio.

Aye. . He smiled and shrugged, walked quickly on by himself.

•••

He was lying full length on the settee, his legs protruding over the end arm; although the television was on at its normal volume he was staring to the side of it, in the direction of the curtains at the windows. The main living room light was off but in addition to the light coming from the screen there was a red glow from the electric fire. He yawned and glanced over the settee at the ashtray on the floor, there was the half of a cigarette lying in it; he picked it out and reached for his matches. He rose when he had it burning, leaving it wedged in the corner of his mouth, and he stared into the mirror above the mantelpiece, the shadows there affecting the way his face looked. Then noises from outside on the landing and he moved rapidly, switching off both the fire and the television, going along and into his own room, clicking shut the door, not putting on the light. It was his sister and brother-in-law. Once they had locked the outside door they went into the front room and then into the kitchen and their own bedroom, back into the kitchen; and the sound of the kettle being filled from the tap, and soon they were in the living room.

Not long afterwards Tammas got up off the bed, he stepped to the window and peered out. Down below the streetlamp lighting showed rain pattering steadily onto the wet tarmac and the concrete paving; it was around 10.30 pm.

•••

Tammas grinned. He shut his eyelids and shook his head, his elbow on the edge of the table and his chin being propped by his hand. He looked at Rab again, and he laughed. The two of them were sitting in the lounge of a pub in the city centre. It was threequarters full and a band was performing, using quite strong amplification. He drank some beer and put the pint back down, leaned slightly nearer to Rab: Next month!

Aye, next month.

To Rena you mean?

Naw, her maw.

Fuck sake! Tammas laughed. He drank more beer, shook his head again. What does your auld man have to say about it?

Fuck him. As long as I dont turn a pape he doesnt give a fuck. And he likes Rena as well — thinks she’s too fucking good for me!

So she is ya cunt! Tammas shook his head once more. Lucky bastard!

Rab grinned.

So you are man!

I’d have been fucking luckier if I’d still been amateur but I mean these cunts’ll be lifting a right few quid out the deal.

Minor matters!

Minor matters?

Well how much are they getting then?

Fucking millions man!

Aye but you’ll no lose on it. .

Naw. Rab lifted his own pint glass and sipped at his beer.

What about Rena? what does she think about it all?

Okay — her maw and da arent too keen but; they were wanting us to wait until the summer. Far as Rena’s concerned the sooner the better. Me as well man; I just want to get it over and done with and fuck off to England out the road. I wasnt that bothered before, but now. .!