James Kelman - An Old Pub Near the Angel

‘Okay Sammy?’ asked the Shop Steward.

‘Aye Brother. They better!’ added the old man darkly.

‘People are always knocking his Daily Record ,’ whispered Dougie, ‘and using it to wipe their arse.’

Willie smiled without replying.

‘We had two delegates over to see our Brothers in Kilmarnock last week,’ the Chairman cleared his throat, ‘about their pay claim and. . Brother Reilly!’

‘Aye me and Boabbie went to see them at their meeting. They’re looking for 15 % and they’ll get it Lindsay says. He thinks they should’ve went for twenty.’

‘Hum,’ muttered the Chairman, then whispered something to MacDonald.

‘And that’s it more or less. Oh Sammy, Brother Lindsay was asking for you. Said to tell you him and Etty would be through to see how you’re doing.’

‘Aye Brother.’

‘How much we asking anyway?’ called a man from the back.

‘Fifteen Charlie,’ answered Brother Reilly.

‘That’s New Business,’ interjected the Chairman.

‘What we’re waiting for.’ Dougie spoke out the corner of his mouth.

Willie nodded.

‘Oh another thing,’ Reilly went on, ‘You want to see their facilities through there — snooker and table tennis and that. You want to see it! They run handicap competitions all the time and Lindsay says some of the staff goes in for them too.’

‘Aye we’ve had a few talks on this subject before Brothers,’ said the Chairman.

‘Aye,’ agreed the Shop Steward. ‘Remember the last one?’

‘Not likely to forget,’ said some men, grinning in appreciation.

‘Anyway if that’s it Brother?’

‘Aye, just thought I’d mention it,’ replied the Acting Secretary.

‘No harm done,’ said the Chairman. ‘Right Brothers. New Business.’

‘The pay claim!’ shouted Tam. ‘What about asking for twenty?’

‘No point Brother,’ answered the Shop Steward. ‘We’ve no chance of getting fifteen as it is.’

‘If Kilmarnock gets it — we better!’ remarked someone.

‘We’re already getting more than them. The management are just bringing them up to our level.’

‘Our level?’

‘Well,’ grinned MacDonald, ‘not quite Brother; but no too far away.’

‘I move we put in for twenty!’ declared Tam, rising to his feet.

‘Jesus Christ!’ muttered the Chairman.

‘Tam there’s no chance. Waste of bloody time!’ cried the Shop Steward.

‘Well fifteen. .’ Tam paused. ‘We ask for twenty we’ll definitely get fifteen.’

The Chairman struck a match and relit his long-dead pipe. He spoke quietly to the Acting Secretary, seemingly without any interest in the current discussion.

‘Anybody second that motion?’ asked the Shop Steward hopelessly, after a moment.

‘Aye me!’ said Tam’s neighbour, rising and standing shoulder to elbow with his tall friend.

MacDonald hesitated.

‘Brothers,’ said the Chairman at last, ‘this has been gone into very carefully. We are asking fifteen and that’s that. Waste of time asking more. Let’s wait and see what happens through at Kilmarnock first eh?’

A few of the members nodded their agreement.

‘Think you should withdraw the motion,’ stated the Chairman after a short pause.

‘Aye,’ agreed Tam’s neighbour without hesitation.

Tam sat down shaking his head in disgust.

* * *

‘What about this business about the apprentice?’ asked a man in the front row.

The Chairman turned to Brother Reilly who quickly explained the facts to him.

‘It’s out of order that one of the clerks has only to open his mouth and the boy’s hauled up in front of the manager,’ continued the man.

‘Well he shouldn’t have swore at him in the first place Brother,’ said the Shop Steward.

‘Ach it’s out of order.’

‘He shouldn’t have been in their toilet in the first place,’ said the Chairman.

‘Christ he had the runs! What’s he supposed to do?’

‘That’s right he couldn’t wait,’ said a voice from the back.

‘He only got a warning. .’

‘I’ll speak to the manager,’ remarked the Shop Steward.

‘Says they’ve got towels in there,’ grumbled old Sammy.

‘Anyway,’ said the Chairman, ‘that’s it?’

‘What about a games room or something, snooker or something?’ asked Tam.

‘Well!’ called the Chairman.

‘I move that we try again to get a snooker table,’ affirmed Tam.

‘I second that motion Brother,’ said the Acting Secretary.

The Chairman looked at his watch before saying: ‘Nothing else then?’

‘I could do with a pint,’ said the Shop Steward, shuffling his sheaves of foolscap paper as he rose to his feet.

‘A minute!’ cried Willie in a voice two octaves higher than usual.

Dougie rubbed his hands together and lowered himself further down in his seat.

‘Well Brother?’ called the Shop Steward. The Chairman was knocking his pipe bowl out, against his shoe.

‘About the Bill. The second reading takes place at the end of the week and if nothing worthwhile is done quickly it will be passed through without any opposition worth talking about.’

A murmur travelled through the room. The Shop Steward sat down heavily.

‘What’s he talking about?’ asked someone.

‘When did he start in the job?’ asked another.

‘Never get a pint now,’ muttered Brother Reilly.

‘You mean THE “Bill”?’ queried the Chairman.

‘Of course,’ replied Willie. ‘As far as I can ascertain there have been no individual points raised, neither has the “Bill” as a whole ever been discussed — at any of your branch meetings.’

Someone at the back laughed. Old Sammy shuffled up the passageway and out, quietly closing the door behind him.

‘He’s a student!’ confirmed someone at the back.

‘Well son,’ explained the Shop Steward, ‘naturally we don’t like it but it has to get done. I mean it had to come.’

‘What’s it all about?’ asked Tam.

‘It means one cannot strike unofficially, for one thing,’ said Willie.

‘That right?’ Tam said to the table.

‘Well. . aye,’ answered the Shop Steward, ‘but all it means is our strikes’ll all be official from now on.’ He rolled a cigarette.

‘For example,’ persisted Willie, ‘if you were to decide to strike because the management refused to meet your demands for adequate toilet paper, and the union would neither support nor back your action, you could be jailed.’

‘What!’

‘What was that?’

‘Okay son,’ commented the Chairman. Turning to Tam he said, ‘He’s talking nonsense. The management are giving us the paper anyway.’

‘I didn’t know anything about it,’ insisted Tam glaring around the room.

‘It’s on sale at the Post Office,’ someone shouted from the back.

‘But Brother what’s this about the jail for striking?’ asked an elderly man sitting in the front row.

‘Nobody’s getting the jail for striking!’ cried the exasperated Chairman.

‘Unless any of you take unofficial action,’ added Willie.

‘Right son that’s it finished. They’ve taken this decision at Headquarters and that’s it. It’s ultra vires !’

‘I am surprised the matter has not been discussed. .’

‘Okay kid it’s finished,’ said the Acting Secretary. ‘It’s just politics anyway.’

‘So if there’s nothing else Brothers. .?’

‘I don’t know the score here about all this,’ said Tam.

‘Get it at any Post Office; been on sale for weeks,’ the Shop Steward said quickly as he closed his briefcase.

‘Aye okay.’ Tam hitched up his trousers then pointed a finger at him.