Ha Jin - Ocean of Words

I didn’t say a word, just ate. He sensed my resentment and kept quiet.

After two bowls, I asked him casually, “What’s happened to you?”

He gave out a sigh, still chewing on a rib. “It’s hard to explain in a few words.”

“Tell me about it.”

As I was making tea, he began his story. “Two months ago, at a cadre meeting, the commissar of our hospital asked us to make criticisms. Everybody was supposed to say something. When it was my turn, I stood up and spoke on behalf of the Senior Officer Ward, because I was the acting director.”

“What did you say?” I put a mug of tea before him.

“Thanks. I said, ‘Seven nurses in my ward complained to me that a few senior leaders had made a pass at them. One general ripped Nurse Wen’s skirt last week. I don’t want to mention his name here. This sort of thing happens again and again in our ward. Those senior officers are older revolutionaries, who should be a model for us of the younger generation. On top of that, they all have grandchildren. It’s a shame for them to behave like that.” ’ He picked a tea leaf from the mug and took a sip.

I wanted to laugh. What a blockhead. But I asked, “Then what happened?”

“At the meeting, the commissar said he would look into this matter. Everything seemed all right. But a week later, all of a sudden, the walls at the front of the hospital were covered with big-character posters, calling me names and accusing me of spreading counterrevolutionary views. I was scared. This was a matter of life and death. I had seen with my own eyes Marshal Chen Yi being roughed up by the Red Guards. I was nobody; if I fell into the hands of the revolutionary masses in our hospital, it would be my end. Two days later, when we were eating lunch, our neighbor Mrs. Liu hurried in and said, ‘Young Chu, run, quick! They’re coming for you.’ Then we heard footsteps thumping in the stairwell. It was impossible to escape through the door now. My wife is a coolheaded woman. She said. ‘Take our child with you; they won’t leave him alone.’ So I carried this boy on my back and climbed across to the Lius’ balcony. I heard them yelling at my wife in our home, and I sneaked out through the Lius’ apartment. I went to the railroad station directly and took a train, which happened to come to the Northeast. That’s why we’re here now.”

“You are lucky.” I didn’t know why I said that. “Do you have any relatives here?”

“No, I don’t know anybody but you. We just roam around, sometimes taking a train and sometimes walking. In Changchun City I saw a notice with my picture on it. It said I was a counterrevolutionary criminal and must be brought to justice. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to get you involved —”

Orderly Meng Hai came in and set about clearing the table. I gave Chu a Glory cigarette, which he lit and drew at as if sucking his mother’s breast. The child woke up. I told Meng to leave a bowl of food. Seeing meat and rice, the boy seemed to forget his illness and started bolting the food down. “Daddy, zo goot,” he mumbled with his mouth full. I noticed that, unlike his father, the boy had the round eyes which were typical among the Chus.

“Eat slowly, Dundun.” Chu touched his son’s forehead, then said to me, “He’s much better. The medicine works.”

As soon as the orderly went out, Chu resumed, “I really don’t want to get you into trouble, but we can’t go to a hospital, you know. We won’t stay long. I’m grateful, Chen Jun.”

“You can’t stay here for long. This is not a safe place either. Fortunately, the company commander is not home tonight.”

“I understand. We’ll leave tomorrow morning. Could you do me a favor, my good brother?”

“What?”

“Please give me a syringe and some penicillin.”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

Nothing could be easy between him and me. Now he was in my hands, and I would not give him a pleasant time. My mother hadn’t been able to raise her head before the villagers when he broke the engagement. My sister could have eaten him alive.

That night I told the medic to wrap up the medicine and a syringe, but this didn’t mean I would let Chu go as he pleased. In fact, lying in the company commander’s bed, I was thinking if I should report Chu to the Divisional Political Department. Who knew whether what he had told me was true or not? He might have been a true reactionary. This was an opportunity to show my loyalty to the Party and also get even with the Chus. Two weeks before, I had heard that the Political Department was considering promoting me to vice chief of the Divisional Officer Section. A company political instructor about to be promoted directly to a rank equal to a battalion commander’s, do you think I would just sit waiting for the big pie to fall into my mouth? No, I had to do something. What was more appropriate than turning in a counterrevolutionary?

How about the child? I wouldn’t care a damn. The boy was a seed of the Chus and should share his father’s fate. I wouldn’t mind if they were both captured. Tomorrow the first thing I was going to do was call the Divisional Political Department.

I went to sleep with the plan in my head.

But the next morning I began to change my mind. One thing I had not taken into account was that, if they came to arrest Chu, they might not be able to take the child with them, because Chu would surely ask me to take care of the little monster. Probably he’d beg me to have the boy sent back to our hometown, to Chu Village. How could I refuse my fellow townsman in the presence of the officers and soldiers? The child could be anything but a reactionary. I had to figure out a proper way to handle this.

After breakfast they were ready to leave. I had no time to think out an adequate solution, which could please the higher-ups and at the same time keep myself free from blame for Chu’s arrest. It seemed there was no chance of making the job clean. I went on scratching my scalp but could not come up with an idea.

Finally, when I followed them out with the medical package under my arm, I said to myself, All right, let the rascal slip through your fingers just this once. There will be another time.

At the entrance of our building, I gave him the medicine. His eyes turned watery when he saw it. “My good Brother Chen, you are our benefactor. We will never forget you. Come down, Dundun, kowtow to Uncle Chen.” He put the dirty boy on the ground.

“No, it’s not necessary.” I picked the small monkey up and handed him back to his father. I didn’t want him to make a show in front of Orderly Meng and Scribe Hsu. Then, Heaven knows what muddled my brain at that moment, I took two ten- yuan bills out of my wallet and handed them to Chu.

He accepted the money and said with tears in his eyes: “Our savior, as long as we live, we’ll remember this!” He turned around and walked away with the child on his back. The chilly breeze was lifting their rumpled hair from behind, while dried leaves were scuttling about ahead of them.

I am not sure why I did that. Perhaps I wanted to show my men that I was generous, or perhaps I wanted that scoundrel to remain grateful.

I couldn’t believe it when I saw that the photo sent over by the Regimental Political Department was Liu Fu’s. How clumsy he looked in it: a submachine gun slanted before his chest; above his army fur hat, in the right corner, stretched a line of Chinese characters, DEFEND MY MOTHERLAND; his smile was still a country boy’s, lacking the sternness of a soldier’s face. He had been in my platoon for only about ten months. How could he, a new soldier, become a secret customer of Little White Fairy in Hutou Town so soon?