Mo Yan - Frog

I shook my head. But, I said sceptically, she’s not really very good—

Hah! Gugu replied. How short-sighted can you be! Some women look good at first glance, but the more you look, the more flaws you see. What about Little Lion? At first glance you’d think she isn’t much to look at, but look long enough and you’ll see just how attractive she is. You’ve probably never taken the time to do that, have you? I’ve spent my whole life around women, and I know exactly what makes a woman a prized creature. Do you recall the time you were just promoted to cadre status, how I tried to get you and her together? But you’d fallen for Renmei, and even though I opposed the match, given the freedom to marry whom one pleases in the new society, as your aunt I had no choice but to go along. Now, of course, she’s left a void — don’t get me wrong, I’m not happy she died and wish she’d had a long life — as the heavens have willed it, and the heavens have also willed that you and Little Lion be together.

Gugu, I said, no matter what you say, Wang Gan and I were childhood friends, and everyone — adults and children — knows how he feels. If I were to marry Little Lion, I’d drown under the spittle the masses would send my way.

You’re wrong again, she said. His love for her is a one-sided affair, like a barber’s carrying pole — only the pail on one end is hot. Little Lion never once expressed any interest in him. If she married you, it would be a case of ‘the firebird knows which perch to choose’. Besides, this thing called love has nothing to do with loyalty among friends. Love is selfish. If Little Lion were a horse that Wang Gan had his eye on, then you could let him have her, no problem there. But Little Lion is a human being, and if you fall in love with her, you’ll have to take her for your own. You’ve been out in the world for several years and have seen many foreign movies, so how can you be so inflexible?

Even if I said I’d do it, what would she—

Gugu interrupted me: You don’t have to worry about that. She’s been with me so long I know what she’s thinking. I’ll tell you the unvarnished truth: It’s you she’s in love with, and if Renmei hadn’t left us, Little Lion would stay single all her life.

Let me think this over for a few days, Gugu, I said. The dirt on Renmei’s grave is still damp.

Think what over? A long night brings many dreams. If Renmei’s spirit is up there somewhere, she’ll be clapping her hands in approval. Why? Because Little Lion is a good woman, and it would be Renmei’s good fortune for her daughter to have such a stepmother. Not only that, government policy would allow you and Little Lion to have a child, and I’d be wishing for twins. Xiaopao; you will have benefited greatly from misfortune.

The date for my wedding was set.

Gugu took care of the arrangements. I felt like a floating piece of rotting wood kept moving by gentle nudges.

Little Lion and I were alone together for only the second time when we registered to be married at the commune office.

Our first private meeting had been in the dormitory room shared by Gugu and Little Lion. It had been a Saturday morning. Gugu ushered us into the room and left, shutting the door behind her. A pile of dust-covered newspapers and a couple of books on obstetrics sat atop a three-drawer table between the two single beds. Bees swarmed around a dozen or so sturdy, pollen-laden sunflowers just outside the window. After pouring me a glass of water, she sat on her bed. I sat on Gugu’s bed. The air carried the fragrance of hand soap. Soapy water half filled a Red Lantern washbasin. Gugu’s unmade bed was an impossible mess.

Gugu is totally devoted to her work.

I know.

I feel like I’m dreaming.

Me too.

You know all about Wang Gan, don’t you? He’s written to you five hundred times.

Gugu told me.

Any thoughts about that?

Not really.

I’ve been married before and I have a daughter. Does that bother you?

No.

Do you want to talk this over with your family?

I have no family.

Later, she rode on the back of my bicycle to the commune offices. I had trouble controlling the bicycle over the bumpy road, only recently paved with shards of brick and tile. She sat with her shoulder pressed against my back. I could feel her weight. Some people ride well on the back of a bicycle, some don’t. Renmei rode well, Little Lion did not. I was pedalling so hard the chain broke. My heart sank. That was a bad sign. Did it mean that now we would not grow old together? The broken chain lay on the road like a dead snake. I picked it up and looked around. We were surrounded by cornfields where women were spraying insecticide. The spraying machines hummed like air raid sirens. The women had draped plastic over their shoulders and were wearing hospital masks over their mouths and bandanas on their heads. It was brutally hard work, but the green mist rising above the cornstalks invested it with an almost poetic air. I thought about Wang Renmei. She’d been fearless. Unafraid even of snakes, she’d pick them up by their tails, much the same way I’d picked up the bicycle chain. She’d also sprayed insecticide after being dismissed from the school in the wake of her breakup with Xiao Xiachun. Her hair had reeked of insecticide. I don’t have to wash it, she’d joked, since it’ll ward off fleas and mosquitoes. But she did wash it, and I stood behind her and poured water over her head; she laughed the whole time. I asked what she was laughing about, which made her laugh so hard she knocked over the washbasin. I couldn’t help but feel guilty as I thought about Renmei. I looked at Little Lion out of the corner of my eye. She was wearing a new, red-checked short-sleeve shirt with a turned-up collar and a glistening digital watch on her wrist. She was full-figured. She’d powdered her face with fragrant Pearl or another brand of face powder, which lessened the effects of acne.

We’re still three li from the commune. I’ll have to walk the bicycle.

We met Chen Bi outside the slaughterhouse gate. He was carrying Chen Er on his back.

He blanched when he spotted us. The look in his eyes made me ashamed. He turned his back on us.

Chen Bi! I decided to greet him.

Oh, I thought it was some big shot, he replied with biting sarcasm. He glared hatefully at Little Lion.

They let you out, did they?

The girl’s sick, she has a fever, he said. To be honest, I didn’t want to leave. The food inside was so good I could spend my life there.

Little Lion went up to feel Chen Er’s forehead.

Chen Bi spun away.

Take her to the hospital for an IV, Little Lion said. Her temperature must be at least thirty-nine degrees.

Is that a hospital you’re running? Chen Bi fumed. Or an abattoir?

I know you hate us, Little Lion said, but there’s nothing we can do.

Nothing you can do? There’s plenty you can do.

Chen Bi, I said, don’t use your child to vent your anger. Come on, I’ll go with you.

Thanks, pal, he said with a sneer, but I don’t want to keep you from whatever it is you’re doing.

Chen Bi… what can I say?

You don’t have to say anything. I used to think you were a good guy, but now I know you’re not.

Say what you like, I said as I stuffed some bills into his pocket. Now take her to the hospital.

Chen reached in, took out the money, and flung it to the ground. This is blood money!

He turned and walked off proudly with his daughter.

I gazed blankly at his back as he strode off. I bent down, picked up the money, and put it back in my pocket.

He’s prejudiced against you both, I said.

He has only himself to blame, Little Lion said indignantly. Who can we pour our bitterness out to?