H. Adler - The Journey

Yet in the next town the same thing happens. The secretary won’t do it.

“No, no rabbit flesh. The readers have had enough of that and want something else to read about. Maybe you should do a book about it. In another town there is a man who publishes books.”

The man listens to the story silently and sighs. “That’s not possible. For that’s the truth and not fiction. Yet my publishing house is not suited to the truth.” The secretary nods. “In some other town there lives a man who deals in the truth.”

This man agrees to meet and listens patiently. “That’s unbelievable, too much of a fantasy. The times are different and demand the pure truth, not fiction.” The secretary follows suit. “You could maybe try another town. But I wouldn’t hold out much hope for this rubbish.”

And in the other town no one will even listen. The secretary states loudly: “Too late, too late! That was a hundred thousand years ago. Back then was the time for it. Not now. It’s something for the museum in the next town, it’s not too far.”

At the museum in the next town they laugh. “We’re all full up with that and don’t want any more, no, not even as a gift. Earlier we took in such material, although we never had much faith in it, but out of compassion we took it in and stacked it up. Nobody looked at it in the glass cases. The public protested. Now it’s all stored in the basement.”

“But what shall I do? It’s too much stuff to constantly keep schlepping around.”

“There is no other town, none,” says the secretary. “None. But stay out of this town and all the others!”

In no town will anybody listen. Nobody has ears for it. The first secretary yawns, the second secretary cleans her nails. The third secretary opens the door, the porter points contemptuously at the cemetery. There it says clearly: “All graves sold out!” All that is left is rubbish. Rubbish that is tossed away.

“Please, you really shouldn’t say that. Given the current conditions, suicide is complete madness. You will be seen as a complete laughingstock forever. We have to warn you about the repercussions of such a public act. What you can’t help doing we recommend strongly that you do privately and with no note left behind. At most just a note about some terminal illness or something. Then you can talk about your senses being confused. But it’s much better for you and future arrangements, which we will no doubt implement, if you yourself were not so proud, but instead just tossed the goods overboard. In the prevailing darkness they will simply sink away. There’s no need to worry that people today will try to save lost goods. They’re still here with us in the shape of empty buildings. For the moment that’s not too pleasant, but mainly for the revitalization of the public authorities, with which we are already busy. Later you will get a receipt for the contents that can be redeemed at the Unkenburg police station, though it will only cover part of the damages. A commission established with the help of the former enemy has already begun work there. The empty shells of your buildings will also be cleaned until the facades gleam once again, and the necessary bricks will be set back in order so that you don’t come tumbling down. Until then, don’t abandon ship. We have just created a dove and given it wings. We will release it near the plague memorial. Wait a while before you return!”

Paul walks farther along the road that stretches out before him. Perhaps he should have followed the advice not to leave the ark. It smelled so awful there, however, and after the first meal he could not stay there anymore. They had gnawed on the pale bones of the animal. There was hardly anything left of Zerlina. Now only flight could save him. There was nothing to take along from the ark. Up onto the deck. It’s not far to the gate, no guard stands there. The gate is open. But can you go through it? Fear only lives in the ark. Freedom is possible only to he who conquers it. Jump into the sea of graves! What are you waiting for? There are so many on the ship, you shouldn’t leave it. The hand holds on to a post, the body hangs heavily from it. The bones hurt inside the belly, for they are sins, consumed sins. Are there any people out there? A foot carefully stretches out. It’s cooler out there than in here. The hand lets go of the post, the road is taken. There’s nothing to look at; therefore nobody looks back at you. A miracle that the feet still work. They lift up and down, and as a result move forward.

The day is cooler. On the road there are people wandering, always wandering. Among them are women. One looks so familiar. Paul speaks to her. Her name is Clarissa. Most people call here Clara, though she doesn’t like it when people call her Clara. Paul wants to know whether she knows of another who looks like her. No, she didn’t think so, but what was her name? Zerlina, no, I don’t know any Zerlina. She must be somewhere else. One comes across so many now. Indeed he is willing to probe more, but he doesn’t want to press the matter too hard. He doesn’t want to look for what doesn’t exist. Too often he has heard how maddening this can be. Paul had come to terms with it all; he will be alone if he is to go on at all. He will try, if only that life go on. Paul looks up. THE GOLDEN GRAPE. The inn is undamaged; it’s not located in any town, but rather outside town, and now it offers refreshments and a brief rest. The innkeeper is back, the garden itself is covered in frost. Barrels of Leitenberg beer, freshly tapped, tasting bitter after defeat. The concession has not been lost, it exists once more in peace.

“Innkeeper, I’d like to place an order!”

“The end of the war is here, but not victory. I have nothing.”

“Don’t make excuses! You are an inn and a coffee shop. What are you waiting for? It says it right there!”

“I’m not quite back in business yet. Also, my family hasn’t returned. The barmaid had to be let go and is long gone. I have nothing.”

“Everyone is coming. Some refreshments, quick! You have a ration, don’t you? So bring something, innkeeper!”

“You are displaced and on your way home. You actually shouldn’t be allowed to sit under these trees. But I have nothing against it if you just want to disappear again. Only wagoners can stop here.”

“None of them come anymore, and I don’t want to just sit. I want something to eat, but not rabbit. The bones are too sharp. The menu, please! I also want something to drink! I’ll pay more than any driver.”

“Don’t take out your troubles on an old man! Look, the kitchen range is not working. I can’t even light a fire, everything was burned by the enemy. My inn is completely ruined.”

“It’s the same everywhere, everything is finished!”

“Yes, yes, yes, that’s it! It’s all finished!”

“Yet it will come back! So bring the sausages, the cheese! Quick!”

“Nothing! I have no rations!”

“Beer and wine!”

“The empty barrels were rolled out of the cellar. They were filled with rubbish. Then they were tipped over and smashed up! The staves are busted!”

“You’re not telling the truth. Get something onto this table quick, or … or …”

“Or what? Whoever has traveled a long way cannot stop. Displaced. Have you not taken note of that?”

“I haven’t traveled that far on this lovely, free day. I don’t have that far to go either. Yet I’ve been on the move a long time, though at the start I was only eight kilometers away. The hand told me that.”

“I don’t understand what you’re saying. Free days have been postponed, perhaps all days.…”

“You’ve lost your mind, innkeeper! Or has nobody in Unkenburg told you that freedom has at last come?”

“I’ve never heard of Unkenburg. But that’s your business, which I don’t want to get into. You should know that it’s still a difficult time. Unrecognizable voices appearing everywhere have made it so. My friend, if I take a look at you, I don’t see a man, and all I hear is an unfamiliar voice. My wife and daughter were taken away, and you can just rest here quietly? Have you no heart at all, such that you sit here all the same when I have lost everything? Gone, gone, everything gone, yet there are those who still made plenty! Out of here, man! Out of here, you soulless creature!”