H. Adler - The Wall

“Anything in my line of work?”

“Not immediately. But do you think I can really support a line of work? Not at all!”

“Then you have nothing to recommend to me?”

“For sociologists I have nothing. Certainly not at the moment. You can certainly apply, that I already told you. And I will see what can be done, though it’s not up to me. Most of what we give is to natural science. Physics, chemistry, biology, geology and the rest. Otherwise, only when we get special assignments. They are very popular, and everyone goes after them, and then we choose someone.”

“Will you think of me if something comes up?”

“With great pleasure. It would be an honor.”

“And in between?”

“Take the forms with you! Have a look at them! Don’t skip any questions, fill out everything scrupulously! It will all be reviewed. A lot depends on the accompanying documents. You need six copies of everything; photocopies of documents are allowed.”

“I’m missing many papers. The war. I lost so much.”

“How terrible! You have to have the proper documents! Couldn’t you order copies from over there?”

“That would be very difficult — in fact, I fear, impossible.”

“Well, my dear friend, how you take care of that is your business. I really can’t be of any help to you! Somehow you’ll have to pull a rabbit out of your hat. You’ll need them everywhere, and not just for our foundation. Just imagine, if no one had any papers, how much crime could happen! Without documents, I’m telling you, you don’t even exist.”

“I don’t exist, Herr Singule. With that, you’ve touched on the truth.”

“Go on, enough of this romantic nonsense! What you need to do, if I may, is simply sit on your behind and write. That’s not so hard, is it?”

“I write a great deal! But it’s all in vain.”

“In vain.… Do you need me to say something crass! What talk! Do what you have to do and write every Tom, Dick, and Harry, if need be, until you get those documents! If there’s no other way, make a quick trip and take care of matters in person. They’ll give you those documents or a proper copy — it’s child’s play. When you have everything together, then concentrate on a curriculum vitae.”

“A résumé?”

“Yes, a vitae. Don’t you know Latin?”

“Of course.”

“Then do it!”

“What I don’t know is what to say. Everything escapes me. The entire past …”

“Toss such sentimentality to the devil! What you experienced is of interest to no one at all. Just what you’ve done, a real résumé—education, dates, important events and achievements. That’s all. And when you have that, then work on a thorough synopsis of your planned project. That’s easy, right?”

“I hope so.”

“Enough with such resistance! And submit a sample chapter as well.”

“Happy to.”

“It doesn’t need to be long. In fact, it’s better if it’s short, for you don’t have much time. They will only look at it and nothing else.”

“I understand, Doctor.”

“And get rid of the title! Are you so scatterbrained that you can’t remember that? And then the most important part — you need three, better yet, four or five references. Why do you look at me like that? Is there something else wrong?”

“No, no! But what kind of references?”

“Recommendations from internationally recognized figures, if possible from your special area, if possible from this country or America, if possible with attestations of your previous achievements and the likely scholarly worth of the planned project.”

“In all honesty, I doubt I can manage all that.”

“My dear friend, I’ve never met an applicant as difficult as you! If I didn’t like you so much, such talk by now would have forced me to throw you out.”

“Shall I leave?”

“Don’t be silly! And don’t be so sensitive! You can surely find a couple of sociologists to befriend, can’t you?”

“I should be so lucky!”

“Think for a minute. Do you know Professor Kratzenstein?”

“Yes.”

“Excellent! Then it’s done. He’s as good as having two or three!”

“If he will write something for me.”

“Oh, you’re such a pessimist! Just get on the bus tomorrow and go see him. Or, better yet, call him. Do you know his secretary?”

“Frau Fixler?”

“Well, then, excellent! You know everything you need to already! Put together a text tonight, go to Frau Fixler, explain the situation to her and that the Professor should sign it, and then next day just swing by and pick it up! That’s how it’s done. Quite simple. And who else do you know?”

“Not many. Dr. So-and-So.”

“Who?”

“Forgive me, Dr. Leonard Kauders.”

“What does he do?”

“He’s a docent in the history of economics, and the author of the book Work and Climate .”

“Never heard of it. It must be recent.”

“You know Kauders, don’t you?”

“I know thousands of people, my dear friend!”

“He did some work for you once.”

“There are hundreds who have! I can’t remember them all.”

“A consideration of the social themes in Russian literature—”

“Is he from Latvia?”

“No.”

“Too bad. Then nothing can be done.”

“I could get a recommendation from Kauders.”

“Better to let that go! You need names, names! But if you know Kratzenstein so well, then I wonder why you don’t simply go to him—”

Frau Singule interrupted this sentence with her entrance, laughing at us, pleased with how lively we talked with each other, and led us in to tea. The time dragged on, growing ever more unedifying. Dr. Singule complained about the shortage of good insect specialists, for whom he would pave the streets with gold, he being an external consultant to the firm Insecta, the biggest special concern in the area in the entire country, and Insecta had advertised to no avail for a good biologist. Things kept on like this until I excused myself for a moment. Afterward, the lady of the house was much cooler toward me. She set about to inform me that, unfortunately, her husband’s hands were tied, the American foundation had very firm guidelines, one could not support proposals that fell outside the parameters that would be granted a stipend, no matter how much one might wish to do so. That was really too bad, especially in my case, since I have such a delightful wife, whom one can only wish the best for, but in the end the foundation is not the only place in the world that should appeal to me; on the contrary, elsewhere there might be much better prospects, such as through Professor Kratzenstein, it being good that I had access to him, while Frau Singule would make sure to put in a good word with him in the name of her husband the next chance she got. I prepared to leave, for Singule was out of time and had a pressing engagement, and Frau Singule wanted to accompany him. And yet I couldn’t just run off, for the lady of the house surprised me with a gift that she pulled out of a table drawer. It was a bar of milk chocolate; Frau Singule didn’t have anything more suitable in the house, but Johanna was so slight and needed to eat something restorative, and a little bit of chocolate would no doubt please her. Then the biologist asked me if he could give me a lift in his car, but I declined, and thanked him for the lovely afternoon as I left with the request from Singule to ask around to see if I could find anyone from Latvia, as well as effusive good wishes for my well-being.

Who knew whether I was either so stupid or so clever not to let myself be thrown off by such terrible disappointments, applying myself doubly to my work with the firm belief that sheer effort and accomplishment would carry the day. I was too blind, and Johanna too inexperienced, to know that such an approach could never lead to a livelihood. After numerous requests and appeals, Uncle Karl Strauss finally sent a small sum that my parents had managed to spirit away to America just in time, though for me it was almost a fortune. He controlled the money, which I only learned about after asking around a great deal after the war, and offered a thousand reasons that he couldn’t just turn it over. The more I pressed him, the more stubbornly he insisted that I and my wife should emigrate to America, where we could both have jobs in his upscale clothing store. If one couldn’t get any money out of Europe because the countries there were broke, then certainly one should not send any money over from America but instead thank your lucky stars that you had a couple of dollars tucked away there. I still didn’t have the sum in hand when news reached me that Karl Strauss had suddenly died of a heart attack. We then used this amount to get ourselves through, although Johanna also had to sacrifice her limited savings and — with the exception of a small break when Michael was born — take in work at home, as she does to this day.