Fuminori Nakamura - Evil and the Mask

His mouth opened in a swallowing motion.

“At first I thought it would be okay if the missile missed the target, with only a few casualties. In that case there wouldn’t be a war, but the defense budget would skyrocket and new markets would open up for us. That would certainly be entertaining to watch, but now I think we can go further than that, because I’m already ruined, and of course the object of a plan born from ruin will be more ruin. I don’t care how many missiles rain down on central Tokyo. The country will be thrown into chaos, America and China will get involved, and the whole munitions industry will come along for the ride. That’s part of my plan too. American arms manufacturers will be delighted, at any rate, because Japan will buy more weapons. This is all several years down the track, but I’ve got it all planned out.”

He blew out a puff of air and rubbed his eyelid, as if the twitching was bothering him.

“It won’t go that smoothly,” I said. I could feel the corners of my mouth curling in a faint smile. “Even if people like you make your plans, humans don’t always react as you expect. Sure, we’re busy with our own problems, and it’s hard to pay much attention to contracts for rebuilding in Africa. But you’re carrying out your plan in Japan, right? I can’t see the Japanese public acting like you think they will.”

“That’s right. You’re not dumb, are you?” His voice grew stronger. “In fact, after we set things up, I think people’s reactions are likely to be even more extreme than we anticipate. We’ll just provide the catalyst, but the wave will pass through that human maelstrom and burst out in unexpected directions. Look at history. Before the Second World War, when Japan walked out of the League of Nations, the forerunner to the UN, Japan’s elite didn’t expect their stupidity to be greeted with wild applause by the public back home, did they? Even World War Two itself, which unleashed Father’s violence, the people supported it sincerely, fanatically. In other words, their frenzy provided the foundation for his violence. Do you think that the highest-ranking officials thought right from the start that the general populace would cooperate so eagerly with the war effort? They even continued to feed the public lies in order to manipulate them. But the people were busy and narrow-minded. They believed that they should slaughter foreigners to protect their friends and families. Their excitement and violence, rooted in a good cause, rose like a flood. It’s a fever, get it? That fever, that’s what I want. That fever, that flood, heading for doom.”

By now he was almost shouting.

“Everything fits together as part of the system. That JL group that’s active right now, their aim is probably to undermine authority. They’re trying to bring it all tumbling down. But even their attacks on authority are ultimately part of the system. Thanks to JL, people are far more security-conscious, and at the moment my security firms are making a killing. Burglar alarms, everything, they’re selling like crazy. Share prices are rising too, so the shareholders are making more money. The more they stir up trouble, the more money us rich people make. That’s how the system works. You see? They probably don’t even realize it themselves, but we actually provide some of their funding. This world is a monster.”

He laughed and his eyes grew wider.

“Now that I would love to see. All the buildings collapsing, the fortress of people’s happiness collapsing because their closed-up nature allows wars to break out and they get caught up in them. All that violent karma flying through space and time, converging on a single point. Wouldn’t that be a sight? For warped specimens like us? As I looked on the ruins of the earth, with my dying breath I would mutter, ‘Construction boom.’ If the human race dies out entirely, then beauty and morality will disappear too. If that happens, even the gods who have neglected this world for so long will scowl with displeasure — if gods have eyebrows, that is. The human race, that failed experiment, will take revenge on the gods through their own downfall. Revenge on their father. Maybe the gods will come to stop it partway through. If they do, humans will be able to see them in person for the first time. Wouldn’t that be amusing? It can all go to hell. In my dystopia, it can all just disappear!”

Suddenly he started to tremble, eyes blazing. I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, but I couldn’t tear my eyes away from him.

“Ah, here it comes! Now!”

He clamped his lips tightly together, sweat pouring off him, still staring into space. His hands fumbled under the table, searching for something.

“Right. How about it?”

His hands came out holding a knife. Slowly, carefully, he placed it on the table like some precious object.

At some point the heater had stopped blowing out warm air, and I was getting cold. He took his hand away from the knife and sat rigid, as though turned to stone. His eyes remained unblinking, like a man possessed. I remembered the exalted state he had been in last time we met, similar to this. His gaze bored into mine, and I couldn’t break free.

“Look!” he whispered in a choked voice, as if afraid of being heard. “Don’t you see? Look! Now’s your chance … look, do it, don’t miss it. What are you waiting for? Look, here’s my throat. Like this, like this.”

He was making stabbing motions with an imaginary knife, as though teaching a child how to use one.

“This person called Mikihiko Kuki, he’s already way past breaking point. Now’s the perfect opportunity, don’t miss it! Don’t let it get away. Yeah? Quick! Before the moment passes. Quick, it’s slipping away!”

He forced the knife into my hand. I couldn’t move.

“Now is the time. This is what you see at the limits of depression. Death isn’t the end, it’s just one part, it’s just one component. Give me that part, while I’m in this state, the epitome of evil, then my depression will break through, it will be complete, I will attain my true nature. Touched by death, the pleasure of extinction, at that instant I’ll overflow, I’ll become myself. I’ll become my true self, death itself, the end itself, perfectly, perfectly, in that single second. It will all soak right through me. I’ll join every other death, the pain and death of every person in every age, I’ll savor them all. Every nerve that runs through my body will experience an unbearable delight as that huge, final wave washes over me. That’s the moment. That’s what my life is about, to go there, to experience that feeling. Everything yearns for oblivion. No matter how hard people struggle, all things are just waiting for death, trembling with joy. That’s the reality of the world. It’s here, the end of everything, it’s really coming, subverting and perverting our innate energy.”

He squirmed in his seat, speaking coaxingly, as though whispering words of love.

“Quick! It’s all right. I’ve turned into this gigantic, grotesque monster before your eyes. You will be forgiven. The murders you’ve committed, they will all be forgiven. All your sins will disappear, by destroying an evil like me, by saving the lives of tens of thousands of people.”

The knife started to shake in my hand.

“I’m right, aren’t I? If I die, it will all be over, and I can become my true self. Kaori will be yours. Here’s my throat, one second will solve everything, the depression that’s holding me back, the revelation of my real self. Right here, right now. I can feel it coming.”

I couldn’t breathe. His soft, fat neck was right there in front of me.

“Do it quick. Yes, like that … Humans have always done this. They’ve always solved problems like this, by killing people they think are evil, by killing people who threaten their well-being. A man like me, who wants to destroy humanity, I’m an abomination, aren’t I, for all those people who want happiness, even for the gods? Aren’t I?”