David Peace - Red or Dead

and in the silence. Bill cursed his hands,

his empty, empty hands.

…

On the bench again, the Anfield bench again. On a Monday night, the last Monday night in April. In a madhouse of electric noise that hammered the senses. Bill watched Bremner win the toss. And Bremner choose to make Liverpool Football Club play towards the Spion Kop in the first half. It was a gamble, it was a risk. And in a madhouse of electric noise that hammered the senses. From the first minute, Liverpool Football Club attacked and attacked. In a madhouse of electric noise that hammered the senses. From the very back to the front, from Tommy Lawrence to Chris Lawler, Lawler to Geoff Strong, Strong to Tommy Smith, Smith to Ronnie Yeats, Yeats to Emlyn Hughes, Hughes to Ian Callaghan, Callaghan to Bobby Graham, Graham to Alun Evans, Evans to Ian St John and from St John to Peter Thompson. In a madhouse of electric noise that hammered the senses. The players of Leeds United were rattled, the players of Leeds United were shaken. The challenges rash and the tackles fierce. Tommy Smith needed treatment. Tommy Lawrence needed treatment. Terry Cooper needed treatment. Gary Sprake needed treatment. And Mick Jones needed treatment. But in the madhouse of electric noise that hammered the senses. The players of Leeds United began to find their feet, the players of Leeds United began to find their rhythm. And to defend and to defend. From the very front to the back, from Gray to Giles, Giles to Jones, Jones to Madeley, Madeley to O’Grady, O’Grady to Hunter, Hunter to Charlton, Charlton to Bremner, Bremner to Cooper, Cooper to Reaney and from Reaney to Sprake. In a madhouse of electric noise that hammered the senses. The white cliffs repelled the red waves. The shot from Ian Callaghan and the header from Alun Evans. The white cliffs stood and the red waves broke. In a madhouse of electric noise that hammered the senses. For minute after minute, long minute after long minute. In the seventy-second minute, Ian St John lobbed the ball into the penalty area. The ball found Alun Evans in the penalty area. Evans unmarked. The goal unguarded. The goal at his mercy. Evans shot and Evans missed. And in the madhouse of electric noise that hammered the senses. Hammered and hammered, hammered and hammered. The long minutes became short minutes, the short minutes became dying minutes. In the madhouse of electric noise that hammered the senses. Hammered and hammered. The dying minutes, the last minute. Hammered. The last minute, the last seconds. And hammered. The last seconds, the last second. Hammered. And in that last second, Bill watched the referee put his whistle to his lips. And the referee blew his whistle. And in the madhouse of electric noise that had hammered the senses. Liverpool Football Club had drawn nil — nil with Leeds United. And Leeds United had got their point. Their last point. And Leeds United were the Champions of England for the first time in the history of Leeds United Association Football Club. But the players of Leeds United Association Football Club did not leap into the air. The Anfield air. The players of Leeds United Association Football Club did not jump for joy into the night. The Anfield night. The players of Leeds United Association Football Club stood upon the pitch. The Anfield pitch. Their backs bent in half, their hands upon their thighs. Gasping for air, panting for breath. Until slowly, one by one, man by man, the players of Leeds United Association Football Club realised what they had done, knew what they had achieved. And the players of Leeds United Association Football Club raised their heads. And the players of Leeds United Association Football Club raised their arms. In salute and in victory. And they walked with heads held high, they strode with arms raised high, towards their own supporters, the supporters of Leeds United Association Football Club. In salute and in victory. In victory.

On the touchline, the Anfield touchline. Bill shook the hand of Don Revie. And Bill said, Congratulations, Don. Congratulations. You are a great team, Don. A great team. And you are worthy and deserving champions, Don. Champions of England.

Thank you, said Don Revie. Thank you, Bill. You cannot know what your words mean. What your praise means to me. Thank you for your words, Bill. Thank you for your praise …

Bill nodded. And Bill said, Now lead your team, Don. Lead your team to the Kop. So the Spion Kop can applaud you, Don. So the Spion Kop can salute you, too.

Don Revie walked onto the pitch. The Anfield pitch. Don Revie went up to his players. The players of Leeds United. And Don Revie led the players of Leeds United down the pitch. The Anfield pitch. Towards the Kop. The Spion Kop. And there was silence. Sudden silence, momentary silence. And then there was applause. From the Kop. There were cheers. From the Spion Kop. And the Spion Kop hailed the new Champions of England, the Spion Kop saluted Leeds United Association Football Club. In their victory.

In the tunnel, the Anfield tunnel. Bill picked up a crate. A crate of champagne. Bill went into the dressing room. The away dressing room. And Bill put down the crate of champagne on a bench in the away dressing room. The Champions’ dressing room. And then Bill walked out of the away dressing room. The Champions’ dressing room. And Bill walked into the home dressing room. The silent dressing room. And Bill heard the studs of the Leeds United players coming down the tunnel. The Anfield tunnel. Bill heard the songs of the Leeds United players. The songs of celebration. The champagne corks and the champagne toasts. The toasts to victory. And Bill looked around the dressing room. The losers’ dressing room. From player to player. These players who had given everything, these players who had won nothing. And Bill looked at Bob Paisley, Reuben Bennett, Joe Fagan and Ronnie Moran. These men who had given everything, these men who had won nothing. And Bill had no words.

But Emlyn Hughes had words. And Hughes jumped up –

Come on, lads. Come on! Why the long faces? Why the sad frowns? We still finished above Everton. Ha! We still finished second, lads. Ha! We’re still the runners-up. Ha! I don’t think runners-up is to be sneezed at, lads. Ha! I don’t think second place is so bad …

Bill stared at Emlyn Hughes. Bill held out his hands towards Hughes. And Bill said, Look at my hands, son. Look at these hands. What do you see in these hands, son? What do you see?

Nothing, said Emlyn Hughes. Nothing, Boss.

Bill nodded. And Bill said, You get nothing for coming second, son. Because if you are second, you are nothing. You are nowhere –

First is first. Second is nowhere.

…

In the drive, in the car. Bill switched off the headlights. In the night, the last night. Bill switched on the headlights. In the drive, in the car. On and then off, off and then on. In the night, the last night. Bill remembered every run. Every kick. Every pass. Every tackle. Every shot. In the drive, in the car. In the night, the last night. Every run, every kick, every pass, every tackle and every shot of every game. Every single game of the season. The headlights off, the headlights on. Liverpool Football Club had played forty-two League games this season. Liverpool Football Club had lost six, drawn eleven and won twenty-five of those forty-two games. Liverpool Football Club had conceded twenty-four goals and scored sixty-three goals in those forty-two games. And Liverpool Football Club had finished the season with sixty-one points. Sixty-one points, sixty-three goals and forty-two games. In the drive, in the car. In the night, the last night. The headlights on, the headlights off. Every run, every kick, every pass, every tackle and every shot of every game. Every single game of those forty-two games. And in the drive, in the car. In the night, that last night. Bill fought back tears. Forty-two games, sixty-three goals. Bill struggled to breathe. And sixty-one points –