David Peace - Red or Dead

Thank you, Bill. Thank you very much. It’s not been an easy decision to make. It’s been the hardest decision of my life. But it comes to us all. It comes to us all, Bill. Because things do not go on forever. Things do not last forever, Bill. We are none of us immortal. None of us immortal, Bill …

…

In the house, in their kitchen. Bill got up from the table. Bill picked up the plates. Bill walked over to the sink. Bill put the plates in the sink. Bill walked back over to the kitchen table. Bill picked up the salt and pepper pots. Bill put them in the cupboard. Bill walked back over to the table. Bill took the cloth off the table. Bill walked over to the back door. Bill opened the back door. Bill stepped outside. Bill stood on the step. Bill shook the cloth. Bill stepped back into the kitchen. Bill closed the door. Bill folded up the tablecloth. Bill put it in the drawer. Bill walked back over to the sink. Bill turned on the taps. Bill squeezed washing-up liquid into the sink. Bill turned off the taps. Bill picked up the scrubbing brush. Bill washed up the plates, Bill washed up the pans. Bill washed up the knives and forks. Bill put them on the draining board. Bill pulled out the plug. Bill dried his hands. Bill picked up the tea towel. And Bill dried up the pans. Bill dried up the plates. Bill dried up the knives and forks. Bill put the pans in one cupboard. Bill put the plates in another. And Bill put the knives and forks in the drawer. Bill walked back over to the sink. Bill picked up the dishcloth. Bill wiped down the draining board. Bill turned on the taps again. Bill rinsed the dishcloth under the taps. Bill turned off the taps. Bill squeezed the water out of the dishcloth. Bill put the dishcloth down next to the bottle of washing-up liquid. Bill turned around. Bill looked round the kitchen. Bill turned back to the sink. Bill bent down. Bill opened the cupboard under the sink. Bill took out a bucket from under the sink. Bill bent back down. Bill opened a box under the sink. Bill took out a Brillo pad from the box. Bill closed the cupboard door. Bill picked up the bucket. Bill put the bucket in the sink. Bill turned the taps on again. Bill filled the bucket half full. Bill turned off the taps. Bill took the bucket and the Brillo pad over to the cooker. Bill put down the bucket in front of the cooker. Bill opened the oven door. Bill looked inside the oven. Bill could see the dirt. Bill could smell the fat. Bill knelt down on the kitchen floor. Bill unbuttoned the cuffs of his shirt. Bill rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. Bill picked up the Brillo pad. Bill sank the Brillo pad into the bucket of water. Bill pulled the Brillo pad back up, out of the water. Bill squeezed the water from the Brillo pad. The wet, steel wool. Bill squeezed it tighter. Bill put his hand inside the oven. Into the dirt, amongst the fat. In the kitchen, on the floor. On his knees. Bill began to scrub. Liverpool Football Club had lost two — nil to Nottingham Forest. On his knees. Bill began to scour. At home, at Anfield. On his knees. Bill began to clean. Liverpool Football Club were no longer first in the First Division. On his knees, to clean and clean again. Liverpool Football Club were now second in the First Division. On his knees, on his knees. Leeds United now first in the First Division. Among the dirt,

among the fat. On his knees.

…

On the bench, the Anfield bench. Bill watched Shilton save from Ian St John. And Shilton save from Peter Thompson. And in the thirty-first minute, Bill watched Glover cross a high ball in from the left. Ron Yeats jumped and Lochhead jumped. But Yeats did not meet the ball. Lochhead met the ball. Lochhead headed the ball. And Lochhead scored. And in the fortieth minute, Bill watched Sjöberg handle the ball in the Leicester City penalty area. The referee blew his whistle. The referee awarded a penalty to Liverpool Football Club. Tommy Smith put the ball on the penalty spot. Smith struck the ball. And Shilton saved from Smith. And on the bench, the Anfield bench. Bill watched Shilton save from Chris Lawler. Shilton save from Emlyn Hughes. And Shilton save from Ian Callaghan. And on the bench, the Anfield bench. Bill turned to Bobby Graham. And Bill told Graham to warm up. And in the seventieth minute, Bill stood up. And on the touchline, the Anfield touchline. Bill gesticulated at Ronnie Yeats. Bill called over Ronnie. Bill spoke to Ronnie. And Yeats nodded. And on the pitch, the Anfield pitch. Yeats walked towards Roger Hunt. And Yeats spoke to Hunt. But Hunt shook his head. And Hunt walked away. And on the touchline, the Anfield touchline. Bill cursed. And Bill gesticulated at the referee. Bill called over the referee. Bill spoke to the referee. And the referee nodded. And on the pitch, the Anfield pitch. The referee walked towards Roger Hunt. The referee spoke to Hunt. And now Hunt looked up at the Kop. The Spion Kop. And Hunt looked up into the sky. The Anfield sky. And Hunt felt the ground beneath his feet move. The Anfield ground. And Hunt felt the world turn upside down. The Anfield world. And Hunt walked slowly across the pitch. The Anfield pitch. And Hunt walked towards the touchline. The Anfield touchline. And Hunt took off his shirt. His Liverpool shirt. And Hunt threw his Liverpool shirt into the dug-out. The Anfield dug-out. And Hunt ran down the tunnel. The Anfield tunnel. Into the darkness. The darkness. And in the ninetieth minute, the referee blew his whistle. The final whistle. And Liverpool Football Club were out of the FA Cup. Liverpool Football Club had lost one — nil to Leicester City in the Fifth Round replay of the FA Cup. At home,

at Anfield. Bill walked down the tunnel. The Anfield tunnel. Bill walked into the dressing room. The Liverpool dressing room. The Liverpool dressing room silent, the Liverpool dressing room waiting. Bill walked up to Roger Hunt. Roger Hunt sat silent, Roger Hunt sat waiting. And Bill looked down at Roger Hunt. Bill handed Roger Hunt his shirt. His Liverpool shirt. And Bill said, I thought you were more of a sportsman than to ever do something like that, son.

The shirt in his hands. The Liverpool shirt in his hands. Roger Hunt looked up at Bill. The tears in his tears –

And I thought you had more respect for me. After all the games I have played for you, after all the goals I have scored for you. I thought you had more respect for me than to take me off, than to substitute me. At home, at Anfield. In front of our own people, in front of our own supporters. I would never have believed you would do such a thing. I would have never believed you could do such a thing. I was shocked and I was hurt, Boss …

Bill saw the shirt in the hands of Roger Hunt. The Liverpool shirt. And Bill saw the tears in the eyes of Roger Hunt. And Bill sat down beside Roger Hunt. And Bill put his arm around the shoulders of Roger Hunt. And Bill said, I believe you are one of the greatest centre-forwards I have ever seen, son. I believe you have played in some of the greatest games I have ever seen. I believe you have scored some of the greatest goals I have ever seen. But it is not about me. And it is not about you. You did not play in those games for me. You did not score those goals for me. You played in those games for Liverpool Football Club. For the team. And for the supporters of Liverpool Football Club. For the people. And so you scored those goals for Liverpool Football Club. For the team. And for the supporters of Liverpool Football Club. For the people. Not for me, son. And not for you. Every single decision we make, every single thing we do, is for Liverpool Football Club. For the team. And for the supporters of Liverpool Football Club. For the people. Not for you, not for me. For the team, for the people.

…

In the house, in their bedroom. In the dark and in the silence. Bill stared up at the ceiling. The bedroom ceiling. And Bill saw the tables on the ceiling. The bedroom ceiling. Bill saw the standings on the ceiling. The bedroom ceiling. Bill knew if Leeds United lost their last two games. Their game against Liverpool Football Club and their game against Nottingham Forest. And if Liverpool Football Club won their last three games. Their game against Leeds United, their game against Manchester City and their game against Newcastle United. Then Liverpool Football Club would be the Champions of England. In their house, in the bedroom. Bill knew Liverpool Football Club had to beat Leeds United tomorrow night. But Bill knew Leeds United could lose tomorrow night and still be the Champions of England. If Leeds United drew with Nottingham Forest. Leeds United would still be the Champions of England. In the dark and in the silence. Bill knew it was out of his hands. It was out of his hands. And in the dark,