David Peace - Red or Dead

In the Eastham Lodge Golf Club. In the dining room. At their tables, after their dinner. With their cigars and with their drinks. The members of the Eastham Lodge Golf Club laughed. And the members of the Eastham Lodge Golf Club clapped. And in his dinner jacket. His black dinner jacket. His bow tie. His black bow tie. Bill smiled. And Bill said, But I have to confess. In one case. With one footballer. One footballer who took to the golf. I have only myself to blame. It was my own bloody fault. Because before one game, an away game. We were staying at this hotel. And we’d got there a wee bit too early. Even for me. Because I always like to be early. But we were too early. And the players were moping about, moaning. Moping about because they had nothing to do, moaning they were bored. And I tell you, there is nothing worse than a bunch of moping, moaning footballers. And this hotel, this hotel we were staying in. This hotel had a little course, a wee golf course. Nothing dramatic, you understand? Nothing spectacular. But to stop all their moping about, to stop all their moaning. I said they could go out for a game. A quick game, just this once. But I said, I’m coming, too. Not to play, just to watch. To make sure you don’t do anything daft. Make sure you don’t go and do anything silly and go and injure yourselves. Before the game, the match tomorrow. And so there I was, watching them, keeping my eye on them. And Tommy Smith, he was there. And he must have still been only a boy. Only just in the team. And Tommy had never played golf before, he’d never even seen a bloody golf course before. And so all the older lads. Your Ian St Johns and your Roger Hunts. They were teasing the boy, taking the mick out of Tommy. But Tommy being Tommy. Even then, even when he still just a young boy. He picked up a golf club. The very first time he’d ever picked up a club. And he took his first swing, his first shot. His very first shot with a golf club. And he got a hole-in-one. A bloody hole-in-one! With his first-ever shot. Unbelievable. Bloody unbelievable! And that shut up all them older lads. Your Ian St Johns and your Roger Hunts. And I said, Jesus Christ, Tommy. You’re a natural. A bloody natural! And Tommy was so made up. He was so pleased with himself that he decided this was the game for him. That golf was the game for him. And so you see, that was my fault. My own bloody fault. Because I encouraged him. I couldn’t help myself. But in fairness, it didn’t last long. I don’t think golf is the game for Tommy, either. In fact, I think football is the only game for Tommy. I mean, I tried to get him interested in the boxing. Because as you all know, Tommy is a hard man. A very hard man. And so I used to try to get him interested in the boxing. In fact, I tried so hard, I even bought him a pair of gloves. A pair of boxing gloves. But actually, I bought a pair for every player. A pair of boxing gloves for every player. Because I used to tell my players. Every Friday night, the night before the match. I used to tell them all to wear their boxing gloves. To wear their boxing gloves in bed!

In the Eastham Lodge Golf Club. In the dining room. At their tables, after their dinner. With their cigars and with their drinks. The members of the Eastham Lodge Golf Club laughed. The members of the Eastham Lodge Golf Club clapped. And now they got to their feet for Bill. And they applauded Bill. And they thanked Bill. And in his dinner jacket. His black dinner jacket. His bow tie. His black bow tie. Bill nodded. And Bill smiled.

Now George Higham stepped forward. George Higham thanked Bill. And George Higham handed Bill a red leather binder –

Bill looked down at the red leather binder. And Bill said, What’s this, George? It’s not This Is Your Life again, is it?

Yes, said George Higham. It is, Bill.

And Bill opened the red leather binder. And Bill could not believe his eyes. Inside the red leather binder was the programme for the 1938 FA Cup Final. The programme for the 1938 FA Cup Final between Huddersfield Town and Preston North End. The 1938 FA Cup Final in which Bill had played for Preston North End. The 1938 FA Cup Final which Preston North End had won. And Bill stared down at the programme. And Bill could not speak –

Well, you know how I collect memorabilia, Bill. Football memorabilia, said George Higham. Well, we just wanted to get you something nice, Bill. And we knew you would never accept any money. So I hit upon this idea for you, Bill. And I managed to find one, through my contacts. My contacts with other collectors. Because I believe you do not have one, you do not still have yours, Bill?

Bill stared down at the programme. Bill shook his head. And Bill said, No, George. I don’t. I don’t have one any more …

Well, you do now, said George Higham. You do now, Bill.

And Bill stared down at the programme again. And Bill nodded. Bill fought back tears. Bill struggled to breathe. And then Bill whispered, Thank you, George. Thank you. I do all these events. All these events for people. And I’m happy to do them. I am happy to do them for people. But this is the first time anyone has ever thought what I would like. So thank you, George. Thank you very much.

On Thursday 3 May, 1979, thirteen million, six hundred and ninety-seven thousand, nine hundred and twenty-three folk voted for the Conservative Party. That day, eleven million, five hundred and thirty-two thousand, two hundred and eighteen folk voted for the Labour Party. That evening, the Conservative Party won three hundred and thirty-three seats in the House of Commons. That evening, the Labour Party won two hundred and sixty-nine seats in the House of Commons. That night, the Conservative Party won the 1979 General Election. That night, Margaret Thatcher, the Member of Parliament for Finchley in London, who had been born in Grantham and who supported no one, became the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. That night, James Callaghan, the Member of Parliament for Cardiff South East, who had been born in Portsmouth and who preferred rugby to soccer, was no longer the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. In the house, in their front room, Bill Shankly got up from his armchair. Bill Shankly got to his feet. Bill Shankly walked over to the television. Bill Shankly switched off the television. Bill Shankly walked over to the window. Bill Shankly drew back the curtains. Bill Shankly stared out through the window. Bill Shankly stared down the street. The empty street, the silent houses. Their curtains drawn, their doors locked. Forever drawn and double locked.

Despite the times, despite the world. The summer had still come again, another season come again. But Bill had not taken the train again. The train to Euston Station, London. Bill had not taken a cab again. The cab to Wembley Stadium. And so Bill had not gone down the corridors again. The Wembley corridors again. Bill had not stood before the dressing-room door again. The Liverpool dressing-room door again. And Bill had not taken his seat in the stands at Wembley Stadium. Bill had stayed at home, in his Liverpool home. In his front room, in his armchair. Bill listened to the 1979 FA Charity Shield match between Liverpool Football Club and Arsenal Football Club on the radio. In his armchair, in his front room. In his home, his Liverpool home. On his own, all on his own. Bill listened to Terry McDermott score for Liverpool Football Club. Bill listened to Kenny Dalglish score for Liverpool Football Club. And Bill listened to Terry McDermott score again for Liverpool Football Club. And then Bill heard Alan Sunderland score for Arsenal Football Club. And Bill got up from his armchair. In his front room. Bill got to his feet. Bill walked over to the radio. Bill switched off the radio. And Bill heard the telephone ringing. In the hall. Bill picked up the telephone. And Bill listened as a journalist introduced himself to Bill. And apologised for bothering him. Bothering and disturbing Bill. And then the journalist asked Bill for his thoughts. His thoughts on the match he had just listened to, his thoughts on the season to come. And in the hall, on the telephone. Bill breathed out. And Bill said, Well, we must get a wee bit of sanity back. That is the first thing, the most important thing of all. Because there is madness. Madness in the world, madness in the game. Madness in some of these fees that are being paid. It seems that suddenly everything has got out of hand, money-wise, transfer-wise. And the players themselves, they haven’t helped. I mean, I was all in favour of freedom of contract. Don’t misunderstand me, don’t get me wrong. The clubs had things too much their own way. But now that freedom is being abused. They want freedom for themselves alone. I mean, everyone is out for themselves, every man out for himself. I mean, I bought players like Kevin Keegan, Ray Clemence and Larry Lloyd for the kind of money that today players are getting for their slice of the fee, their signing-on fee. Their own bloody fee! Now that to me is madness. That can’t be right, it must be wrong. And some managers, they don’t seem to mind what they pay. But the working man, he should be sick about it. He pays his money, too, more and more. And it is his money. His money they are throwing about. But in the end, I think the whole business will find its own level. It has to come to its senses. And maybe it will happen this season. That is what I would like to see. The first thing, the most important thing of all. A wee bit of sanity coming back into the game, into the world …