David Peace - Red or Dead

How about a cup of tea now, asked Ness. A wee rest now? Before you go back out again, love?

Oh no. No thank you, love. Not now. I want to get straight into the garden. And get started, love …

And Bill walked over to the back door. Bill opened the back door. Bill stepped out into the garden. Their small back garden. Bill walked over to the shed. Their little garden shed. Bill opened the shed door. Bill picked up his gardening gloves from the shelf in the shed. Bill put on his gardening gloves. Bill picked up a big black bin bag. Bill walked over to one corner of the garden. With his gloves and with his bag. And Bill began to walk up and down the lawn. Their small back lawn. His head bent forward, staring down at the grass. Bill picked up every little stone he saw. Every little piece of grit and every little pebble. Bill pulled up every little weed he saw. Every little clover and every little dandelion. Bill put the little stones and the little weeds into his big black bin bag. Bill used the heel of his boot to tread down the ground. To fill in every little divot, to fill in every little hole. Up the garden and then down the garden. In a straight line. From one end of their small back garden to the other. Up and then down again. Four times, in four straight lines. Up and then down, up and then down again. Bill walked the length of their small back garden. Picking up stones, pulling up weeds. Filling in divots, filling in holes. And then Bill put down the big black bin bag on the flagstones beneath the kitchen window. Bill walked back over to the shed. Their little garden shed. Bill went back inside the shed. Bill picked up the lawn mower. The red Shanks manual lawn mower. Bill took out the lawn mower from the shed. Bill carried the lawn mower over to one corner of the garden. Bill put down the mower on the lawn. And Bill began to mow. Up the garden and then down the garden. In a straight line. From one end of their small back garden to the other. Up and then down again. Four times, in four straight lines. Up and then down, up and then down again. Bill mowed their small back lawn. And then Bill set down the mower on the flagstones beneath the kitchen window. Bill walked back over to the shed. Their little garden shed. Bill went back inside the shed. Bill picked up a rake. Bill took the rake from the shed. Bill carried the rake over to the corner of the garden. And Bill began to rake. Up the garden and then down the garden. In a straight line. From one end of their small back garden to the other. Up and then down again. Four times, in four straight lines. Up and then down, up and then down again. Bill raked their small back lawn. Until there were four small piles of loose cut grass. And then Bill walked back over to the flagstones beneath the kitchen window. Bill picked up the big black bin bag again. Bill carried the big black bin bag over to the first small pile of loose cut grass. Bill gathered up the first small pile of loose cut grass. Bill dropped the loose cut grass into the big black bin bag. Bill carried the big black bin bag over to the second small pile of loose cut grass. And to the third. And then to the fourth. Until Bill had gathered up all four small piles of loose cut grass. And dropped them into the big black bin bag. And then Bill carried the big black bin bag over to the corner of the garden. The corner of the lawn. And again Bill began to walk up and down the lawn. Their small back lawn. His head bent forward, staring down at the grass. Bill picked up every little piece of loose cut grass he saw. Every little blade, every little scrap. Bill put the little pieces of loose cut grass into his big black bin bag. Up the garden and then down the garden. In a straight line. From one end of their small back garden to the other. Up and then down again. Four times, in four straight lines. Up and then down, up and then down again. Bill walked the length of their small back garden. Picking up blades, picking up scraps. And then Bill put down the big black bin bag on the flagstones beneath the kitchen window. Bill walked back over to the shed. Their little garden shed. Bill went back inside the shed. Bill picked up a pair of shears. Garden shears. Bill carried the shears over to the first border of the lawn. And Bill began to trim the first border. And the second border. And the third. And then Bill trimmed the border between the flagstones and the lawn. And then Bill put down the shears on the flagstones beneath the kitchen window. Bill picked up the big black bin bag again. Bill carried the big black bin bag over to the first border. And Bill began to gather up the loose cut grass from the first border. Every blade and every scrap. And the fallen petals and the deadheads. Bill put them into the big black bin bag. And from the second border. The loose cut grass. The fallen petals and the deadheads. And then from the third. Until there was no more loose cut grass. No more petals and no more deadheads. And then Bill gathered up the loose cut grass from the last border. The border between the flagstones and the lawn. And then Bill put down the big black bin bag on the flagstones beneath the kitchen window. Bill walked back over to the shed. Their little garden shed. Bill went back inside the shed. Bill picked up a trowel. Bill picked up a bucket. Bill carried the trowel and the bucket over to the first border. And then Bill began to weed. On his lawn, on his knees. Bill weeded and Bill weeded. In the soil, on his knees. Between the flowers and between the plants. The first border. And the second border. And then the third. Bill pulled up weeds. Bill put the weeds into the bucket. Until there were no more weeds. And then Bill carried the bucket of weeds over to the flagstones beneath the kitchen window. Bill opened up the big black bin bag. Bill emptied the bucket of weeds into the big black bin bag. And then Bill cleaned the trowel. Bill cleaned the shears. Bill cleaned the rake. And the blades of the mower. Bill cleaned and Bill cleaned. On the flagstones, on his knees. And then Bill walked back over to the shed. Their little garden shed. Bill went back inside the shed. Bill picked up a broom. Bill carried the broom over to the flagstones beneath the kitchen window. And then Bill began to sweep the flagstones. To sweep up all the little blades of grass. All the little clumps of soil. Into a pile. And then Bill put down the broom. Bill gathered up the pile of grass. The pile of soil. Bill put the pile of grass, the pile of soil, into the big black bin bag. And then Bill picked up the broom again. Bill picked up the big black bin bag. Bill carried the broom and the bin bag back over to the shed. Their little garden shed. Bill put down the bin bag. Bill went back inside the shed. And then Bill began to sweep. To sweep up all the dirt and all the dust in the shed. Into a pile. And then Bill leant the broom against the wall of the shed. Bill gathered up the pile of dirt. The pile of dust. Bill put the pile of dirt, the pile of dust, into the big black bin bag. And then Bill walked back over to the flagstones beneath the kitchen window. Bill picked up the lawn mower. Bill carried the mower back over to the shed. Bill put the mower back into the shed. Bill walked back over to the flagstones. Bill picked up the rake and the shears. Bill carried the rake and the shears back over to the shed. Bill put the rake and the shears back inside the shed. Bill walked back over to the flagstones. Bill picked up the trowel and the bucket. Bill carried the trowel and the bucket back over to the shed. Bill put the trowel and the bucket back inside the shed. And then Bill picked up the big black bin bag. Bill carried the big black bin bag back over to one corner of the garden. With his gloves and with his bag. Bill began to walk up and down the lawn again. Their small back lawn. His head bent forward, staring down at the grass. At the borders. Looking for any piece of loose cut grass he had missed. Any little stone or any little weed. A fallen petal or a deadhead. Up the garden and then down the garden. In a straight line. From one end of their small back garden to the other. Up and then down again. Four times, in four straight lines. Up and then down, up and then down again. Bill walked the length of their small back garden. And then Bill carried the big black bin bag back over to the shed. Bill tied up the top of the big black bin bag. Bill put the big black bin bag inside the shed. Bill took off his gloves. His gardening gloves. Bill put the gloves back on the shelf inside the shed. Their little garden shed. And Bill closed the shed door. In the sunshine, on the flagstones. Bill looked at the garden. Everything was neat, everything was tidy. And in the sunshine, on the flagstones. Bill looked at his watch again. It was half past four in the afternoon. Bill had washed the car. Bill had mowed the lawn. Bill had weeded the garden. And Bill had tidied up the shed. It was half past four in the afternoon. And there was nothing more to do. That was it,