David Peace - Red or Dead

On the bench, the bench at Anfield. In the sixty-seventh minute, Bill and forty-three thousand, eight hundred and seventy-five folk watched Steve Heighway score. And in the eightieth minute, they watched Kevin Keegan score. And Liverpool Football Club beat Ipswich Town two — one. At home,

at Anfield. On the Friday morning. The Friday morning before Liverpool Football Club would play Everton Football Club. Away from home, away from Anfield. Brian Hall was standing in the corridor outside the door to the office of Bill Shankly. Brian Hall was fed up, Brian Hall was frustrated. Fed up with being in and out of the team, frustrated at being the twelfth man. Brian Hall had had enough. He had rehearsed the words he would say to Bill Shankly, he had got the words straight in his mind. Brian Hall knocked on the door to the office of Bill Shankly. Brian Hall opened the door –

And Bill looked up from his desk. Up from his typewriter. And Bill said, Hello, son. How are you today? Sit yourself down, son …

Thank you, said Brian Hall. But I’d rather stand, Boss.

Bill shrugged. And Bill said, Suit yourself, son. So what’s on your mind, son? Come on now. Don’t be keeping me guessing now …

I’ve decided I want a transfer, Boss …

Bill leapt to his feet. And Bill shouted, A transfer? Jesus Christ, son. But you’re playing tomorrow. Jesus Christ, son. What will we do?

I’m playing, asked Brian Hall.

Of course you’re playing. Jesus Christ, son. I’m not going to leave my best player out. Not when we’re playing bloody Everton. No bloody way. Jesus Christ, son. What’s wrong with you? A transfer? Jesus Christ. Now be off with you, son. Get out of here. Before I change my mind, son. Go on, get out …

On the bench, the bench at Goodison Park. In the eightieth minute, Bill and fifty-four thousand, two hundred and sixty-nine Merseyside folk watched Emlyn Hughes score. And eight minutes later, they watched Hughes score again. And Liverpool Football Club beat Everton Football Club two — nil. Away from home, away from Anfield. That evening, Arsenal Football Club had forty-five points. And Liverpool Football Club had forty-six points. That evening, Liverpool Football Club were first again in the First Division. First again, by one point. One point and with a game in hand –

On the bench, the Anfield bench. Bill and thirty-three thousand, two hundred and seventy folk were watching Liverpool Football Club play Sportgemeinschaft Dynamo Dresden of East Germany in the first leg of the Fourth Round of the UEFA Cup. In the twenty-fifth minute, they watched Brian Hall pass to Steve Heighway. And Heighway passed to Phil Boersma. Boersma crossed for Hall. And Hall headed the cross. Into the net and into a goal. In the sixtieth minute, they watched Heighway shoot. And the shot was saved. But the ball fell to Boersma. Boersma shot. And again the shot was saved. But again the ball fell to Boersma. Again Boersma shot. And Boersma scored. And Liverpool Football Club beat Sportgemeinschaft Dynamo Dresden two — nil in the first leg of the Fourth Round of the UEFA Cup. At home,

at Anfield. On the bench, the Anfield bench. In the thirty-seventh minute, Bill and forty-one thousand, six hundred and seventy-four folk watched Tommy Smith roll a free kick to Brian Hall. And Hall crossed the ball. The ball came back to Hall. Hall crossed the ball again. Larry Lloyd met the cross. And Lloyd headed the cross. Into the net and into a goal. One minute later, they watched Phil Boersma pass to John Toshack. And Toshack shot. The shot blocked on the line. But there was Kevin Keegan. And Keegan shot. And Keegan scored. And Liverpool Football Club were beating Southampton Football Club two — nil. At home, at Anfield. But in the forty-fourth minute, Larry Lloyd and Emlyn Hughes misjudged a long free kick from Steele. The long free kick floating behind Lloyd and Hughes. Channon behind Lloyd and Hughes. And Channon headed the ball over Ray Clemence. Into the net and into a goal. And in the sixty-first minute, Lloyd and Clemence went up for the same ball. Lloyd and Clemence misjudged the ball. The ball falling to Gilchrist. And Gilchrist shot. Into the open goal, into the yawning net. And Liverpool Football Club were drawing two-all with Southampton Football Club. But at home, at Anfield. The supporters of Liverpool Football Club did not surrender. The Spion Kop did not surrender. The Kop called, the Spion Kop roared. For victory. And in the eighty-seventh minute, Phil Boersma crossed for Keegan. Keegan jumped, Keegan leapt. On spring heels. Keegan met the ball. And Keegan headed the ball. Into the net and into a goal. The winning goal. And the Kop cheered, the Spion Kop celebrated. Victory. That evening, Arsenal Football Club had forty-eight points and Liverpool Football Club had forty-eight points, too. But Liverpool Football Club were still first in the First Division. On goal average.

On the bench, the bench at the Victoria Ground. Bill watched Liverpool Football Club play Stoke City. And Bill did not see Liverpool Football Club score. But Bill did see Stoke City score. An own goal. And Liverpool Football Club beat Stoke City one — nil. Away from home, away from Anfield. Thanks to an own goal. Liverpool Football Club were still first in the First Division. Not on goal average –

On points again. By two points again –

First, still first.

…

In the hospital, on the ward. By her bed, her hospital bed. The doctors said Ness was over the worst. The doctors said Ness could go back home. But the doctors said Ness would still need to rest. And to take things easy. Bill knew Ness did not like to rest. And to take things easy. Bill worried that Ness would not rest. And not take things easy. And Bill was worried because he had to go away. Away to Germany, away to Dresden. Bill knew his daughters would take care of Ness. His daughters would look after Ness. And their friends and their neighbours. But Bill was still worried. Bill did not want to go away. Away to Germany, away to Dresden. Bill wanted to stay at home, to stay in Liverpool. To take care of Ness, to look after Ness.

Ness shook her head. And Ness smiled –

But it’s what you do, love. It’s your work. So you have to go, love. And you have not to be worrying about me …

But I do worry. I worry I should be here. Here with you …

Ness shook her head again –

You have to go, love. It’s your job. The job that puts the food on our table, love. And keeps the roof over our head. It’s your work …

I know, love. I know it’s my job. I know it’s my work. But it keeps me from you. From taking care of you, from looking after you. And that’s not right, love. That cannot be right …

But the girls will take care of me, love. The girls will look after me. So there’s no need for you to be here, love. Under my feet.

Perhaps not this time. But what about the next time? There’s never a time when I’m here. Never a time when I’m not at work. I’ve never been here. Here when you needed me, here when I should have been. I know I have neglected you. I know I have, love …

Now you’re talking rubbish, laughed Ness. A load of old rubbish, love. I’ve never once felt neglected in my life. Believe me, love. Never once. But I do worry about you . I worry about the strain of it all on you. The long days and the long nights. The days away and the nights away. I do worry about that. Because I worry about you, love. Because I know you don’t do things by half. I know it’s not in your nature. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. Have you any other way, love. But that doesn’t stop me worrying. About the strain of it all on you. That’s what I worry about, love. I worry about you.

I know that, love. I know that. But the doctors don’t want you worrying. And I don’t want you worrying, love. Because that’s no good for you. No good for you at all, love. No good …