Su Tong - The Boat to Redemption

‘You make her sick. If it’s money you want, she’ll give it to you. Or food. But if it’s anything else, dream on.’

I saw Huixian’s reflection in the glass; she was clearly agitated. She moved from one chair to the next, then went into the boiler room. I felt like shouting to her, ‘Go over to the general store, your mother’s waiting there, she’s looking for you!’ But in the end, that was a secret I had to keep to myself. If it was disclosed it would become laughable, and I’d become a lunatic in her eyes. I can’t describe the dejection I felt. I set down my bag, pointed across the street, and said, ‘You’ve got it all wrong. I’m waiting for them to make the cotton stuffing for a quilt.’

‘Then wait for it over there. Why come here? Every day you come here to cause trouble.’

‘He hasn’t got the guts. He’s like a bitch in heat.’ A man walked out of the boiler room. It was Wang Xiaogai. What a shock! He picked up a pair of scissors to trim his nose hair. ‘You can fool other people, Kongpi, but not me. I know what’s on your mind. The next time you come here like a bitch in heat, you’ll wind up exactly like your old man.’ He sneered and pointed at my crotch with his scissors. ‘That thing of yours likes to act up, and you don’t know how to control it, right? Well, I can take care of that. I’ll take half of it for you!’

This time my lungs felt as if they were about to explode. I stormed into the shop and headed straight for Xiaogai. Seeing trouble, Little Chen and Old Cui intercepted me, one holding my arm, the other wrapping his arms around my waist to stop me. ‘He was just kidding, it was a joke. He didn’t mean it, Kongpi.’ But Xiaogai, who was holding a stool in front of himself as protection, was not finished. ‘Cutting that off would remove a scourge to the people. Don’t think I wouldn’t do it. I’d be helping you out. With half a dick, you could stand in for your old man!’

The blood rushed to my head. Spoiling for a fight, I started to take off my belt. ‘Come on,’ I said, ‘you and your scissors. If you don’t you’re a fucking coward. Just you try, and see if I don’t cut off your dog dick!’

Our anger had a comical effect. Little Chen let go of me and bent over in side-splitting laughter. Old Cui grabbed my hand to stop me from taking off my belt. ‘Leave that alone!’ he demanded. ‘I’m telling you to cool down, Kongpi. If you don’t stop taking off your trousers, we’ll treat you like a common hooligan.’

Huixian came out of the boiler room. ‘What’s all the fighting about?’ The sight of my trousers on their way down gave her a momentary fright. But then she rolled her eyes and said, ‘You ugly clown, you’re disgusting!’ I couldn’t blame her for calling me that, given the way things must have looked. I’d have felt the same way, but it was all Xiaogai’s fault. I hitched up my trousers, waiting for her to work out what was going on, but then I saw the cold look in her eyes and watched as she banged a comb against the table. ‘Haven’t you disgraced yourself enough?’ she said. ‘If you have, then get out of here. Just get out!’

Nothing could have hurt me more than that demand. She should have been able to see that it hadn’t been my fault, so why was she telling me to get out? I lost control. ‘I’ve disgraced myself for over twenty years!’ I bellowed. ‘So what! I’m not leaving until he comes over and cuts off my dick!’

That stopped her. ‘If he won’t go, Xiaogai, you leave. It’s time for you to go to work, anyway.’

But Xiaogai surprised us all by staying put. ‘I’m not leaving till he does,’ he said. ‘I’m responsible for keeping order, and it’s my job to watch him.’

With her hands on her hips and a frown on her face, Huixian sized up me and Xiaogai in turn before turning on her heel and saying, ‘This makes me sick. If neither of you will leave, I will.’

Everyone watched silently as she took off her white smock and hung it on a peg. Underneath she was as fashionable as ever, in a cream-coloured turtleneck sweater over a pair of black bell-bottomed trousers. A string of pearls completed the outfit. Even though she had suffered setbacks in her life, there was no denying that she had a lovely figure, with full breasts, a slim waist and nice long legs. My gaze slid timidly down and down, stopping just above her knees. But of course I couldn’t see those lovely, alluring knees, the mere thought of which gave me a case of the nerves. Lowering my head, I had a feeling that her flaring trouser legs had floated over to me, just as I heard her say in a flat tone of voice, ‘Wait here for me, Ku Dongliang. I’ll be right back.’

What was that all about? Even Xiaogai and the others gave her a puzzled look. Xiaogai broke the silence. ‘What do you think you’re doing?’ Huixian ignored the question. She pushed open the door and walked out. I watched as she paused by the flowerbed and gently brushed the sunflowers with her hand. Then she walked off without a backward glance.

Xiaogai started after her, but I wasn’t going to let that happen. I picked up the scissors and blocked his way. Unfortunately, Old Cui and Little Chen were on his side, and I was outnumbered. I could only stand and watch Xiaogai walk outside. He turned, pointed at me threateningly and said, ‘Just you wait, Kongpi. Don’t think I won’t use those things on you. And if I don’t, somebody else will. Get ready to go into mourning for that dick of yours. You’re full of big talk now, but you’ll be begging for mercy before long.’

I stayed in the barbershop, waiting for Huixian to return. Waiting, too, for Xiaogai to return, and that made me uncomfortable. I sat in the corner from two in the afternoon, reading a newspaper. It was a new edition, but the contents hardly differed from days before: ‘News of victories on the labour front continue to pour in’ or ‘Unprecedented harvests in the agricultural, forestry, and fishery industries,’ stuff like that. All I had to do was read the first paragraph to know what the entire article said. Old Cui and Little Chen left me alone, and I ignored them.

Customers started showing up before long, under my watchful eye. A middle-aged woman with a youthful, seductive voice came in and sat down. She and Old Cui seemed to be on close terms. The flirting between barber and customer began. I didn’t like what I was seeing. Didn’t he know that this work environment had a bad influence on Huixian? Next through the door was a young dandy in fancy clothes, an official at the General Affairs Building called Little Zheng. He was obviously looking for Huixian, since he glanced around and poked his head in the boiler room. When he saw that she wasn’t there, he patted Little Chen on the shoulder and left. He hadn’t said a word the whole time. That put me on my guard. ‘What did Little Zheng want?’ I asked Little Chen.

He just looked at me out of the corner of his eye and snorted contemptuously. ‘That’s funny, you asking about other people. What is it you want?’

What could I say? ‘I’m waiting for Huixian,’ I said once I’d gathered my wits. ‘She told me to.’

‘You think she likes you, don’t you? She says wait, and you wait. Maybe she wants you to take in a movie. Or maybe have a wedding picture taken at the photographer’s shop. Dream on!’

‘Say what you like, I’m not leaving. I’m waiting for Xiaogai to come back and cut off my dick.’

He sneered. ‘This is no place for you to be showing off, Kongpi. We know all about you. You’re no match for Wang Xiaogai, so I’d steer clear of trouble, if I were you, and head back to the fleet now, before it’s too late.’

The clock on the wall said it was nearly four o’clock. It was beginning to get dark outside. I spotted Chunsheng and his sister walking past the barbershop shouldering a bag of rice. Fortunately, they didn’t see me on the other side of the glass door; that would have meant trouble for sure. The waiting was beginning to get to me, and in my mind’s eye I could see Father, eyes glued to the shore, rolling pin in hand, and his worry had turned to anger; he was willing me to return to the barge. Tired of sulking, I decided to go across the street to pick up the quilt stuffing, but I’d only made it as far as the door when a familiar figure appeared. It was Huixian; she’d come back.